June 19, 2008

Winning the stupid olympics

  • Even though there's very little cheap oil left, that didn't stop the Republican Pander Express from making it's way to Dallas to talk about their brill plan to deal with energy costs... drill. Lookit, there isn't enough in the ground that you can bring up in any cost effective way to reduce oil prices. You've got to stop speculation, then you have to develop real alternatives.

    PhotobucketThere is NOT some giant, trillion barrel reserve under the Rockies. Or ANWR. Or the Gulf. Oh sure, there's a ton of oil down there but it's expensive to bring up. Too expensive by far to help us out. So quit lying to people, Joe Barton. And lose some weight because you're getting hella fat. Assweavil.

    Hey MSM... ask Kay Granger what the per barrel cost will be to produce oil out of ANWR and how much it could realistically produce in a year. Watch the steam come out of her ears. Yes, Reporters, things really are that goddamn simple. Ask any analyst. Better yet, since you won't believe my blogging ass, ask Matt Simmons.

    WP has more including information on Burgess' little Energy Expo which just sounds precious. If you like pandering bullshit and lies. Someone go and tell us if he actually says prices will fall immediately.

  • Apparently, the R's had themselves an interesting vendor at their little convention.
  • And finally, there's this from our moribund friends on the right. Love y'all, but y'all have to understand. People hate you. Seriously, I love my Republican friends, mostly because even they hate the R electeds. Especially 39%.
  • Hava Goodun!

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    May 01, 2008


    Most of you are aware that Jason Meeker is not one of my favorite candidates, in fact if it were up to me he would not be allowed to run for anything...ever... My own unique interpretation of Meeker the Gleekers Ridiculous Campaign Circus is that he is not only into self defeating behavior but he is in fact getting off on his own ignorant, irritating and thoughtless actions.... It's ok Jason many of us are enjoying it to...

    Jasons Latest! InFactDaily.Com

    Small dramas continue in Place 1 race . . . Political consultant Mark Nathan of Austin Strategies was annoyed to find that someone had put a campaign sign in his yard without his permission. The fact that the sign was for Place 1 candidate Jason Meeker did not set very well, either – Nathan is a consultant for Place 1 incumbent Lee Leffingwell. Accordingly, Nathan fired off an email to Meeker: “I'm writing to let you know that you just put up one of your large 4' x 6' signs on my property at 1627 Barton Springs Road, obviously without my permission,” Nathan wrote. “Putting up a 4' x 6' sign without permission on the property of your opponent's campaign manager is a truly unique strategy! As it happens, while I was taking your sign down, I noticed that it doesn't have any of the legally required disclaimer language on it.” After informing Meeker of the law, and making a request that he remove the signs, Nathan continued, “I appreciate that you are a first-time candidate, and, according to today's news accounts, that you have not been able to raise sufficient funds to retain a campaign manager who might have helped you become familiar with the basic state and city laws governing political campaign advertising.” He also asked for Meeker’s plans to remedy the problems with his campaign signs, and of course, an apology . .

    Posted by Lovelie99 at 02:25 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    May 28, 2007

    Are jury verdicts in civil trials irrelevant?

    According to the ultra-conservative Texas Supreme Court, you bet... if they disagree with the verdict even if it was based on sound legal ground. Way to turn the appeals process on it's head...

    Reversing a multimillion dollar judgment is not out of character for a court packed with conservative judges, six of them appointed by Gov. Rick Perry before winning pro forma elections. But the legal reasoning that the slim majority used to justify its ruling was so alarming—and sets such an unappetizing precedent—that it has spawned incredulity in Texas legal circles. In effect, the court reviewed the evidence and decided the jury was wrong. It was a remarkable reach beyond the court’s usual exercise of power.

    Ordinarily, appeals courts give great deference to a jury’s conclusions. Jurors, after all, are the ones who hear the witnesses, review evidence, and deliberate the case. A court usually has a compelling reason when it decides to disregard the jury’s conclusions.

    What that reason might be is not clear in this case. More than a few scholars argue that the state Supreme Court doesn’t have a sound legal principle with which to justify its decision. Worse, they fear it opens the door for other Texas courts to begin arbitrarily tossing aside jury verdicts with which they disagree. If the high court continues on this course, they say, the constitutional right to a civil jury trial could be in jeopardy.

    Pinche Tejano has more on the judges up for re-election next year. These folks need to be shown the door, post haste.

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    March 23, 2007

    I'm back, bitches! Now on to drinks... Hey, I gotta catch up with Barfly who has been in town for hours.

    And yes, American Airlines still sucks!

    Posted by mcblogger at 11:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    February 14, 2007

    Giant pile of mulch is STILL on fire...

    B and B has more about the endless saga of the Helotes mulch fire. The most amazing thing? The folks at TCEQ don't appear to know much about the Edwards Aquifer.

    It's quite amazing that it took so long for TCEQ to agree to a cautious approach such as this, especially given the well contamination discovered a few weeks ago after the initial fire-fighting efforts. Late last week, Dig Deeper Texas pointed to an Express-News editorial that may partially explain this, as TCEQ officials reportedly were unaware that there are no treatment plants for Edwards aquifer water. That such plants are not necessary is one reason why the aquifer is so valuable. Even with its chronic lack of funding, TCEQ has no excuse not to know such basic facts about their state.

    Take that back... the most amazing thing is that this damn thing is still burning (it started EIGHT WEEKS AGO). The second most amazing that is that the state agency tasked with protecting natural resources (like the Edwards Aquifer) knows little about them.

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    November 30, 2006

    New York enlists in War on Christmas

    Who would have guessed that the TABC's reputation for heavy handed stupidity is not unrivalled?

    A New York beer distributor has received word by telephone that the New York State Liquor Authority will not allow six beers with cheerful holiday-themed labels to be sold in the state this Christmas season. The SLA representative explained that the labels could not be approved for sale because Christmas imagery would “appeal to underage drinkers.” The banned beer labels are:

    • Santa’s Butt Winter Porter (depicting Santa enjoying a pint atop a large barrel, or ‘butt,’ of beer) • Warm Welcome Nut-Browned Ale (depicting Santa arriving to a fiery welcome at the bottom of the chimney shaft) • Very Bad Elf Special Reserve Ale (depicting a wayward elf celebrating Christmas a little too early) • Seriously Bad Elf English Double Ale (depicting the same elf taking aim at Santa and his sleigh with a slingshot) • Criminally Bad Elf Barley-Wine-Style Ale (depicting the intractable and belligerent elf finally behind bars) • Rudolph’s Revenge Winter Ale (a straight-on cartoon portrait of the famous red-nosed reindeer)

    Shelton Brothers, importers of the beers, have retained an Albany attorney, George Carpinello, of Boies, Schiller & Flexner, to seek a court ruling overturning the SLA’s decision. George Carpinello was the lead attorney for the plaintiff in the case of Bad Frog Brewing Co. v. New York State Liquor Authority, which culminated in 1998 in a decision by the federal Court of Appeals holding, among other things, that the brewery’s First Amendment right to use the label image of its choosing could not be infringed by the SLA on the tenuous assumption that the image would appeal to younger people.

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 08:08 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    November 12, 2006

    and the winner of the 2006 Anna Nicole Smith Award goes to

    A gig's a gig, and God forbid I want anyone denied a paycheck, but when the Austin actress who portrayed the playboy bunny in the smear ad against Harold Ford said it was all in good fun, then I take exception. If she thinks that character assassination and trying to ruin someone's political career is fun, then she must think that Abu Ghraib was a silly frat prank. Oh yeah, that was the Republican talking point.

    I guess if she had admitted the ad was racist, her acting career would pretty well be over except for the occasional GOP leadership stag party. Excuse me, I forgot, Jeff Gannon's replacement takes care of that role.

    Posted by Captain Kroc at 11:40 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    October 31, 2006

    I ain't scared of no ghost

    You know, sometimes I actually feel sorry for kids these days. Sure, when I was growing up Mister H Bomb loomed over us all, but we were allowed to play dodge ball, play unsupervised with pretty much anyone we wanted ("play dates"? what nazi dreamed those up?) and Halloween was all about the candy.

    Bruce Watters used to simply hand out candy on Halloween, just like his neighbors in St. Petersburg, Fla., until he decided the holiday's ghoulishness really didn't jibe with his Christian beliefs.

    But rather than skip the neighborhood ritual, he's put a Christian stamp on it. For the third year in a row, kids will leave his porch with a piece of candy, plus a religious tract - a concise, colorful handout telling how to attain salvation through Jesus Christ.

    Good luck with that.

    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 03:15 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

    October 02, 2006

    Welcome to Texas. Move the fuck out of the way!

    I went to Waco today. A trip to Waco entails a drive up and back down 35, normally an irritating experience that makes me want to start flicking cigarettes at other cars on the road. Today was different... in fact, it was actually kind of nice because for the first time in a long time, people weren't assholes. When they saw me coming up on them at 85 or 90 (I drive fast. What're you? My insurance agent?) they got out of the way. The people from Texas, that is.

    And no, I wasn't drinking.

    The foreigners, however, must have been to the 'blind grandmother' school of driving which teaches 'as long as you are actually in motion, you belong in the left lane'. Shit you not. Keep in mind, I'm not referring to drivers from Mexico... they know better, with the only exception from south of the border being those jackass car dealers who are all the time driving down their latest purchase from Dallas to Brownsville. The foreigners to which I am referring were from less exotic places like Iowa, Indiana, Virginia, Oklahoma, and Illinois. Basically, states other than Texas where apparently stupid is a either taught to them early on or is a congenital defect.

    Being the nice person I am, I thought I'd provide a handy 'tip sheet' to those of you coming to visit or even live in Texas. We're thrilled to have you, as long as you get out of our way... this ain't really the south, y'all. Technically it's the southwest and you'll learn soon enough that we're always in a hurry.

    McBlogger's Handy Driving Tips

    and Suggestions

  • For the love of God, stay out of the left lane unless you are going to quickly pass someone.

  • If you're the kind of asshole who decides to ignore the above, at least be swift enough to realize when there is a large SUV rapidly approaching from behind. I HATE to use my brakes, so please try looking in your rearview mirror at least every minute or so

  • When someone gets out of your way, as you pass please wave them a 'thank you'. This is Texas and no matter what kind of issue is causing you drive like a bat out of hell, you've always got time to be friendly

  • If you're from California, we get that traffic on the 405 is always bumper to bumper and hardly moving. We also know it's that way on the 10, the 5 and the all the other freeways. However, you're in Texas now which means unless the car in front of you is at a dead stop, your foot better be on the accelerator. Pressing down.

  • If, when passing a tractor-trailer, you notice a car or two behind you, assume the worst because it's reality. There is a mile of cars backed up behind you, all of which are being driven by people who wish you were anywhere BUT in front of them. Slam on the gas, pass the damn truck and GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY.

  • Yes, yes... you drive as fast as you think is safe. That's great for you. Please don't be the guy who's trying to hold down the speed for everyone. That guy's a dick. Be the guy who realizes that while 70 is a perfectly acceptable speed, others may want to go faster. In fact, to them, 70 is excrutiatingly slow.

  • For all you country folks... there is no shame in being passed. This isn't the speedway in Ennis. This is real life and by playing games, you're fucking with mine. That makes me mad as hell so please don't think of it as losing... think of it as helping a fellow Texan.
  • If there's anything I missed please feel free to leave a comment and let me know. If you think that one of the tips applies to you, then please take a moment, think about what you've done and remember... traffic is hell everywhere. Let's make it a little easier on all of us.

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:23 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    August 24, 2006

    Why I Love America, Part Deux

    Earlier today, I was going to write about the gay porn star who donated his craft to Israeli troops, (because EVERYONE knows that "gays are the chosen people" - that's why I always have some around. They are the most fun of all peoples) but I found something better.

    Better than gay porn? Say it ain't so!

    Indeed! It inclueds hiding your penis pump from your mom and an airport security guard mistook your explaination as a "bomb"! Shit howdy! I envision some red faces....

    Now I want to know, is a penis pump recognized the same under Texas law as a vibrator? (For those of you who don't know the LAW - it is illegal to own more than 5 vibrators, or you can go to jail. Or have a don't ask, don't tell policy...)

    Evidence ruled sufficient in penis pump case

    August 24, 2006

    BY STEFANO ESPOSITO Staff Reporter

    "The female airport security guard held the small, black, squeezable rubber object she'd just plucked out of Mardin Amin's backpack, and eyed it suspiciously.

    Standing next to his mother, an embarrassed Amin whispered out of one corner of his mouth that it was a "pump" -- as in a penis pump. The guard misunderstood the Iraqi man and thought she heard the word "bomb," Amin's attorney told a Cook County judge Wednesday.

    "He told her it's a pump," attorney Eileen O'Neill-Burke said as a cluster of burly, snickering police officers watched the court proceedings. "He's standing with his mother. Of course he's not going to shout this out."

    But after listening to the female guard testify she heard Amin "clearly" say the word bomb during the Aug. 16 incident at O'Hare Airport, Judge Gerald Winiecki decided there was enough evidence for the case to move forward. Amin, 29, is charged with felony disorderly conduct and faces up to three years in prison if convicted.

    Hid it from mom

    Prosecutors say Amin, who was on his way to Turkey with his mother and two small children last week, twice told security officials that he was carrying a bomb. Only later did he admit he had initially lied about the rubber object's true function because he didn't want his mother to know he was carrying a penis pump, prosecutors say.

    After Wednesday's hearing, a mostly jovial Amin said airport security officials never gave him an opportunity to explain the misunderstanding. And he said he would never utter the word "bomb" while going through security.

    'Half of America' uses it

    "Come on -- what do you think?" said Amin, who lives in Skokie and works for a janitorial service.

    Amin may not want his mother to know he has a penis pump, but he said he doesn't consider it an unusual device to own.

    "It's normal," he said. "Half of America they use it." Amin is due back in court Sept. 13."

    So which half of America is using one and why are they holding out on me?!

    Posted by at 04:43 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    July 24, 2006

    What kind of 'Tards make fun of disabilities?

    The kind that live in Nephi, Utah (duh!)

    So a neighbor puts up a sign saying "Caution, Retards in the Area" because (supposedly) the 13-year-old developmentally disabled boy has been "harrassing" his daughter.

    So the NBC affiliate goes out to the scene, and this is what happens:

    "As we were filming the sign, we could see the neighbors who put it up were outside, so we approached them for their side of the story.

    Sam Penrod, Eyewitness News: "Why did you put that sign up?

    Neighbor: "I've been harassed for six months, my daughter has been assaulted."

    Sam Penrod, Eyewitness News "By who?"

    Neighbor: 'The young boy, we got pictures and everything and they would not press charges because he is handicapped.' The neighbor claims Colton threw a rock at his young daughter. Other neighbors told us they have frequently found Colton wandering onto their property."

    Kids wander and throw rocks all the time. They are kids, that's all there is to do, besides hang out in the Wendy's parking lot eating frostys and macking (oh, wait, that's what I did in small town Louisiana, after we went cow tipping...)

    Only a total asshole does something like this.

    Read the whole story here (including great pictures of the Trailer Mama telling off the police!)

    Posted by at 11:33 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack