January 31, 2010

¿Quien es mas Loathsome?

The Beast's list of the Fifty Most Loathsome Americans of 2009 is out. Normally, this wouldn't count as a Texas story except look who snagged the coveted Number Five Spot. . .

5. Rick Perry

Charges: Perry is to justice what Jeff Dunham is to comedy. When the Texas Forensic Science Commission began reviewing the flawed ‘91 arson case against Cameron Todd Willingham, who was wrongly executed in 2004 for the murder of his three children, Perry responded by replacing 4 of the 9 Commission members with capital punishment enthusiasts to boost his electoral stock. He also riled his benighted base with the kind of secessionist rhetoric that would only seem hypocritical if Texas accepted federal stimulus money, which Perry decried, and hey, he only took $17 billion.

Exhibit A: “Texas is a unique place. When we came in the union in 1845 one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decide to do that.”

Sentence: Lethal injection.

Who could be even more (or slightly less) loathsome than Old Thirty-Nine Percent? Lookee here.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 04:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 29, 2010

This Can't Be Good

Headline on the Slag's website wonders

Scanners coming to Capitol?


Next session could be messier than a Gallagher show.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 10:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 22, 2010

Following Supreme Court ruling on corporate bucks, The Burger King declares "Le dejeuner, c'est moi"

Henceforth, Whopper only available his way. You'll eat it and like it, peasant.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 02:41 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 18, 2008

Harry Balczac's Reminder To You People, Part 1

Even though it's 2008, I'm still good and stewed over that dumb, dumb thing You People did in 2004 - all 62 million plus of you. (I won't bring up 2000 or what a smaller subset of You People did in '98 and '94, because I'm magnanimous that way).

So just to make sure You People don't do something similarly stupid this year, I'm introducing a new recurring feature from now until Election Day: Harry Balczac's Reminder To You People. In this series, I will periodically chime in with some reminder of the ridiculous sales pitches that duped all You People just four short years ago.

Hopefully, being made to inhale your own brain farts in this manner will build up your resistance to future campaign sophistry (a more accurate term would be McThuselan Bullshit or GOP Projectile DooDooBomb, but again, my magnanimity...). So without further ado, I bring you Installment One: "The Commander In Chief....Of T-Ball!!"

Remember when all You People were scared that terrorists were under the bed, but you felt safe because His Deciderness wore a fighter pilot uniform, and said "Bring it on" to the "Terr'rists", and swaggered a lot, and had his surrogates slander the other candidate who actually went into combat instead of playing hookie from stateside duty, and all You People positively SWOONED over what a strong, manly, Alpha-male Commander In Chief we had, like old-timey women who got the vapors while entertaining gentlemen callers in the parlor?

Well, the war in Iraq is still on, Afghanistan is still a festering Stage IV decubitis ulcer on the ass of the Asian landmass, Pakistan is getting worse in a hurry, the military is more demoralized than ever, but our Commander in Chief, who YOU PEOPLE elected, can't be bothered right now...because he's got a T-Ball game to officiate. Dana Milbank of WaPo has the story here.

Nero played the violin while Rome burned. Our commander-in-chief plays T-ball with a chipmunk. You People think about that.

Posted by hbalczak at 08:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 04, 2008

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

In 1976 people were seriously talking about the extinction of the Republican Party. The Democrats had made huge gains in Congress following the resignation of Richard Nixon in 1974, and the future of caretaker President Gerald Ford was bleak. With the American people weary of Republican corruption, incompetence and crisis, the stage seemed set for an era of Democratic dominance.

Then a funny thing happened. The Democrats nominated someone who was not part of the Washington scene, a folksy peanut farmer from Georgia who promised a new kind of politics. That candidate, Jimmy Carter, won narrowly, and his Administration went on to become one of the most disastrous in our history. Inexperienced in dealing with (a supposedly friendly) Congress, Carter floundered as economic and energy problems went unaddressed, detente with the Soviet Union slipped away, and the US suffered the stunning humiliation of the seizure of our embassy in Tehran by goons and the taking of our diplomats as hostages. And so four years later here came Reagan to dismantle the New Deal.

Sadly, it seems like the Democratic Party's taste for self-immolation is still unsated. It now seems unlikely that the "superdelegates" will actually do their duty and prevent the nomination of our least-qualified candidate since William Jennings Bryan. (Look him up... he was another windbag with a famous speech.) Well, if that's what you kiddos want, have at it. But as for me, I've seen this movie. And it sucked.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 08:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 14, 2008

A minor request : Part 10089

Would someone please put Adam Sandler and Mike Myers out of the universe's misery? Both have summer movies coming out that make it pretty clear that both are fighting one another to become the next Jerry Lewis. Why we'd need another isn't nearly as clear.

So, yeah, if someone would help me out with this it would be great.

Posted by mcblogger at 01:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 12, 2008


Today I was happily driving along listening intently to what was going on around the world and landed smack dab in the middle of some honest to god bullshit. (I know this is a surprising occurence in this day and age) Anyway, CNN was chit chatting along about the country is broke, $120 a barrell blah blah blah, the usual....AND THEN...They played clips from and interview they did with a guy leaving a foodbank (in New York I believe). Anyway, they were discussing how many of the people they are finding at the foodbank these days are far from the "typical" foodbank candidate... Typical meaning, jobless, carless, uneducated etc. Well this man happened to have a college education, a home, a car and a job however, he is still unable to make ends meet, something most of us can relate to more often than we would like to admit. The story went on to discuss that many Americans right now look comfortable and collected on the surface, they live in nice homes, their kids drive BMW's to school with iPods shoved in their ears but come home to NO FOOD!!! WTF is that??? I will tell you what it is...RIDICULOUS!!! Do they truly value the appearance of being "upper crust" above making decisions like saving MONEY and EATING??? I cant imagine being so stupid, not in a million years. Stories like this are humiliating and disgraceful to our country. If you act like that, shame on you, starve starve starve away. Keep your grimy hands off food that people actually need!!!

Posted by Lovelie99 at 08:10 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack