February 26, 2010

Carpetbaggers and NARCs Oh My

While the bloodletting in the Democratic primary this year hasn't gone much beyond treating Jan Patterson like a rented mule, the same isn't true on the GOP side. Getting the most attention of course is the Perry/Hutchison/Medina cage match for governor, but the ballot also includes a rather nasty race in HD 47. In Southwest Travis County Paul Workman and Holly Turner are duking it out to see which of them gets the chance to lose to Valinda Bolton this November.

Now I'll admit that for a while I really didn't pay much attention to this contest. In fact, when Holly Turner's 4x8's first started popping up, I thought they were advertising a new realtor, or maybe a cosmetologist, to judge from the vivid shade of lipstick on display. But then the mailers started landing.

Once again, I wasn't paying too much attention. After all, my voting history shows a pretty consistent turnout as a D, but I figured as long as the Republicans wanted to throw their money away they were welcome to do it. But as i carried them on the short journey from the mailbox to the recycling bin I did notice that both candidates seemed to be more concerned with sending some kind of message to Washington than they were about any Texas issues. Typical of these was this one from Turner, all wound up about her kid growing up in a land crushed by debt.


image descriptionNow I've blown up the box of terrifying financial numbers from the corner of that mailer so we can all cower in fear at the evil legacy-to-be of Comrade Obama and the Dummycrat Congress. (And if you can't trust the Heritage Foundation's take on this, who can you trust?} Next I'll pose a little civics-related question to the candidate: How much influence does a member of the Texas House have over the federal deficit or the national debt? Oooh, that would be zero.

Things got more interesting when Workman quit talking about how important Voter ID was and blasted Turner's residency status:


(Quick sidebar: how do we immediately know this is a republican mailer? That's right, both babies are white.)


Workman's contention is that Turner has lived for some time in Fort Worth and rented an apartment here for the sole purpose of running for office. Turner, however, claims on her website to be just a regular ol' local gal:

Holly was raised in the Hill Country and she shares our values: less government, lower taxes, and more individual freedom.

Now, it has been stated elsewhere (like that first mailer I posted) that "Holly Turner grew up 38 miles from here in Seguin, Texas." Umm, Holly, last time I was in Seguin, it struck me as being pretty flat. And in fact it looks like it was left off the list of places in the Hill Country.

(Poor thing. Not too clear on federalism, shaky on geography. I'm starting to understand that lipstick.)

But wait, there's more.

She believes that more people need to be taking care of themselves, not relying on the government. And that government needs to serve the people – not the other way around.

So government should serve the people, but people shouldn't expect anything from the government. Logic? Fugeddaboutit!

Yes, in case you're wondering, Holly Turner is a Tea Partier, at least if we can infer anything from the Meetup Groups she's joined. (Remember Meetup.com, the social networking juggernaut that propelled Howard Dean into the White House?) Well, bless her heart.

In case voters didn't get Workman's point, he sent out another blast a few days later touting his attack website www.hollydoesnotlivehere.com where he rolls out the C-Word...


Well, which C-Word were you expecting?

CARPETBAGGERS, if you'll remember from history class, were the Northerners who came down to the South around the end of the American Civil War. Their sole purpose was to hoodwink the Southerners — to take advantage, impose their ways and force themselves into political power.

If you've done any reading since history class about Reconstruction, you might have come across the interesting fact that one other thing those hoodwinking carpetbaggers did, as part of taking advantage, imposing their ways and forcing themselves into political power, was help found the Texas Republican Party... whose nomination Mr. Workman now seeks.

The latest to hit my mailbox has come not from Holly Turner per se, but rather on her behalf...


(We know this will be trustworthy because would a bald eagle lie?)

image descriptionThat's right, folks, Paul Workman is NOT (cue creepy music) A Real Conservative because in the past he has donated to "ultra left wing liberals" like Dawnna Dukes and Pete Laney. No wonder the tea party-inspired Conservatives In Action PAC of Terrell, Texas has the vapors.

(Just a damn minute... Terrell? More carpetbaggers? Bubba, lemme git ma shotgun!)

Will there be more salvos in this mail bombardment? Still a few to go before Election Day. Kepp 'em coming, folks, keep 'em coming.


image descriptionPlease Mister Postman look and see

If there's a mailer on the truck for me

What should come today but a rejoinder from Holly Turner, repeating the same shocking accusations as her Terrell carpetbagger amigos.Workman funds the campaigns of Travis County's most liberal Democrats!

image descriptionTravis County liberals like... Kirk Watson... Mina Brees... Dawnna Dukes... Pete Laney... John Sharp... Patrick Rose... Uhhh Holly? Pete Laney? Patrick Rose? They're not from Travis County. And honestly, they're not all that liberal. Geography, civics, logic: Holly's trifecta of Fail.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 03:49 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 25, 2010

Sometimes a Cigar is Just a Cigar...

And sometimes it's a signal for all-out Obama Derangement Syndrome, toe to toe with the Moonies.

image descriptionIt seems the latest thing to get rightwing panties all in a bind is the new logo for the Missile Defense Agency. The knuckledragger crowd detects traces of the sinister Obama logo, the sinister Islamic crescent and moon emblem, and the sinister Iranian Space Agency logo. All of which led Frank Gaffney, who passed for a strategic thinker during the Reagan years and later accused Grover Norquist of being soft on Islam to whine...

Team Obama is behaving in a way that — as the new MDA logo suggests — is all about accommodating that ‘Islamic Republic’ and its ever-more aggressive stance.

Me, I think it looks like the sinister Starfleet logo.

Be that as it may, if this is what's coming from the Big Brains on the Right, what could the rank and file loonies be saying? Luckily, we don't have to wonder, all we have to do is check the comments in the Washington Times.


This looks very similar to the flag of the former Soviet Union. I wonder what type of message we are sending.

You may be on to something there, Wendy. Except for the Soviet banner being red cloth with a hammer and sickle, there's hardly any difference. And what message are we sending? Perhaps that publicly funded mental health care is desperately needed in this country?


Why was this even made? Why are BOTH logos being left on the site? Maybe one to be used when shown among his Muslim friends, and one for the stupid unsuspecting American public who voted for their own demise? So many little signals that mean "nothing". Right. And we don't have terrorist training camps hiding all over the country, either. 'Course not.

First they came for the paranoid flagwavers, and I said nothing.


I certainly didn't vote for this Worthless Excuse of a President and until he shows a long form BC, he will not be my president ever! Obama and his Legion of Demons are America's Greatest Enemy! November, People! End the Legion of Demons Reign!

Paging Doctor Taitz. Paging Doctor Taitz.

I swear, if Jeff Foxworthy ever wants to reinvent himself as a political humorist he could change his tagline to "You might be a batshit insane wingnut if..."

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 07:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 24, 2010

Queen of the Birthers Asks UN Help

Orly Taitz, well-known dentist/constitutional scholar, has appealed to the United Nations for protection from death threats, vandalism, false complaints, and forced enrollment in a proper application of cosmetics class. Her attorney says she is being persecuted for her relentless efforts to disprove the citizenship of Comrade Obama.

Ms Taitz requested the Black Helicopters come to her rescue after Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus rejected her plea for political asylum.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 03:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

We need Linda for Lieutenant Governor

Now that many of us have withdrawn to our snuggies hand-wringing about the plight of our Democratic elected officials and President Obama, and whining about those mean old lying Republicans, it’s time to snap out of it and meet the candidate to get us off our ass and do something.

Because she already strongly represents the democratic core, this appeal is for those
working class whites, described a generation ago as Reagan Democrats, who are looking for someone who’s lived the life and understands their needs. Here is your candidate!

Linda Chavez-Thompson

For the rank and file who have the gnawing feeling that working people are getting short shafted, but peer pressure kept you from voting for someone who shares your values – here is your candidate.

For all the disrespect you and your family have taken over the years from the man – here is your candidate.

For all the women who had to endure abusive, sexist louts in the work place – here is your candidate.

For all of you fed up with lobbyist, corporations, developers, and bankers telling your state government what to do – here is your candidate.

For all you worker bees with stagnant wages and disappearing benefits, provided you still have a job – here is your candidate.

So if you think it’s time for someone to do something for you, vote Linda Chavez-Thompson.

Posted by Captain Kroc at 07:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 23, 2010

I Guess It's Time We Endorsed Someone For Governor

It's Bill White.


Texas Democrats have long needed a candidate at the top of the ticket who combines real political skills with the ability to raise serious amounts of money. Bill White is such a candidate. He has been running a positive campaign, talking about the real needs our state faces. Hopefully he can continue in that vein through November and then implement those plans, working with the Legislature next session.

Mr White's one serious primary opponent, Farouk Shami has demonstrated little knowledge of how politics actually works or what powers the governor has. All he has really brought to the table is an open checkbook. Unfortunately for his campaign, even piles of cash can't compensate when the candidate would be better suited for President of Freedonia.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 11:45 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 21, 2010

Roundin' Up The TPA

Justin at Asian American Action Fund Blog notes that Houston is the first locale President Obama named in his Lunar New Year Greeting. Could there be a political meaning behind it?

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme marvels at the jackassery presented to voters on the Republican ballot. No, we're not talking about the candidates. It's the propositions that disenfranchise voters, turn Texas into Colorado Springs or California, and humiliate pregnant women.

Fake Consultant, over at TexasKaos, gives us a tale from the health care frontier. He points out that even in the little things the present system is fundamentally broken. Check it out here.

From TXsharon: How Oil and Gas industry bullies turned an ordinary, honest man into a modern day hero. Read it on Bluedaze: DRILLING REFORM FOR TEXAS.

WhosPlayin is watching candidates file for the 2010 Lewisville ISD School board election.

Contrary to what the Star Telegram keeps repeating, the Texas Cloverleaf reminds everyone that there is a Democrat running in CD-26.

"Why I'm supporting Dr. Alma Aguado for Texas governor" is PDiddie's endorsement in the Democratic gubernatorial primary. Read more at Brains and Eggs.

MeanRachel endorses Bill White and Linda Chavez-Thompson in the two top spots on the Democratic primary ticket.

Adam at Three Wise Men lays out our blog's endorsements for the 2010 Texas Democratic Primary.

Off the Kuff says there's a smart way to do budget cuts and a dumb way to do budget cuts, and we need to do it the smart way.

Neil at Texas Liberal endorsed Hank Gilbert in the Democratic Primary for Texas Commissioner of Agriculture. The post includes a picture of a Longhorn steer, a watermelon, and of a Channel Catfish.

WCNews at Eye On Williamson posts on the coming budget woes and that we can't balance the budget on the back of the poor again, the 2011 budget cannot be balanced like in 2003, not this time.

This week at McBlogger, Mojito takes a look at a Travis County JP race and find the challenger lacking.

Posted by mcblogger at 12:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Satan shot, Haig says he's in control

Just as well could have been the headline from March 30,1981

Al Haig December 2,1924-February 20,2010

Don't worry, he'll have plenty of company

Posted by Captain Kroc at 09:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 20, 2010

Too soon?

In a bizarre twist of illogic, Alex Jones declares that the plane crash in Austin was a conspiracy, and the fighter jets scrambled from Houston after the crash were actually near the Echelon Building the same time that Joseph Stack supposedly slammed his plane into the building.

Using top secret stealth and video projection technology, the military was able to project a false image of the plane and its’ path. Video obtained by Jones from the grandson of the Babushka Lady indicate steam vapors from missiles fired from a location less than a mile away.

Jones’ undercover operatives inside the federal government tell him that Stack was really a former ACORN member and community organizer from Chicago who had secret meetings with William Ayers in the late ‘70’s. Soon after, a teenage boy was smuggled into this country from the Soviet Union, given plastic surgery, and replaced a boy who was known as Barack HUSSEIN Obama. The smuggled boy is reported to be the son of Fidel Castro, Malcolm X, and Mao Tse-tung.

When asked why Obama would order such a diabolical act, Jones said, “Isn’t he a Bilderberger?”

We come not to demonize Alex, but to ridicule him. Think of us as critics of third-rate entertainment that now passes through our airwaves.

All kidding aside, Stack was a troubled soul whose inner demons prevented him from accepting blame for his failures, and kept him from working out his problems with rationale.

Even though he had this enormous beef with a monolithic entity, did he ever realize that his targets were regular people just doing their jobs and who have to deal with family squabbles, bills, traffic, and all the other trials and tribulations of living? He leaves a family who will have to live with this stigma for the rest of their lives

While Stack might have suffered from mental instability, rage, and a serious lack of self-monitoring, what also goes way beyond the pale are the people who hold him up as a martyr, and go to such lengths as creating a fan club for him on facebook. These people are ignorant, and just downright deplorable to glorify such action.

May God have mercy on their souls.

Posted by Captain Kroc at 05:34 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Endorsement : Commissioner of Agriculture

Nothing better explains the rationale for our endorsement of Hank Gilbert over Kinky Friedman than two of Friedman's recent screw ups...

When he reaches the General Election in November, Friedman plans to pull a skeleton out of Staples’ closet that he hopes will serve as the incumbent’s death knell.

“Not many people are aware that Todd Staples wrote the original bill for the Trans-Texas Corridor in the Texas Senate in 2005,” he revealed. "How’s that going to sit with the voters when that comes out?”BCC

Actually, the bill was HB 3588. Staples wasn't the author, FORMER Rep. Mike Krusee was but Staples was on the Senate Committee (as the chair) that sent it to the floor. He also voted for it. And it was 2003, not 2005. Hank knows all this because this was the bill that created the legal framework for the TTC and CDA's. He's been fighting it for years while Kinky has been MIA.

Then there's this. Hank would have landed this attack because he not only knows what really happened, he knows exactly where Staples screwed up. Take, for instance, his decision to take on Staples over cutting the TDA budget for meals provided to the elderly and disabled or his decision to hit Staples for joining AG Abbott and 39% on their ridiculous suit against the EPA, a key point of which the state climatologist affirmed. When Hank throws a punch, it lands and breaks teeth.

The reality is that you have to know something about the office not only to run it, but to win it. Hank does. Which reminds of me Kinky's ridiculous assertion that he'll just hire experts and get out of the way (who does that remind you of) which naturally begs the question... if Hank can do the job with out all these extra people, why the hell do we need Kinky?

Of course, I'm not the only one seeing this. There's more here, here and BOR has their endorsement along with a number of the reasons why Kinky is just unacceptable.

Posted by mcblogger at 11:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 19, 2010

Tiger Woods : My thoughts

This has to be the worst press conference I've ever seen and he's hella lame... why not just come out and say "yeah, I got my dick sucked. You're just mad because you didn't'.

Things I didn't know...

1) Tiger is Buddhist. That's going to sit well with the evangelicals

2) Tiger has been at a treatment facility... for having an affair. WTF?!?!

3) Someone accused Tiger of being on 'performance enhancing drugs'. Anyone got a clue which drugs enhance your performance when playing golf? Aside from Coors Light?

4) "I hope one day you'll believe in me again." UGH... did anyone REALLY believe in Tiger Woods?

At the very least, I'm thrilled the wife wasn't up there with him... really happy we don't have yet another damn picture of 'the little woman standing by her man'. Personally, I LOVED that she went after him.

Posted by mcblogger at 11:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Further Thoughts On Joe The Terrorist

1. His "manifesto" would have been a lot more entertaining if he had posted it in the form of one of those funny "Hitler learns that time spent feeling sorry for himself is not deductible" videos on YouTube.

2. One of the many grievances he held is that for a short time after 9/11, all aircraft in the US were grounded. Ummm, Joe? The idea was the government thought it would be a bad idea if more people crashed planes into buildings. Way to miss the point, dickhead!

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 06:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 18, 2010

So, Who Was This Douchebag?

Of course, this story is still breaking news, but it appears that Joseph Andrew Stack, the man who apparently crashed a small plane into a North Austin office building housing, among other tenants, the IRS, was one of those lunatics who spent considerable time and effort looking for "loopholes" in the law and convinced himself that he was exempt from paying taxes. He posted a rambling manifesto attempting to justify his twisted reasoning that read like Alex Jones dissecting the global conspiracy that screwed up his order at Starbucks. In the days to come some may try to understand, sympathize with, even justify the actions of this arsonist, this murderer, this terrorist. I won't be one of them. Fuck you Joe, and fuck the enablers and ideologues of our domestic terror movement.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 02:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Ugh, the mail...

There is literally nothing I love about primary season. For one thing, it's a chance for some asshat wannabe to run for office and screw around with the candidate who can actually, you know, WIN IN NOVEMBER. But what I REALLY hate, with the heat and intensity of the accretion disk of a black hole, about primaries are the mailers. Seriously, I get it but could we please keep them to a postcard format? Do they really need to be the size of damn place setting? Case in point, the oversize piece of shit I got from Scott Field who is running for a seat on the Third Court of Appeals. When I first saw it, I glanced at the logo and the obligatory pic of him with the family in a field of bluebonnets (it do SCREAM Texas, don't it) and thought (no joke) 'Uh, moron... is anyone running against you? Why the hell are sending out mail in the primary?'

I then shoved it in my bag and pulled it out just now while searching for a credit card bill. This time I took a little more notice of it and realized two things.

1) Scott has a hella bad stupidcut. Scott, if you're listening, the lady who cuts my hair is Amy Tsai. You shoot me an email and I'll throw you her number.

2) SCOTT IS A REPUBLICAN. Running against Melissa Goodwin for the REPUBLICAN NOMINATION FOR THE SEAT. This jumped out at me because I'm not a Republican.

Seriously, Scott, whoever did your mail sucks ass. You spent money sending a campaign piece to a quad D. I would have crawled into Randalls yesterday on a leg that had just broken as the result of a tragic accident involving me, a dump truck and Charo to vote early in the Democratic Primary. Which brings me to the point of this little post... if you're a Republican within one of the counties that make up the Third Court of Appeals, VOTE FOR MELISSA GOODWIN. At least she wasn't dumb enough to send a damn mail piece to me.

Oh, and just FYI... Kurt Kuhn is going to win this seat. You may as well give up now.

Posted by mcblogger at 09:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 17, 2010

Bottom of the Ballot Blues

Like the muddled mint leaves at the bottom of a mojito, the races at the bottom of the ballot can be the thing that makes the drink great, or just pulp. So, a few recommendations from the bartenders here:

Justice of the Peace, Precinct 5
I can't believe I'm even writing this. Herb Evans is the man for the job. I don't know why he would want such a thankless and under-appreciated position, but he does, and I'm grateful for it. He's been there since 2000, he's campaigned for it every cycle he's been up for election, and he works his tail off registering voters all the damn time, for the good of the people of Travis County.
His opponent is an opportunistic douche who is only running to be contrary. Just think of the hooker I could have leased with the $300 this guy pissed away on the filing fee... What a waste.

Chair, Precinct 259
It's a sorry day in the neighborhood when you have to issue an endorsement in a frakkin precinct chair race. Especially when the opponents are incumbent Reuben Leslie, and activist Frank Ortega. I've seen both of these guys prattle on about things that alternately made me yawn or stare slack-jawed in horror. I've seen both of them rage against or about things that aren't really all that outrageous, and I get fatigued just thinking about the two of them going mano-a-mano.

The deal is, though, that Reuben has gone a little off the deep end with the Roberts Rules of Order freakiness. The County Executive Committee meetings have gone down the toilet since he got a bug up his butt about how things were being run, and the primary cause of agitation is the Chair of Pct. 259. Progress grinds to a halt and enthusiasm sputters when Reuben (once again) spouts off a Point of Order, or appeals to the body. I have NO DOUBT of his sincerity. I know he cares deeply about the Democratic Party. But I think he's so far into the minor details about the organization that he's unaware of how badly he is disrupting the whole process. I'm also a little worried that he's going to stroke out if he gets any more wound up.

Vote for Frank Ortega, people of Pct. 259. Try a slightly different flavor of teh crazy, and see if the CEC meetings get a little less tiresome.

Posted by Mojito at 10:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hank's spot on... as usual!

In response to the sideshow from the Three Stooges of Texas yesterday, Hank released this...

The announcement yesterday that Governor Perry, AG Abbott and Commissioner Staples have decided to waste taxpayer funds on a futile fight that was settled more than a year ago by the Supreme Court is more than unfortunate, it’s an inexcusable waste of money we don’t have since we are facing a budget, largely the responsibility of these men, that will be in deficit in the next biennium to the tune of $15-20 billion.

More than a year ago the US Supreme Court ruled that the EPA needed to regulate CO2 which makes this legal action a waste of taxpayer money on an election year stunt. The idea that this will somehow hurt Texas agriculture is a laughable one that only someone like Todd Staples could dream up. In point of fact, Texas stands to gain substantially from bioenergy production and refining. What’s been missing is a Commissioner of Agriculture who has the vision to see the future and prepare for it. Finally, to say that the EPA made its decision based solely on information from the IPCC is an outright lie, even bigger than the one Governor Perry told about people getting property tax relief and the story about the death of the TTC.

Texas needs leadership on this issue and this troika is instead providing ideological arguments on a scientific issue already settled by the courts.

Posted by mcblogger at 01:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 16, 2010

Too much of nothing

What's all this? I go offworld for a few days and come back to find NO ONE has updated the blog?

Well, while I'm unpacking I'll just say that I actually tried some of that Wanchai Ferry frozen Chinese food. You know, the stuff they advertise as "restaurant quality"? I'm not saying it was all that bad, but I don't think I'd go back to that restaurant.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 05:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 12, 2010

Good News, Everybody!

Despite the best efforts of Farouk Shami and Debra Medina, Texas is NOT the craziest state in the Union this week!

Carbon dioxide is "essentially harmless" to human beings and good for plants. So now will you stop worrying about global warming?

Utah's House of Representatives apparently has at least. Officially the most Republican state in America, its political masters have adopted a resolution condemning "climate alarmists", and disputing any scientific basis for global warming.

The measure, which passed by 56-17, has no legal force, though it was predictably claimed by climate change sceptics as a great victory in the wake of the controversy caused by a mistake over Himalayan glaciers in the UN's landmark report on global warming.

In the heat of the debate, the representative Mike Noel said environmentalists were part of a vast conspiracy to destroy the American way of life and control world population through forced sterilisation and abortion.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 01:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 11, 2010

Ag Comm Race : The Statesman vs. The DMN

We discussed the pathetic reporting out of the DMN Tuesday, but yesterday's mess was even worse. Jessica Myers, the intrepid reporter covering the Democratic primary race for Commissioner of Agriculture (and whose last beat was Frisco ISD, no joke), ain't the sharpest in the world. In fact, her irrational slant in the race (Friedman vs. Gilbert) has been surprising to many of us who were actually starting to like the DMN again. Here's the piece that caught my eye today...

"It should be an interesting and new experience for him to endorse a Democrat," said campaign adviser Mike Lavigne in the statement. He accused Friedman of previously endorsing Republicans George W. Bush, Lamar Smith and Kay Bailey Hutchison.

Actually, Jessica, it wasn't an accusation. It's documented fact, much like Kinky calling Katrina evacuees in Houston 'a bunch of crackdealers and thugs'. Be slanted all you want, the rest of us know the truth and understand that, on balance, you're not doing a great job even for a blogger.

Compare and contrast that with Asher Price at the Statesman.

Friedman says he has no plans to square off against Gilbert.

"My heart's not in an intramural battle between Democrats," said Friedman, who has won endorsements from former Democratic agriculture commissioner Jim Hightower and The Dallas Morning News.

Which, I suppose, is why his campaign sends out nasty, almost daily blasts about Hank.

But after running for governor as an independent in 2006, Friedman might have a hard time persuading most Democrats to vote for him.

"I don't think Kinky Friedman will ultimately be taken seriously because people do not seriously see him as agricultural commissioner," said Ed Martin, former director of the Texas Democratic Party, who said he is not working for either campaign.

Gilbert, a rancher, is "obviously qualified," said Martin, and Democrats have a "better opportunity (in the general election) with somebody who could seriously address the issues with the office."

Some Democrats want nothing to do with Friedman, who they say acted as a spoiler for Democratic candidate Chris Bell in 2006 and appears to be a self-promoter.

"He likes dogs more than he likes people in Kerr County," Marguerite Jones, an Austinite who lived in Kerr County, said at a confab of local Democrats at Scholz Garten in January. "He changes with the winds. He's a personality, but he's not a candidate. He's a character. He's not serious."

Gilbert said he's concentrating on a general election with Staples, who, he says "has trimmed down the agency till things are falling into cracks."

In one piece, the Statesman better captured this race than the DMN has with articles and almost daily blog posts. It all comes down to this... an incompetent comedian who is busy selling books, cigars and salsa vs a rancher who has spent his entire professional life in Agriculture. A non-Democrat running in the Democratic primary vs a life long Democrat. A man who will depress Democratic turnout in November vs a man with a proven track record of rallying Democrats and pulling in Independents and moderate Republicans, in every corner of the state.

That's the story. Only an asshat could miss it.

Posted by mcblogger at 11:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 10, 2010

I stand corrected

A couple of days ago I implied that a now-famous image from the Perry-Palin-Patrick Three Ring Cirque d'Insanity looked like a product of Photoshop.


Since then, other pictures showing the sign have emerged so it now seems that the photo is genuine.


This just leaves me with two lingering questions.

First, given that the teapartiers often make reference to Original Intent, what was the phrase on the sign actually meant to be? Homeschooler? Or Homescholar?

Second (and maybe most intriguing), does the person who made the sign know that they're responsible for creating an instantly classic image of wingnut stupidity?

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 10:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 09, 2010

An AWESOME day at the DMN

Kinky and Hank had an ed board interview at the DMN. As you can guess, fun was had by all...Here are some outtakes from a very flawed synopsis

Friedman balked when he arrived and heard Gilbert was attending. He said he had not been told of the joint session. Editorial board staff told him it was written in a letter he had received.

Not for nothing, but reading is Teh Cool. Letters, especially. Oh, but there's so much more...

His counterpart showed up half an hour late. This left Friedman time to talk about following the "Hightower model," throw in some jabs at Gov. Rick Perry and use his latest line, "putting the culture back in agriculture."

Gilbert said he was delayed because he was feeding his cattle enough to last the six days he would be on the road.

This would make Hank look bad except for the failure to mention one thing... the DMN moved up the meeting by 30 minutes. Oh, and he did call ahead.

This is the closest the two will come to a debate. Despite Gilbert's demands for one, Friedman's campaign says he doesn't have room in his schedule.

Oh, so that's the excuse this week? Last week, it was that Kinky thought no one cared. Which was really funny since four organizations across the state have asked for debates. Hank really likes the opportunity to show that, at least with him, you don't need additional help. Because he knows the job and the Department it heads.

"I would find an expert that had integrity and shut up and get out of the way to let him work," Friedman said.

Mook. We already have an asshat named Staples who has done that. We'd really rather elect someone who could just, you know, DO THE DAMN JOB. Oh, and what the reporter with the DMN left off was that the expert with integrity that Kinky would hire was Hank Gilbert. No shit. Again, why pay Kinky to do a job that Hank can do better?

Of course, the DMN released their endorsement of Kinky. Read it if you don't believe me. Here are some highlights...

Gilbert knows agriculture issues in vastly greater depth than Friedman, but he would lead Texas in the wrong direction in key areas. One is a move away from globalization and toward protectionism for farm products. He says he is not a big fan of crop subsidies, yet he thinks Congress caved to foreign nations that complained Washington was propping up U.S. producers too much.

Gilbert, 50, of Whitehouse, also opposes key parts of the state water plan. He would take the proposed Marvin Nichols Reservoir off the table as a possible water source for the burgeoning Dallas-Fort Worth area. He would bank on a less-certain strategy of shipping in water from other regions and building massive desalinization plants to purify brackish water.

Friedman, 65, of Austin, doesn't get into such details. He says he'd hire experts to hash out policy so he could concentrate on being a spokesman for family farms and kindness to animals. That's not a great model for the job, but a better one than Gilbert proposes.

Forget, for a moment, the mischaracterization of Hank's position on global trade (he's for FAIR not FREE trade... I think we can all agree that the effect of free trade has been detrimental on balance to this country as we've seen GDP go up and wage growth stagnate). The issue is Hank's opposition to impounding, under water, 72,000 acres of productive land in East Texas. And what the DMN failed to mention is that the water district that covers Dallas is the most wasteful in the state.

Hank's position, which he made clear, was to enhance conservation and begin building desalinization plants capable of producing the water that Texas needs. For one thing, desertification is becoming a problem in Texas and rainfall more and more erratic. In point of fact, reservoirs are just not going to cut it. We need a better solution and pressure exchange desalinization is very cheap and very easy. Who knows, maybe our good buddy on the Ed Board William McKenzie just hasn't been keeping up with changes in technology.

This is all extremely funny when you contrast this endorsement of Kinky with what they wrote in their endorsement of Todd Staples in 2006...

With 11 years in the Texas Legislature, GOP Sen. Todd Staples of Palestine knows Austin better than his Democratic opponent, Hank Gilbert, a knowledgeable and articulate rancher. Mr. Staples' familiarity with Austin makes him the better voice for Texas' farmers and ranchers. They deserve a commissioner who knows agriculture but can also navigate Austin.

I point this piece out because of one thing... navigating Austin. Hank learned how to do that as a private citizen and was instrumental in killing the TTC and road privatization, something Todd Staples supported. Which pissed the DMN off because they fell for the line that we absolutely had to have tolls, at least until Hank rolled out HIS transportation plan in the fall and showed that, no you don't have to have tolls.

But here's the part that really caught my eye...

Mr. Staples, 43, served on the Senate Natural Resources Committee, where he has helped set up groundwater districts to better manage aquifers. We'd like to see him actively overhaul the law that allows landowners to pump as much water as they like, but he's versed enough in water issues that he can help the state balance its growing water demands. By contrast, Mr. Gilbert seemed more skeptical about developing reservoirs that would help big cities like Dallas.

Mr. Gilbert, 46, also shuns the Trans-Texas Corridor, citing how much acreage it would take out of production. Mr. Staples is more realistic about the state needing to balance its transportation and agricultural demands.

He's got a better idea than reservoirs and, as in 2006, the DMN is turning a deaf ear. In 2006 they also said that Staples was more realistic on transportation issues and it turned out that no, Hank was the one who was right all along.

At least I'm not the only one puzzled by the endorsement...check here, here and here for starters. And check here for yet another endorsement of Hank.

Of course, what else should I expect from a paper that endorsed George W. Bush. Twice.

Yep, I'm working for Hank. And yes, the authors on McBlogger are unanimous in their support for him as well.

Posted by mcblogger at 01:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 08, 2010

Justice of the Douchebag

Ordinarily, I defend a person's right to run for office, no matter what. The nutjobs are usually nutty enough that they run for high-profile offices—Mayor, Governor, Senator, President—where you would expect candidates to have at least a little bit of name recognition. It makes the nutters easier to spot. The vetting process is sort of obvious when the minor players aren't invited to debates, aren't included in interviews or forum invitations, and generally have a campaign that doesn't focus on much more than "HEY, LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I also maintain that no one is owed their elected office. Incumbents should expect to be challenged at any time if they aren't doing their jobs, or do things that are Democratically Distasteful. I thought it was proper when Glen Maxey ran against Nelda Wells Spears for Tax Assessor/Collector. I thought it was proper for Brian Thompson to challenge Dawnna Dukes, and I'm supporting Amy Clark Meachum against Jan Patterson. I actually like that the Libertarians field candidates in every race, and I appreciate it when the Democratic candidates treat the Libertarians with respect. It speaks to our party's general attitude of "everybody is welcome."

That being said, Richard Glasheen is a douchebag.

Let me go into why I believe this. He's running at the bottom of the ballot, which gets precious little attention as it is. It makes it harder to spot the nutty. He's running against someone who is a stellar incumbent, and it's just sort of rude.

Herb Evans has been the Justice of the Peace for Precinct 5 since 2000. He's been an exemplary public servant, quietly going about his work and supporting Democratic causes all the while. He takes his job seriously, is effective, efficient, and a damned fine human being. I have watched him make impassioned speeches about the importance of voter registration (he is one of three people in Travis County outside of the TAC office who can deputize registrars). Even in the years when he had only Libertarian opposition, he campaigned for the office. He collects petition signatures in part to save himself some money in filing fees, but also because it lets him reach out to voters directly. This fall, he eschewed fundraising because the economy is down, and the other Democrats on the ballot needed the money more. I thought that was classy.

Then, on January 4th, Richard Glasheen filed to run against Herb in the March 2 primary. You are a douchebag when you walk in on the last day of filing, and your only questions are "What can I run for", and "Which race has the lowest filing fee?" Way to do some research. Way to make it look like you care about the office you're running for. Richard is not an attorney, and he does not need to be in order to qualify for Justice of the Peace. However, as the ONLY Justice Court that is entirely within the City of Austin, Precinct 5 has few cases that wouldn't benefit from having a trained legal mind behind the bench. Complex cases from the city, county, and state come through JP5, and someone who is a real estate broker by trade is going to have a massive learning curve ahead of him.

But Richard doesn't like lawyers. At all. He thinks that the Justice Courts have been taken over by lawyers, and that ordinary people need to take "The People's Court" back. Back from whom, exactly? Trained legal professionals who are invested in seeing that justice is done? Maybe that's not so bad, dude.

But what do I know, eh? I know I'm an ordinary person, and I'll be voting for Herb.

Posted by Mojito at 11:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Nugepocalypse: The Aftermath

Here's a short, somewhat snarky review of yesterday's Meeting of the Mindless in Houston town. The best part? That "Homescholers For Perry" sign doesn't look photoshopped at all.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 02:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Is That Media Bias In Your Pocket...?

FoxNewsBot Chris Wallace getting excited about interviewing the Palinator.

IMUS: When she…when you interview her, will she be sitting on your lap? [laughter]

WALLACE: One can only hope. [laughter]

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 08:47 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 04, 2010

Good News, Everybody!

You know, I'd been feeling kind of down since Comrade Obama admitted we no longer have what it takes to go to the Moon. But this makes up for all that. USA! USA! USA!

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 08:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Nuge...

Three of the most repulsive human beings currently walking the Earth will be hanging out together this Sunday which can only mean one thing...


Noted racist homophobe Ted Nugent will be performing at a rally in support of Sarah Palin who will be there to support 39% who will be there to represent the pitiable. 39% has even decided that Nugent deserved the following praise...

“Not only is Ted one of our nation’s greatest performers, but his dedication to upholding our nation’s Second Amendment rights has been crucial to maintaining the freedom we are able to enjoy as Americans every day,” said Gov. Perry. “I look forward to Ted’s performance, and to the opportunity to join both him and Sarah Palin in sharing the success story Texas has achieved through our state’s unwavering commitment to conservative values based on the belief in limited government and individual freedom.”

First off, how fucked up is it that 39% said this AFTER Nuge had already agreed to perform? I mean, we've all heard the rumors but could this be proof positive that 39% likes to suck cock? Second, is there anyone, anywhere, who seriously thinks that Ted Nugent is somehow responsible for the fact that our Canadian overlords haven't descended from the frigid north to wreck havoc and force us to say 'aboot' instead of 'about'?

Put your hand down, 39%.

In other Republican campaign news, Marvin Hamlisch will be performing at a North Dallas Luby's for Sen. Hutchison and Britney Spears will be performing (You Drive Me) Crazy, in a continuous loop for two hours, at a Plano area fundraiser for Debra Medina. After, they'll hold a panel discussion entitled "If it ain't in thar, ya cain't do it : A primer for morons on the US Constitution".

Posted by mcblogger at 11:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 03, 2010

Rep. Brady with the stupid...

It's always good that the Republican caucus gives even their c-team the chance to go out on the field. It's super big of them and, well, reminds us all that there's someone standing up for stupid in Congress.

Today, it was Representative Kevin Brady who was interviewed by Bloomberg and decided to throw President Obama, Democrats and their mutual puppetmasters, the ever evil Unions, for not creating jobs by not passing weak trade deals negotiated by the weakest of all possible weak sisters, President George W. Bush. In point of fact, any time you hear Kevin say something is good, do some research. Today, he thinks we should pass a trade agreement with South Korea, despite the fact that it opens US markets to their companies far more than it opens their markets to our companies.

Kevin thinks we should pass it anyway since it would give us access to their markets (which people smarter than Kevin say won't happen) and made some demonstrably false claim about the Europeans selling stuff in S Korea like it was going out of style. Which they really aren't. He completely glossed over the fact that S Korea has a long, rich history of dumping products from cars to memory chips in the United States, bankrupting our manufacturers, and engaging in the kind of currency manipulation that would make a money launderer blush.

Of course I'm not the only one saying this is a piss poor deal...

A high-ranking Korean official recently admitted to me that the conclusion of the free trade deal between the U.S. and Korea would not result in any significant increase in U.S. exports to Korea.

Some are warning that the recent conclusion of a free-trade deal between the European Union and Korea will put the U.S. at a disadvantage in the Korean market. I'm not very worried about this. The Europeans are unlikely to gain much benefit from the deal and I'd be willing to bet that Korean exports to the EU will climb much more rapidly than EU exports to Korea.

Kevin, bubba, boneheaded decisions like this will put this entire country in the crapper. You're so willing to score cheap political points, you'll sell out your own constituents to do it. That's pretty fucking shameful.

Of course, if you really meant what you said then you need to resign from Congress. You're clearly too goddamn stupid to be there and Americans can't afford to have you running around fucking up the economy which is what your opinions and ideas will do.

Posted by mcblogger at 04:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Democratic base vote and Kinky Friedman

Just a quick note... Yesterday on KRLD in Dallas, Kinky decided to hold forth on his views of the office he seeks, His Highness, Commissioner of Agriculture which is apparently not accountable to the Legislature or anyone else once elected. And can set up animal shelters (which another agency controls). And can dictate that Luby's must extend their dinner service to 10 pm, even if all their patrons are cleared out by 6:30.

The interview was little more than a careening mess with Friedman clearly not cognizant that the position really involves more than just name dropping and asking Hightower what he'd do. And, of course, it gave Friedman a chance to misrepresent the DMN for calling him the safe, sane choice (which they did, but only when it comes to driving habits. We think they should check that driving record... someone told me he too doesn't like wearing his seatbelt. And neither does Staples).

But what really got me what was him dropping out there that he'll increase Democratic vote by 7%, according to a good pollster. Which is cool except for one thing... now one knows how much of the Democratic electorate, made up of a large number of the same racial minorities Kinky has used for his insipid comedy routine for years, will decide to come out because he's on the ballot.

On the other side, is Hank Gilbert. He can actually say he's done what Kinky claims he can do. He pulled 7% over the Democratic base vote in 2006 and he's only gotten stronger with Independents and moderate Republicans since through his work to kill the TTC. And, as an added bonus, he doesn't anger the Democratic base.

But, let's look at the numbers. Kinky, in 2006, spent millions to poll 12%. Hank spent just over $100k and proved he could bring in Independent and Republican voters by exceeding the Democratic base vote by 7%. And he doesn't piss off people, like Kinky does.

So much for the case of Kinky bringing in Democratic voters in the general. What's abundantly clear is that every Democrat in a competitive race this year better keep their fingers crossed for Hank.

Posted by mcblogger at 12:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

KBH Circling the Drain?

BOR notes (as do many others) that Kay Bailey Hutchison is losing ground in her race to win the TexGOP goobernatorial nod from Governor For Life Rick Perry. Most interesting is that Senator Aging Barbie seems to be shedding likely voters to Calhounatic fruitcake Debra Medina, the sweetheart of the Ron Paul crowd. Guess it's a good thing Kay didn't quit her day job.

Especially lucky are Texas Democrats, since if KBH had resigned her US Senate seat Bill White would still be running against John Sharp and a potential cast of thousands to replace her and the leading contenders going into Monday's Democratic debate could well have been Farouk Shami and Kinky Friedman. While that matchup might not have been lacking in entertainment value, it would have been a gruesome scenario for the TDP, still struggling for relevance after a decade and a half in the statewide political wilderness. Probably not entertaining enough, though, for San Antonio TV station KSAT to have shown it live, bumping The Bachelor.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 11:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 02, 2010

Aw Jeez

UT Jefe Bill "Leatherface" Powers sees shadow, decrees six more weeks of whining about demise of Cactus Cafe.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 02:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Gee, Ken, you seem to have missed something

Ken Herman, being the remarkably astute commentator that he wants everyone to think he is, has come across something that is, well, truly shocking.





I know this revelation may come as a shock to people who aren't over the age of 6, but to the rest of us it's kinda par for the course. Ken, being enterprising, made it the meat of an entire column. And even used a quote from yours truly. What he left out were some even juicier quotes from a guy who recently went to work for someone he spent time criticizing. So, in an effort to help Ken out, here's some of the funny...

“Jason Stanford, spokesman for Democrat Chris Bell's campaign, is not impressed – and he doesn't think voters are either. "I haven't heard anyone saying he'd be a great governor," he says. "I think that he's a funny candidate and a hell of an author, but no one comes up [to me] and says, 'If we could only get Kinky Friedman into the governor's office.'" GOP strategist Miller says that Friedman will certainly attract welcome extra attention to the race but agrees that he's facing an uphill battle. "Initially, my view was that Kinky Friedman [would be] treated with humor, and treated lightly, unless and until he gets traction," he says. And Friedman's unlikely to get any traction the way he's campaigning now, says Stanford. "He hasn't gone any farther than to say, 'Hey, look at this!'" he says. In short, he says, Friedman is long on one-liners and short on any meaningful policy positions. "The easy part is convincing people [that Perry has] done a bad job," he says. "Step two is that you've got to convince voters that you know how to do better. And no one is really expecting that from Kinky Friedman."” Austin Chronicle

So he was incompetent then, but now he's suddenly competent? Any chance that change, which only you perceive, is because he's now writing you a check?

Bell campaign consultant Jason Stanford shakes off his candidate's failed run against Perry, muddied as the field was by the populist independent campaigns of Kinky Friedman and Carole Keeton Stray­horn. "There was a pervasive confusion about that race, but the issue was simple: If Dem­o­crats had voted for the Dem­o­crat, Chris Bell would be the governor," he argued. Austin Chronicle

So Kinky's to blame for Bell's loss? Or the voters?

Ken doesn't get into any of that which, in my opinion, is far more interesting. He also doesn't ask why Kinky's acting like he's never asked Farouk for money, even after he took more than $1.3 million through 2009 from Farouk and his business partner. He does ask why Shami would care about the race for Commissioner of Agriculture since he's a hair magnate. I guess Ken missed that Shami owns three ranches where he grows produce (olives, for one) that's used in the CHI organic line. Maybe that's why he's got an interest in supporting a competent candidate this time around.

Life's full of entirely too much, well, crap. Why is it so surprising to some that even the deadliest of political enemies can forge alliances once they realize they actually have a lot in common? Just look at Bob Bullock vs. everyone else at one time or another.

Posted by mcblogger at 10:57 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 01, 2010

First Obama bombs the Moon, now he decides it isn't worth returning there

Interesting how he came to a different conclusion about Afghanistan.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 04:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack