June 29, 2008

Get Over It!

Maureen Dowd's column in the New York Times today describes a woman named Carmella who attended the Barack and Hillary "Unity" rally on Unity Day at Unity Hour in Unity, N.H. The theme, you may be surprised to know, was UNITY, but Carmella was having none of it:

Carmella Lewis, with her Hillary T-shirt and Hillary placard, came all the way from Denver to make sure there would be plenty of ambiguity, duality and ferocity in Unity.

Just as Hillary was testing out the unfamiliar familiarity “Barack and me” Friday and talking about “his grace and his grit,” Carmella began loudly booing and waving her sign.

“We want Hillary!” screamed the 57-year-old retired ad saleswoman and Clinton delegate.

“It’s over, lady!” yelled some Obama supporters a few yards away.

It got worse:

Carmella and her friends continued to cry, “Nobama!” “We love you, Hillary!” and “We need Hillary!” as Barack Obama sat onstage on a stool behind his former rival, his finger studiously at his lips.

Carmella was not impressed with all the kissing, laughing and whispering that Hill and Bam were diligently doing for the cameras, so that the moment could produce, as Obama press aide Robert Gibbs put it on “Larry King Live,” “a great picture.”

When it was Obama’s turn to speak, Carmella announced loudly, “I wish I had ear plugs.” Then, as Obama tried to ingratiate himself with the Hillary partisans in the crowd by saying that because of the New York senator, his daughters “can take for granted that women can do anything that the boys can do and do it better and do it in heels,” Carmella put her fingers in her ears.

As Obama tried to curry favor with Hillary, looking over at her sensible, sturdy shoes and marveling, “I still don’t know how she does it in heels,” Carmella tore up a tissue and stuffed it in her ears.

When Obama pandered with a line about how he wouldn’t “perpetuate a system in which women are paid less for the same work as men,” she put her hands over her tissue-stuffed ears.

Clearly, this woman is deranged. Seriously, folks. I know and love many people, men and women alike, who worked their asses off for Hillary Clinton. Not because she was a woman, or because she was the first serious female candidate for the presidency, but because she is a smart, talented, capable, national political leader who'd make a great President. But mostly because they're good Democrats, tired of the lies and incompetence and hypocrisy and greed and narrow-minded self-righteousness and cronyism and warmongering and oil-addiction that is the Bush Administration and, although the GOP does not like to admit it, the modern Republican Party, and they want a good Democratic candidate to take over the reins because, God knows, THE COUNTRY NEEDS IT.

And so they worked their asses off for Hillary Clinton. And as they stuffed envelopes and phone-banked and block-walked, they were joined by others -- surlier, impatient, haunted and hardened by all the slights and inequities they'd endured as women and contemptuous of the give-and-take of politics. They were on a mission, and they were ENTITLED, goddamit. Entitled to see Hillary as President. Entitled to rage and thunder at anyone who dared to stand in her way, certain that only rank blatant sexism of the sort they'd be putting up with or lashing back at all their lives could explain opposition to The Coronation.

They fumed at the media's condescension towards Hillary. They marveled that anyone found Bill Clinton's South Carolina remarks patronizing or detected a subtle racial appeal in Hillary's comments about "white America." They roared at the injustice of the caucus process, ignoring the fact that caucuses were designed to measure the kind of activism and dedication they themselves were showing.

And most of all, they raged at The Upstart -- young, untested, undoubtedly charismatic and all the more dangerous because of it. Didn't he know it was not his time yet (if it ever would be)? Didn't he realize it was Her Turn, Her Right, that she was Entitled? And who were all these unshaven boys and tattooed girls charging like a tidal wave behind him? (And what were those girls thinking? Didn't they respect their elder sisters in the movement, who got them this far? Ungrateful bitches.)

The Carmella Lewises are mad as hell and they're not going to take it any more. They're going to vote for McCain, who's endorsed a constitutional amendment banning abortions and called for more Scalias and Thomases on the Supreme Court. John McCain, who routinely votes against funding for women's health and family planning services. John McCain, who once called his trophy wife and sugar momma the "C" word.

As a lifelong Democrat who believes this country is on the brink of disaster and desperately needs a Democratic President -- and yes, specifically, needs Barack Obama -- I have this to say. Vote for McCain if you want. See you. Don't let the door of the Democratic Party hit you in the ass on the way out.

And if McCain wins and appoints another right-winger to the Supreme Court, and we're still in Iraq in four years and your grandson gets killed there, and middle-class life is in a tailspin while the rich get richest -- not a word. Not a single word. Not a single fucking word out of you.

It's over, lady.

Posted by BigDrunk at 11:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 09, 2006

Lieberman---Party of One

Feel the Joenertia!

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 04:12 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 16, 2006

LaBare-ing Your True Beliefs

This story was just too great not to pick up and pick apart.

Austin tries to close male strip club

Officials in Austin, Texas, are trying to close down a male strip club that caters to women, arguing that LaBare lives up to its name.

The club's owner, Kevin Cox, told the Austin American-Statesman...

Wait. Stop right there. LaBare is owned by a man named COX?!?!? Fucking awesome. I think it should be pointed out right here and now that the ASS, I mean, AAS is owned by, yes, wait for it, COX Newspapers, Inc.

...the dancers do not go beyond the topless stage, with boxers or briefs covering their genital areas.

Who wears boxers at a strip club? Where are the thongs people? I wouldn't want to go see some ladies prancing around in granny's knickers! Hell, that's a better reason to shut the place down.

He describes the dance routines as fantasies in which the strippers do standup comedy or dress up as firefighters or police officers.

What is this, the YMCA? Or do I just really not understand what the hell straight women think is a 'hot night out at the strip club'?

But city officials say some of the routines imitate sex acts and the men sometimes bare their rear ends. Because the club is within 1,000 feet of the Texas School for the Deaf and Town Lake Park, that would be illegal.

The school for the deaf?!?! So just how bad is the dance music and that stand up comedy act? *eye roll* Somehow I'm really doubting that anyone is going to LaBare while class is in session. You know, because most people go to class during the daylight hours, and to strip clubs when it's dark outside?

Still, this story would be about 249% more hilarious if the strip club were within 1,000 feet of the Texas School for the Blind. Or if LaBare was the headquarters for Quest Personals phone division.

So here is my solution for the whole bootylicious problem with LaBare and the School for the Deaf.

Posted by spamburgler at 06:23 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

April 25, 2006

The Nutters Phelps

Sean Hannity and Alan Colmes normally make me puke. However, I think I've found something about which we can completely agree, our mutual dislike for the Phelps family. You may remember them from this post or possibly from this one.

This video is of the daughter (the lawyer in the family, natch) on Hannity&Colmes and it is HYSTERICAL. She's almost Jennifer Gale-like in her speech. Watch it now and enjoy!

Posted by mcblogger at 01:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 23, 2006

Fred Phelps... still beating up Veterans who aren't gay, now even in hospitals!

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YouthAgainstBush over at EmpiresFall has a great video up about Fred Phelps of the Westboro 'God Hates Fags' Baptist Church... Click the link and enjoy!

Posted by mcblogger at 02:57 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 30, 2006

Kinky disses taxpayers and other bizarre things from today...

  • Kinky decided that today was the day to release his 'tax plan' which wasn't so much a 'tax plan' as it was a handout from the state from one group to another group of taxpayers. Texas currently has a surplus of $4.3 billion at the STATE level. State taxes include the cigarette tax, vehicle registration and (everyone's favorite) taxes on gasoline just to name a few. You may have noticed that PROPERTY TAXES aren't in that group. That's because those are collected and set by LOCAL governments, not the State. As Tom Dynia over at KABBlog points out, Kinky wants to give a massive amount of money to property tax owners as a 'rebate' on money they never paid.

    Let's forget for a moment that it does nothing for CHIP or public education. Let's just focus on the fact that when you rebate taxes, it's always best to pay the rebate to people who actually, you know, PAID THE FUCKING TAXES.

  • A friend sent me a bizarre invite for a birthday party...
    Friends of Homer the Homeless Goose would be honored by your presence at
    Homer’s 18th Birthday Bash
    Saturday. April 1st
    2:00 —4:00 pm
    Town Lake at Auditorium Shores

    Click here to find out more about Homer. I won't be going (I didn't see the words FREE and BAR on the invite, did you?) so if you do... well, you're kind of a tard. Just for illustrative purposes, here's a pic of Homer with some dirty hippy.
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  • On Tuesday, Conversations with Michael Eisner premiered to an audience of 95,000. Not 95,000 households, mind you. 95,000 PEOPLE. Good show, Mikey.

    His inaugural guest was Martha Stewart, who I'd love to see interviewed by someone who doesn't understand the concept of 250 threadcount (or greater) bed linens. Seriously, I'm a HUGE fan of grossly uncomfortable situations and the image of Martha having to sit and talk to someone who probably has a can of SPAM in their pantry is (at least to me) very funny in that 'Oh-I-Just-Ran-Over-Your-Kid's-Cat-And-You-Saw-Me-Sorry-About-That' kind of way.

  • I don't remember how this came to me today but click the link and tell me what you think about a product with this description
    Photodynamic ultrasonic skin softening, photodynamic ultrasonic fat dissolving and weight reducing, photodynamic galvanic skin tensioning, ultrasonic wave cosmetic shovel and skin cleaning, photodynamic galvanic introduction
  • Posted by mcblogger at 07:41 PM | Comments (447) | TrackBack

    March 03, 2006

    Amazing expression of religious tolerance, part 2349

    Did you even know a school could disown you?

    Brokeback Mountain actress Michelle Williams has been disowned by her former school because of her role in the controversial gay cowboy romance. Williams, who attended exclusive Santa Fe Christian School in San Diego, California, has been blasted by the school's headmaster as "offensive" for acting the long-suffering wife of a homosexual ranch hand, played by Heath Ledger. Jim Hopson has branded the Oscar nominee a poor role model, and hopes his education establishment won't be linked to the film's themes. He tells the San Diego Union Tribune, "We don't want to have anything to do with her in relation to that movie. Michelle doesn't represent the values of this institution. Brokeback Mountain basically promotes a lifestyle we don't promote."

    Of course, if I didn't want to have anything to do with the movie, I probably wouldn't be whining about it to the media. I guess that's why I'll never be headmaster of an exclusive fristian school.

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 12:52 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    January 17, 2006

    Dumb and Dumberer

    Which is really more stupid? Mayor Roy Nagin saying "New Orleans has always been a chocolate city" {Mmmmmm chocolate, although I remember it smelling like sewage and vomit) or Chris Matthews and TWO other white talking heads yammering about how shocked they are?

    We report, you decide.

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 07:02 PM

    January 12, 2006

    Fucking Crybaby...


    OK, so I know I'm a bit behind. Yesterday, in a very clearly staged event, Sammy Alito's wife broke into tears and had to leave the hearing room. Why do I say it was staged? Because it was a Republican questioning him AND THEY HAD RECENTLY REHEARSED THE ENTIRE EXCHANGE WITH HER IN THE ROOM.

    Fuck you and your tears, Martha-Ann. Why? Because you're completely avoiding any semblence of integrity and going for a cheap emotional response. Screw a bunch of shame, you're just a sad, fat cow.

    And that suit was AWFUL. Where did you get it? Stein Mart? Keep in mind things are there because no one wanted them.

    Posted by mcblogger at 08:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack