September 30, 2009

Congress, Turkey Death, and Other Disasters

So, apparently this is a blog that leans toward the political. WHO KNEW ? All that shit about my house and my dogs and my life in yokels-ville? Holy Tap Dancing Jeebus. My BAD dudes. OK, I'm game...let's give the politics thing a go.

First things first: "Politicians always disappoint." Looking at you, Max Baucus.

This is the thang, homeslice ... health insurance reform without a public option is a limp dick. It don't work. See, you got these turds in Congress (I'm giving Alan Grayson a pass today...he gets to be Rep. Not Turd, from the great state of Maybe Not So Retarded After All If They Elected Him But I'm Keeping My Eye On You And If You Don't Watch Your Ass Maybe Those Death Panels Were For Reals, Gramps) who want to keep their "jobs," keep getting blown by and/or blowing interns, and keep getting those invites to that big ol' white mansion on Pennsylvania. In order to keep aforementioned "jobs," they've occasionally gotta suck it up and actually do some work, maybe even pass a bill that does a little good for Wayne and Connie back in the district, ya feel me?

Only, the trump card holders here ain't no fucking Wayne and Connie--they're the pissant little insurance company lobbyists who got Congressman Turd and his homies those "jobs," with the fancy-pants office and the Colonial in the 'burbs and the driver and the car and the pages and the bowing and scraping sycophants and the press releases and the junkets and the meet n' greet with Brad Pitt and Bono and the ...

...Sigh. God damn, this is just depressing.

Fuck it.

Wanna hear what happened to my mail box?

See, I have this dog. Ha! "Those god damned dogs again!" is what you're thinking, am I right? Bing-the fuck-O! Yeah, OK, so dog #6...previously referred to as Wild Ass Barking Frenzy, also known as Bug-Eyed Barney. The little shit weighs all of 30 pounds and is a good 20 pounds lighter than the smallest of the other five little shits that run the joint. Also, the only penis in the whole bunch, and he swings that mofo with pride. "Yeah, bitches...GET out my way! I'll be having that chunk o' cheddar there on the floor...Why? WHY? Got a PENIS, man. Got a penis." Dude never cops to the fact that he's got no balls, but that's another story.

So, because he's such a tiny little fucker, you wouldn't think he'd be a badass. Especially without the balls and all. Only, here's the thing: he's a badass. True story: I'm sitting in the house one day, doing what I do, when I figured I'd better check on the Penis Swinger because he's being just a little bit too quiet, dig? I looked out the window, and there's Penis out in the yard with a white blob of some kind parked beside him. And the blob is twitching. Did you get that part, homies? Twitching. I'm not partial to investigating twitching white blobs, so I sent Krispy Dude out on a twitching-blob investigative mission.

And Krispy Dude reported back: "It's a turkey. And he's not dead. But he's almost dead. But he's not dead. But almost." A fucking WHAT? "A turkey." Holy Mother of We're Gonna Get Our Asses Sued God...our next door neighbor raises turkeys. Only now, he's raising one fewer turkey, because one of his turkeys is not dead, but is almost dead. Krispy Dude and I racked our brains and tried to wrap our heads around how this 30 pound cheddar-eating penis swinger managed to pull a 15-pound turkey through the bars of an iron fence and kill it. Sorry...ALMOST kill it. Our brains were racked and our heads were wrapped to no avail, and screw it anyway, because the issue now is "what are we gonna do with a fucking almost-dead turkey?"

And Krispy Dude..."What's So Funny 'Bout Peace, Love, and Understanding" Krispy Dude...finally accepted the inevitability of The Ax. The Penis Swinger was relieved of his booty, the Dude hauled the almost-dead twitching white blob to the back yard, and after a long pause, the whack echoed across the land, tears were shed, and Mother Nature shuddered in horror. Or maybe I just imagined that part. And then phone calls were placed, confessions were issued, apologies were made, monies were offered, monies were refused, chuckles and turkey memories were shared all around, and life goes on. (Except for the turkey. Who was now fully and completely dead.)

And you're thinking, "Wasn't this supposed to be about a mail box?" Yeah. See, months later, long after The Unfortunate Incident With the Large Fowl, some Opie in a Ford F-150 decided to practice his Indy skills and lost it on the outside curve, taking out our mail box. And fuckers, I DO NOT MEAN that he bumped it and it fell down. This ...this was a fucking Postal Explosion. After surveying the scattered bits left after the "Mailstrom" (ha ha...get it?), there were fleeting thoughts of Ted Kaczynski, worries about the Large Hadron Collider going rogue, and a brief flirtation with the certainty that the damage was caused by those shrimpy-looking fuckers with the DNA-activated guns in "District 9."

Because the dealio here is, I didn't actually hear or see Opie blast the Batmobile through my yard and reduce my mailbox to metal shavings and particulate--my mailbox is a god-damned day's hike from the house and can only be seen clearly with bi-nox from the upper story of the house. No, no. I didn't find out about the god damned postal massacre until I heard The Penis go into a patented and much admired Wild Ass Barking Frenzy and I looked out the window. And I saw something in the distance, near where the mailbox USED to be and where, at that point, I assumed it still WAS, and where The Penis was stationed, alerting the county and surrounding environs to the disaster that had occurred.

This "something" that I saw made my blood run cold and my buttocks clench like I was an Acorn employee about to interview a pimp and his ho. This "something" that I saw turned out later to be pieces of mail, fluttering and wafting around in the breeze--letters, bills, magazines, catalogs, and an offer to save my soul, courtesy The Lil' Church of Ain't No Socialists Here!...but Mo-ther Fuck! ...that first look out the window in the distance--that oh, so stomach lurching vision-- looking out, all I could see was the fence, The Penis, and five, six, ten, twelve...twitching white blobs.

Posted by Krispy_Kreme at 10:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Talk, bluster and bullshit : Right wing cowardice shows up in force

Media Matters put out this today regarding the virulent right wing press (blogs, print and broadcast) who are all talking about revolution and military coups against the President and the Government. Here's a representative sample of what has them so upset...

Will the day come when patriotic general and flag officers sit down with the president, or with those who control him, and work out the national equivalent of a "family intervention," with some form of limited, shared responsibility?

Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution through an interim administration that would do the serious business of governing and defending the nation. Skilled, military-trained, nation-builders would replace accountability-challenged, radical-left commissars. Having bonded with his twin teleprompters, the president would be detailed for ceremonial speech-making.

Military intervention is what Obama's exponentially accelerating agenda for "fundamental change" toward a Marxist state is inviting upon America. A coup is not an ideal option, but Obama's radical ideal is not acceptable or reversible. [, 9/29/09]

Let's move past the fact that the majority of the brass is Democratic or democratic leaning... by an overwhelming number, they are almost uniform in their support for civilian control of the military and it's Constitutional basis. Needless to say, this is stupid wishful thinking. The comedy here is that these very same generals would lead the fight against domestic terrorists bent on the overthrow of the US. Here's another sampling, this time from Michael Savage...

Let me talk specifically. The white male in particular -- the one without connections, the one without money -- has nothing to lose, and you haven't seen him yet. You haven't seen him explode in this country, and he's still a majority, by the way. In case you don't know it. He is still the majority. No one speaks for him. Everyone craps on him. People use him for cannon fodder. And he has no voice whatsoever. He has nobody speaking for him.

So he goes to these extreme fighting events. Take a look at them, and you'll see what the white male is capable of. And you're going to find out that if you keep pushing this country around, you'll find out that there's an ugly side to the white male that has been suppressed for probably 30 years right now, but it really has never gone away.[Talk Radio Network's The Savage Nation, 8/21/09]

Actually, no. Aside from the occasional maladjusted buttplug with a gun, an itchy trigger finger and a grudge, none of these folks are going to do a damn thing. Because they're too busy watching the next UFC match on SPIKE. Oh, sure, much like their leaders Beck and Savage (the human equivalent of the action of a dog vomiting, with apologies to Barfly), they'll moan and whine, but they won't do a fucking thing. Because they're stupid, lazy and cowardly. Just like their media leaders. These people are whiners... about their jobs, their lives and their tiny dicks. They're so soft they wouldn't have a chance in a real totalitarian state. They'd give up any amount of freedom for a lifetime porn channel subscription, a supply of Pepsi and some fried chicken.

Growing up in East Texas, when someone got mouthy they usually got punched. I'm offering, on behalf of the country, to do that to these windbags. Same with you Chuck Norris, though I'm sure your training and experience will probably kick my ass... but I promise you, it'll be fight you'll never forget and I will make you bleed. I promise, Chuck Norris, that at the very least I'll beat enough sense into that you'll stop talking about being 'the President of Texas'.

Seriously, come on bitches. You're so goddamn tough, come on to town and let's throw down.

Posted by mcblogger at 01:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

40k? For that jackass?

So, the nasty old lady who refused to cooperate with a Travis County Constable is suing the county for her pain and suffering. Here's the footage...

The old bitch WAS being argumentative and belligerent. The officer was trying to ARREST her, she resisted and rather than break her hip or arm in what was clearly going to become a physical confrontation, he tased her. Not excessively or abusively. This is one of those instances where the whole thing was completely justified and the officer wasn't even being a dick which, for those of us who get to regularly see officers in our rear view, it was kind of unusual for Austin which is populated with a lot of dicks in law enforcement. Seriously, some of you guys need to dial down the aggression.

But back to Granny I'm-Getting-Back-In-My-Car ... the Travis County Commissioner's Court is giving her $40k? NO FUCKING WAY. Do not give this freakshow a dime and let her deal with the charges pending.

Come on, Commissioners!

Posted by mcblogger at 09:57 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 29, 2009

I'll admit it... it was me...

PhotobucketYes, it's true. It was me. I was the one who screwed up 39%'s little webcast event that Jason Embry was jerking off about this AM (by the way, that was some solid work, Jason... who did you have to give the hummer for that hard hitting piece).

I'm just kidding, I don't have the technical skill to screw up something like that. I wouldn't have bothered even if I did because it would have denied 39% a chance to spout stupid to the few true believers he still has under his spell. Plus, until we're done with the primary, I want him nice and plump.

Before I start to bust him up like a shit-filled pinata.

Phillip over at BOR has been doing an excellent job ripping into the epic failure that was Talkin' Texas. Basically, it all comes down to 39%'s lackluster team being thoroughly jacked up. Read more here, here and here. My favorite part is how 22,000 got to watch a speech before it was given. It's almost as funny as the obviousness of this as 39%'s fuckup, not some hacker being mean.

Pull up your big girl panties, 39% and quit whining.

As for Senator Senile, just keep your crazy old trap shut. No one gives a crap what you think about all this mostly because you keep talking about your cat. And your car keys.

And no, Senator, I don't want a quarter to rub your feet.

In other MASSIVE 39% CAMPAIGN FAILURES, a soon to be former staffer decided to bring Tina Fish on board.

Posted by mcblogger at 09:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Go, Hank, GO!

Hank Gilbert rolled out his campaign and has blown away all the other candidates for the Democratic nomination. This is a great example of what he's been up to...

It's becoming very clear that a Democrat CAN win the race for Governor and that Democrat is Hank Gilbert.

Posted by mcblogger at 11:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 28, 2009

Teh vomit... it rises up my throat...

Just go read this and find out why the Schlockman is widely considered to be one of the worst dailies in the world.

I get that this was supposed to be tongue in cheek but it's just so fucking stupid that I had to say something. A LAME blog wouldn't have run this. It is, in fact, almost as pathetic as Gardner Selby's barely readable commentary pieces. You know, as long as we're offering honest assessments...

Posted by mcblogger at 02:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Moral relativism and the NYT

Shorter Ross Douthat : Sure Bush fucked up. But then he jumped on fixing shit and down the road that's all we'll remember. And then there's this...

This is not a blueprint that future presidents will want to follow. But the next time an Oval Office occupant sees his popularity dissolve and his ambitions turn to dust, he can take comfort from Bush’s example. It suggests that it’s possible to become a good president even — or especially — when you can no longer hope to be a great one.

This is, literally, like being terribly impressed with a dog for scratching back with it's hind legs to cover up the shit they've just laid in the yard. It doesn't get rid of the shit, it doesn't even cover it up, but at least the dog put some effort into helping.

And that would be cool if we didn't expect a little more from the men and women we elect to lead.

Posted by mcblogger at 09:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 26, 2009

With friends like this

While Austin Mayor Leffingwell and Council Member Morrison stood up, some laid down.

This from Save Town Lake:

Austin City Council votes to ignore Waterfront Overlay

Despite the recommendations of the Waterfront Overlay Task Force and hundreds of calls and emails from Austinites like you who are concerned about reckless development in the Lady Bird Lake view shed, the City Council voted with Houston developer Grayco last night.

On a 5-2 vote, the Council gave initial approval for Grayco to build it's "PUD," despite that the proposed buildings violate the Waterfront Overlay ordinance.

Approval of this PUD sets a dangerous precedent for future "exceptions" to the ordinances that protect Austin's unique character. If the Council can overrule these limits with a simple vote, the sky truly is the limit.

Thank you to Mayor Leffingwell and Council Member Morrison

We would like to thank Mayor Lee Leffingwell and Council Member Laura Morrison for showing courage, vision, and leadership in the face of moneyed interests and voting against the Grayco PUD. Please support these officials who continue to uphold their promises to put Austin first.

Tell Council Members Riley and Spelman to keep their promises

This vote was especially disappointing because it would not have happened without the support of Council Members Chris Riley and Bill Spelman. Both members promised on the campaign trail that they would support the recommendations of the Waterfront Overlay Task Force.

Before the 2009 City Elections, when Austinites sent Members Riley and Spelman to the Council to represent them, the Austin Neighborhood Council sent all the candidates a questionnaire that included the following questions:

1. "Do you agree with the Waterfront Overlay Task Force (WOTF) findings that it is important to reestablish the waterfront overlay protections from the 1986 code that were removed in the 1999 plain English rewrite?"

2. "Will you push to codify and vote to reinstate the maximum height limits from the 1986 code such that they supersede any other provisions of the Land Development Code (including Planned Unit Developments (PUD) Districts, Planned Development Area (PDA) Combining Districts and Commercial Design Standards?"

3. "Will you oppose current rezoning requests if they violate the intent of the 1986 ordinance?"

Council Members Riley and Spelman answered "Yes" to all three questions.

Despite these campaign pledges, when first given the opportunity to live up to them, Riley and Spelman voted with the developers over the interests of Austin voters.

Riley's and Spelman's votes were, how do you say, aggravating
Mike Martinez - we're still holding out for hope
Shade and Cole - no big surprise, actually expected

So how do you think Perla Cavazos, or for that matter, Jennifer Kim would have voted. Guess we'll never know.

Seems, the tree-hugging, bleeding-hearts types who care more about fixing a community rather than tear it down are becoming less of a voice in this town. As they say, "That's progress".

Posted by Captain Kroc at 08:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

My shiny new Hank Gilbert bumper sticker

Driving Mopac to Round Rock, I got off the last free exit before you enter the abomination and took the feeder (service or frontage road for you urbane types) the rest of the way.

If you have Hank’s name on your car, you better walk the walk.

I’m staying on message, Big Guy.

Posted by Captain Kroc at 06:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 25, 2009

Racing to the Governor's Mansion (even though it's still kind of a burned out shell)

So, McBlogger has been up my butt like a suppository to support Hank Gilbert. Despite the fact that we emerged from the same gene pool, we don't always agree on candidates to support (you didn't get to witness the dramatic Edwards v Hillary blowout in 2007 that led to many tears. Oh, so many tears). ANYHOO, here are my thoughts on the current Democratic batch...

1) Mark Thompson - Who is Mark Thompson? Can he help me get back into a size 2? No? Well fuck him, then. He also has no website which makes finding out about him very difficult.

2) Felix Alvarado - When I asked a friend who's involved in Dallas County politics to tell me what he was all about, she replied "A surname". I went to his website and it seems there is more than that. Apparently there are pictures. And a calendar. And a link to donate. But nothing about issues.

3) Hank Gilbert - McBlogger loves him which is obviously a plus. It's also, surprisingly, a drawback. It really depends on how much he's annoying me. And how much I've had to drink.

4) Kinky Friedman - He's the human equivalent of a dog throwing up after being fed scraps from table. I don't know if has a website or not. I was afraid I'd get sick if I searched for it.

5) Tom Schieffer - Joined his email list just to see what was up. He kinda reminds me of my paternal grandfather. On Thursday he sent out a blast about drop out rates and claimed to be 'leading the charge to redefine our educational system as one that successfully keeps kids in school and immersed in a culture of learning'. He has a one paragraph education plan which makes me want to ask him to define LEADING.

McBlogger says he's been in the race for months. I only heard about him back in August so that doesn't bode well. Neither does the fact that he claims to be 'leading the charge' on an issue, but can't be bothered to actually publish a policy proposal. After months of 'leading'. He's only slightly ahead of Alvarado on this and way behind Gilbert.

So, what about the Republicans, you ask? Why not take a look at them? You sound like my father. He's really smart except for one day, every 2 years in November, when he turns into a retard.

1) Prick Perry - Not so much with this momo. I've had enough. And he looks like he needs to soak in moisturizer for a couple of years.

2) That Senile Old Lady From DC - Ahhhh... no. I thought Estelle Getty was funny on Golden Girls, but that doesn't mean I want her to be Governor. I'm all about voting identity, but this is damn stretch. It's like carrying a bag you know is fake but pretending it's OK because no one else knows it's fake. Meanwhile there are some bitches two tables over from you and your date laughing at your fake Marc Jacobs. She may be a woman, but she's not my kind of woman.

So, yeah, I'm really no closer to a decision.

Posted by barfly at 02:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Why does the NYT hate single payer?

FAIR would like to know.

Posted by mcblogger at 09:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 24, 2009

In other news...

  • From Quorum Report (via Carl Whitmarsh) comes word that Don Yarborough passed away yesterday. Don was one of the leaders of the progressive movement in Texas. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.
  • Farouk Shami, the Houston Hair Honcho, has hired a campaign manager and a pollster to fine tune messaging for his expected run for Texas Governor. Which should make the 2010 Democratic primary the most expensive in history. And I, personally, can't wait to see the message they come up with!
  • A stupid, doe-eyed reporter for the WSJ wrote this about 39%. Among the errors is the omission of the fact that we balanced the budget with stimulus money and that we actually had to borrow money from the Feds to cover unemployment benes and that 39% is, in general, a roundly hated douchebag. Just sayin'
  • Speaking of stupid conservative idolatry, here's a nice piece from Bruce Bartlett that can be rather neatly summarized as 'Clinton was better than Bush'. Bruce was on Reagan's economic team, just so you know where he's coming from.
  • Y'all have yourselves a goodun!

    Posted by mcblogger at 10:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 23, 2009

    Some people hate Sen. Harry Reid...

    ... and his son, Rory. So, the question becomes, why exactly are these two assholes running for re-election and election, respectively?

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:08 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    September 22, 2009

    Who the Public Option really hurts

    Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

    This actually changed my mind regarding what a worthless, wasteful group of douchebags run the insurance companies.

    Posted by mcblogger at 02:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Asking the poor to foot the bill...

    A few well meaning people have a problem with Austin Energy's plan to implement a climate change plan because it will increase prices for low income customers. Rep. Rodriguez has a very well written (and well thought out) smackdown.

    What will the poor do down the road if we don't implement these changes and start spending money to delevop new technologies? We are already at Hubbert's Peak in terms of global oil production. That means that all that recently discovered natgas and all the coal we still have is going to have to increasingly be used for transportation needs. Which means that one way or another, energy prices are about to go up for everyone.

    In the long run, adjusting for climate change and helping people during the transition is the safer, saner bet. And at the end of it will still be able to breathe!

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:20 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    September 21, 2009

    Thank God For Oklahoma!

    And thank God for OK Senator Tom Coburn, who makes our own John Cornyn look like Daniel Webster. And especially thank God for the insights of Coburn's aide Michael Schwartz, who told last week's Values Voter Conference that young people could be warned off pornography by telling them it could cause them to catch Teh Gay.

    Schwartz told the crowd about Jim Johnson, a friend of his who turned an old hotel into a hospice for gay men dying of AIDS. “One of the things he said to me,” said Schwartz, “that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark… he said ‘All pornography is homosexual pornography, because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.”

    There were murmurs and gasps from the crowd. “Now, think about that,” said Schwartz. “And if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants! You know, that’s a good comment, it’s a good point, and it’s a good thing to teach young people.”

    Wait, Playboy turns you gay? Well, maybe if you read the articles...

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 05:28 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    Hank Tours Texas!

    PhotobucketHank Gilbert, Democratic candidate for Governor, hit the road (or, rather, the air) today to make his campaign official... you can track his progress on The Road To Prosperity Tour here!

    Gilbert doesn't hesitate to take shots at political rivals. In a 2006 speech to the state Democratic convention, Gilbert called Gov. Rick Perry "just one notch lower in stupidity" than then-President George W. Bush.

    "I'm a no-bull kind of person," Gilbert said in an interview Friday. "I'm not always politically correct in the way I say things or present things, but people who know me ... understand that whatever I tell them, they can take it to the bank."

    Margaret Byfield of Taylor, a Gilbert supporter who hosted a fundraising party for his campaign Sunday night, said she likes his straightforward nature.

    "He's going to tell you what he thinks," Byfield said. "If you're looking for a political response, you're not going to get it from him."

    Byfield, who said she voted for author/musician Kinky Friedman for governor when he ran as an independent in 2006, said she and her husband, Dan, are conservatives who appreciate Gilbert's fiscally conservative philosophy.

    "We've already had friends ask why we're supporting a Democrat," said Byfield, who got to know Gilbert when they both fought against Perry's Trans-Texas Corridor. "He's appealing, I think, to both parties."

    Yes ma'am! And that's just one of the many reasons I'm supporting him! GO HANK, GO!

    Posted by mcblogger at 02:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 18, 2009

    If you were already rich...

    The Bush Administration really did provide some incredible wage growth... just not for you, me and certainly not for everyone we know. No, it was pretty much limited to the rich people.

    This really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone... concentrating wealth and economic gain to the very top earners/asset holders is a feature (not a bug) of supply-side economics and ideologically Republican tax policy.

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:42 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 17, 2009

    Kickin' it with Socialist Congressman Kevin Brady

    Apparently, Congressman Kevin Brady (who just happens to be from Texas, which makes us really angry) was upset that some of his fellow Republicans, this time in their Teabagger drag, were inconvenienced by public transportation because that had to wait for trains. Some of them even had to take cabs, which is really just intolerable for a privatization advocate like Kevin Brady.

    It's also pretty clear that Kevin Brady is pretty stupid. Oh, and Kevin Brady is a stupid name. Just sayin'.

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 16, 2009

    Goddamn, I didn't forget. STFU!

    Some of you have noticed we didn't have a 9/11 memorial post up on Friday. It wasn't because any of us forgot, it's because, frankly, enough has been said. Sorry we weren't able to provide you with the kind of rubbing-gravel-through-our-hair experience you were seeking on Friday. We gave you my where-I-was story in 2006 which can be summed up as 'Sitting in traffic on MoPac trying to call a friend's parents'. I'm not reposting the same story, over and over again. Once, the year we started, was quite enough.

    Besides, this is really the best written commemoration post I've read.

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:47 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 15, 2009

    Burka Channels Hank Gilbert?

    Apparently, Burka also thought that 39%'s decision to send the Ranger's to the border was more political theater than actual law enforcement. Hank Gilbert only beat him to the punch by 72 hours.

    To date, there's still nothing from the other Democrats and the pitiful entertainer in the race (including and not including Ronnie Earle).

    Posted by mcblogger at 02:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Attention WillCo D's : Find a candidate

    PhotobucketToll road lovin' Rep. Dan Gattis has announced a run for the seat being vacated by Sen. Ogden (who has his own issues, if rumors are to be believed).

    So, y'all have a mission... find someone to run against this freakshow. This isn't a partisan thing, Dan Gattis is a stuffed shirt with no business in the House, let alone the Senate.

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 14, 2009

    Your Political Infotainment Wrapup

    After performing at a Labor Day Tea Bag 'n' Dip Rally in West Virginia, legacy country singer Hank Williams Junior was seen sulking backstage. Sources report that Mountain State folklorist Farrell Dobbs had explained to him that the old song "Big Rock Candy Mountain" wasn't about that kind of rock candy.

    Changing his mind after flirting with a run for Lite Governor, restaurateur Marc Katz will now challenge embattled Court of Criminal Appeals Justice Sharon Keller. "What can I tell ya, my courtroom never closes!" commented the Austin pastrami slinger

    Following the widely-awaited release of the Beatles Rock Band video game, international bad guy Osama bin Laden has shipped a new audio tape in an attempt to seem relevant. While analysts have not yet confirmed that the voice on the tape is actually that of bin Laden, there is no doubt that it is of recent origin, since the recording does refer to Kanye West as a douchebag.

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 09:16 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    We will miss you, Dr. Borlaug

    Dr. Norman Borlaug, the man who in large part helped save the world from suffering an unimaginable Malthusian hell, died Saturday at his home in Dallas.

    Borlaug was one of only five people in history to score the trifecta of winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal -- placing him in the company of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela and Elie Wiesel. He was also named by Time magazine in 1999 as one of the 100 most influential minds of the 20th century.

    That influence showed itself in earnest while Borlaug was working in Mexico in the 1940s, where he created a system of plant breeding and crop management that became the basis for the Green Revolution, which dramatically increased agricultural production. The system was a huge success and was exported to countries around the world.

    In 1960, the world produced 692 million tons of grain for 2.2 billion people. By 1992, largely as a result of Borlaug's pioneering techniques, it was producing 1.9 billion tons for 5.6 billion people -- using only 1% more land.

    On Borlaug's 90th birthday, former President Carter said that he "has been demonstrating practical ways to give people of the entire world a higher quality of life. . . . He is a true humanitarian."

    Added former Sen. George McGovern (D-S.D.), Borlaug's "scientific leadership not only saved people from starvation, but the high-yield seeds he bred saved millions of square miles of wildlife from being plowed down. He is one of the great men of our age."

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 13, 2009

    Gotta love some red meat!

    Once again, I'm volunteering for Hank Gilbert's campaign for Governor. So understand... I'm biased in the race. I promise I won't be too mean to the other people. However, YOU may think it's too mean. Suck. It. Up.

    So, let's take a moment and look at what the campaign released Friday regarding 39%'s idea to send the Ranger's to the border...

    Texas Governor Rick Perry has repeatedly campaigned on border safety issues, including a pricey electronic monitoring system that allowed citizens to monitor the border. “All of Perry’s border policies have been a dismal failure, best summarized by the phrase ‘too little, too late’. If the Governor was using the border as anything other than a campaign issue, then why didn’t he get his predecessor, George W. Bush, to do something to curb border violence when he was president,” Gilbert continued.

    “Perry has never bothered to pay attention to the border until it is politically expedient. Earlier this year, when it became evident that he would have a battle for the hearts and minds of GOP primary voters, he began his faux begging to the Obama Administration for resources the state already possessed. He’s comical. He’s a drugstore cowboy who thinks Texas exists in a vacuum.”

    Gilbert also said that Hutchison’s criticism of Perry’s announcement was laughable. “Kay Bailey Hutchison has been a U.S. Senator for more than a decade. She hasn’t done anything to curb border violence and drug cartels. For her to even lift a finger to criticize Governor Perry from her ivory tower on the Potomac is irony befitting a fiction writer,” Gilbert continued. “If sniping from Washington is her idea of leadership, then maybe she should stay in Washington and do what she does best, nothing,” he continued.

    First off, just FYI, the money has been allocated for this years ago. 39% has been whining about Washington since January because this has only been a problem since January when President Obama was sworn in. It wasn't at all a problem when Bush was talking about sending troops to the CA border. Nothing at all was happening in Texas.

    So, yeah, the cocksucker was all about political posturing, meanwhile the people on the border need some help. And his solution is to send in a few Texas Rangers. All bullshit about one riot, one Ranger aside, this is really the absolute least he could do and shows he doesn't give a crap about the folks on the border.

    And Hank took the time, during the DNC meeting, to call him out on it.

    So, here we have a candidate for the Democratic nomination to be our Governor who is aggressively taking on 39% and Senator Hairdo. And from the other folks in the race, nothing. We have one up in Dallas hawking his line of shitty products. Another who expects everyone to part the sea for him. Another who has to be begged to enter the race (and has been leaning toward running for so long I'm afraid he's gonna fall over). No even knows what Alvarado and Thompson are up to. In point of fact, my analysis from June is still spot on WRT the rest of the field.

    To the other candidates in the D primary, feel free to keep running. But do it right. If you want to represent this party and lead this state, mount a credible campaign. Actually talk clearly and concisely about issues. Take on Republicans. Show some fucking heart.

    Or, put your ego aside and let Hank do it. You may have noticed, he's pretty good at it.

    UPDATE : Kuffner and Todd Hill at BOR have posts up about yet another story about Ronnie Earle's potential run. I was one of the people who wanted to draft Earle in the summer but with Hank in the race, I feel like we have our candidate.

    That and I'm goddamn sick of Earle LEANING. Shit or get off the pot, Ronnie.

    As for what his entry into the race does, opinions will be many. My read is that it will be the last gasp of the Schieffer campaign as Hank builds support among all Democratic Party segments from the establishment to activists to the student Democratic orgs at the universities. Earle will get a narrow segment of the liberal base that doesn't go for Hank. Kinky won't gain any traction with Hank in the race (let's face it, Hank's more interesting and can talk about things other than his line of cigars and badly written books). Thomposon and Shami can fight it out for 2% and that'll probably leave Hank in a runoff with Alvarado.

    Posted by mcblogger at 04:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 12, 2009

    Stimulus dollars still planned for toll road

    Oh come on...

    Federal stimulus dollars, to the tune of $90 million, is going to build a portion of Manor Expressway, a toll road to be constructed by the Central Texas Regional Mobility Authority. The road will connect US 183 to and from US 290.

    The $90 million in funding was requested by the Texas Department of Transportation, on behalf of the Central Texas Regional Mobility Authority. Proponents say it will create 500 jobs. Opponents say the jobs are only temporary and having to pay to use the toll roads amount to a double tax.

    Double? Try triple... people will be paying a gas tax, then a toll tax and (because the stimulus was borrowed money obtained by the Fed's) then income taxes. Three different taxes going to pay for the same ribbons of concrete.

    Building toll roads with stimulus dollars is completely unacceptable.

    Posted by mcblogger at 02:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 11, 2009

    Al Franken on Health Care

    It's so goddamn sad to think that Sen. Franken is from the same state as Michelle Bachmann

    One is unrelentingly crazy, the other so sane it makes even the non-nasty teabagger in the video act nice. Good work, Senator!

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:08 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    September 10, 2009

    This is strange...

    According to our friends at the Schlockman, the mortality rates for breast cancer are higher among black, hispanic (no breakdown) and rural women.

    Quick! Name groups that historically have very low access to health care and even less to health insurance?

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 09, 2009

    Cautiously optomistic

    About time, Mr. President...

    “I will not waste time with those who have made the calculation that it’s better politics to kill this plan than improve it,” Mr. Obama said. “I will not stand by while the special interests use the same old tactics to keep things exactly the way they are. If you misrepresent what’s in the plan, we will call you out.”

    We want single payer. They want nothing. The compromise is public option. Now, please do that.

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Yeah, put me in the disapproval column

    What a loser...

    According to a fresh Associated Press poll, public disapproval of President Barack Obama's handling of health care has increased to 52 percent. The poll was released hours before Obama pitches his version of a health care overhaul in a prime-time address to both houses of Congress.

    Obama's marks are also poor on the economy, with 52 percent saying they disapprove of how he's handled that issue. The survey of 1,001 adults with cell and landline telephones was conducted from Sept. 3-8. It had a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3.1 percentage points.

    Meanwhile, Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., a top Senate negotiator, conceded that the government-run insurance program demanded by the president's supporters cannot pass the Senate.

    The same poll concludes that with health care reform crawling and unemployment reaching ever higher, Obama's overall approval rating has also plummeted. The survey showed that 49 percent now disapprove of how he is handling his job as president, up from 42 percent who disapproved in July.

    OK, this isn't just about health care... this is about financial services re-regulation, the stimulus and, well, EVERYTHING ELSE HE'S DONE. He's taken a mandate and through action or inaction turned it into, well, shit. Oh sure, things could be much worse, but he's wasted a ton of time playing politics and footsy with the nutter teabaggers instead of driving through, hard, what he should know needs to be done.

    It's weakness and a need to compromise even when it's unnecessary. We've gone from having a President who was steadfast and drove home what he wanted, but was always wrong, and replaced him with a President who is usually right but won't fight to get his way aggressively.

    Not that I think McCain would have been any better, I just thought it worth mentioning to all of you who were so supportive of the President in the primary. Who were overawed by weak concepts of change and hope. Idealism is wonderful but without tenacity, it turns into what we have now... a President elected with the largest majority in 20 years who can't even get members of his own party to do the right thing.

    And letting Sen. Baucus relay the bad news is just chickenshit, Mr. President. Especially after a former health insurance exec wrote the bill and he already ran it past K Street for approval.

    I hope and pray that the President develops and spine, shows it tonight and forces the issue. We need a leader who is willing to fight tooth and nail, not someone who compromises everything they believe in.

    Posted by mcblogger at 02:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    I'm gonna keep pounding on this...

    ...until y'all get how important it is. Yes, that's right... ANOTHER post about income inequality. Quit crying and pull up your big girl panties.

    There are two data points here. The first is that income inequality is the highest it's been since the Depression, actually since WW1. It's even higher than 1928. The second is that the top 1% of this country has managed, during the Bush years, to capture TWO THIRDS of the income growth in this country.

    What can we glean from this, other than that I think it's important and you should as well? Supply side economic policy doesn't build jobs or a strong economy because of it's irrational focus (in practice) with tax cuts as opposed to fiscal responsibility and tax targeting for desired outcomes. The notion that you can drive expansion of the economy by increasing capacity through preferential tax cuts for the wealthy is, well, WRONG. The rich, rather than invest in new capacity, will invest in existing assets. Or keep the money in cash. The certainly aren't building a new tire plant in Cleveland.

    Further, when you combine this information with the doubling of the federal debt and the reality that at some point in the future we'll have to pay higher interest rates due to this debt, you should get pretty pissed about ever believing anyone, Republican or Democrat, who advocates supply side.

    In fact, I'd like to punch them in the face.

    Posted by mcblogger at 10:27 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    September 08, 2009

    McBlogger? No... I'm Walter Mugabe now.

    I know it's been a while since the birther garbage dried up, but I've had this tab open with this AWESOME website and I just had to post it. Now you, me and everyone we know can have a Kenyan birth certificate just like the fake one the birther's made for President Obama!

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go indoctrinate some children by making them read Obama's Five Parables, the latest in a series of tracts that will familiarize the young with BarackObamaThought and prepare them for Great Leader's speech today. After which they will return to their conservative parents... and kill them all!

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 06, 2009

    Save Them Skule Chillurnz!!

    I realize my planned weekly post on lawyerin' is now so overdue that more than a fortnight o' lawyerin' has gone uncovered, but that's not where the action is right now.

    Where the action is, is in pointing out and staring at the tsunami wave of Stupid that has washed over this nation since word got out about the President wanting to speak directly to small children about such controversial, highly-charged partisan issues as staying in school.

    The Mayor has already addressed this issue and nailed down what has to be the most reasonable hypothesis for explaining the hysteria, the last time out having gone so poorly and all. Still, you have to figure that even if there is a solemn pledge to suspend all air traffic and not read any goat stories this time around, that won't get people to come down from off the ceiling.

    Here's what I think the President should do. Let this controversy continue to fester and blow up waaaay out of proportion. Let the Crazies pull their kids out of school. Let them carry their collective cow to full term. Let them have a completely drug-free natural cow birth. Then, when the day of the speech comes, President Obama should simply lead the children in the Lord's Prayer and sign off.

    Now, I know that would be inappropriate and not entirely consistent with the Establishment Clause, blablabla....But talk about some heads exploding! THAT would be fun to watch! It would be like when the immovable object meets the irresistible force - what would happen? Would the Crazies' sheer unalloyed hatred of Obama compel them to object to a good old-fashioned Christian prayer in school, or would their fanatical devotion to school- sanctioned Protestant religious rituals force them to have to choke down their open abhorrence of Obama? I don't know which would happen. But it would be a really neat science experiment either way. (Hey! that would be ANOTHER tie-in to stuff about education!)

    In fairness, it makes internal sense from Teh Crazy viewpoint to worry about potential indoctrination of schoolchildren. Because that's what THEIR fave U.S. President did when he had the opportunity. So logically, they expect Obama to do the same. We can all see where that would lead, right? Reach today's impressionable grade-schoolers, and you've captured the minds of a whole generation of young voters, just in time for the election of 2016, when Obama is conveniently up for his third ter-........oh, wait, that doesn't......

    Ah, I give up. They're just batshit crazy.

    P.S. - Props to MSNBC's John Harwood for saying so, out loud, on the air.

    Posted by hbalczak at 11:54 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    September 05, 2009

    Enough with the hamburgers already

    Really Schlockman? You thought that by waiting a month no one would pick up on you copying TM and the NYT?

    YAY! Just in time for Labor Day, houseburger recipes with which your mom/friends can torture you!

    Posted by mcblogger at 04:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 04, 2009

    Sweet Jesus, Jared Woodfill is a fucking liar

    Harris County GOP Chair Jared Woodfill sent out an email earlier today telling subscribers that the President's speech to students will take hours and be political. It's not. It's about the importance of education and staying in school. But Jared, never one to waste an opportunity to act like a jackass, makes it out to be something sinister... "those horrible Democrats are at it again, this time they're going for your children!!" Nevermind that Reagan and Bush had similar events. Reagan even preached the gospel of supply side economics during his.

    Now that was some indoctrination.

    Please take a moment to call Harris County Schools and tell them to air the President's speech. Then take a moment to call 713-838-7900 and feel free to share your feelings about Jared Woodfill. My favorite word today is COCKSUCKER so maybe think about using that for Dear Old Jared.

    Posted by mcblogger at 04:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack


    My world, as you can imagine, is shattered into billions of pieces...

    I'll be in the bar, if anyone needs me. thinking of creative ways to end all the pain and disappointment.

    Posted by mcblogger at 03:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Income, Taxes and some Wage Growth : What American's Need Now

    Burger King and Goldman Sachs

    Let's cut the crap... the way to end income concentration and restore the middle class is taxes, but it's not what you think. Instead of taxing massive corporate salaries and bonuses that are received by individuals, tax the companies giving them. Massively, for any management level salary that exceeds 20x the pay of the lowest paid worker. The second thing that absolutely has to be done is a tax CUT to companies on a scale that increases as the lowest paid worker (no distinction between hourly and salary) gets closer to making more than twice the poverty level. For a family of four.

    This incentivizes good behavior, creates real wage growth and has no net negative effect on businesses because they'll get a tax cut just by doing the right thing. The stick there is scrubbing every corporate loophole and making this the only way to reduce tax burden.

    I offer this as a solution to income disparity and the lack of strength in employment. If this country is to endure, it's the middle class that must expand. Keep in mind this is coming from someone who makes many multiples of the poverty line. I voted for Obama knowing that my taxes would probably go up either on earned or unearned income.

    Some of you will think it's unfair that we tax higher incomes more than lower incomes. Here's the thing... a doctor in Botswanna doesn't make anything close to what a doctor in the US makes. Part of that disparity is that the American doctor was lucky enough to be born in the US. For winning the ovarian lottery, he or she gets the privilege of a prosperous career. This country is the way it is in large part because of those who came before us, who paid their taxes and created an environment where that doctor could prosper. Why shouldn't they help pay to support it for the next generation?

    To put it more plainly, someone like myself has a skillset that allows us to make a very comfortable living in the US. In Bangladesh, those skills would be worthless. Being HERE, in this country at this time, affords me the opportunity to live very well. So, no, I don't have a problem supporting the country that enables me to do that.

    Neither should CEO's and the other uberwealthy whose only talent was coming out from between the right pair of legs.

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Roundin' Up The TPA

    It's the week before Labor Day, and the Texas Progressive Alliance is hard at work bringing you the best of the Texas blogosphere. Here are this week's highlights.

    The Texas Cloverleaf wonders why only one person showed up to a budget meeting where taxes are being increased in Denton County. No tea bags left?

    Neil at Texas Liberal offered the fullest extension of the back of his hand to opponent's of Houston's Ashby High Rise.

    TXsharon wonders what Governor Perry is thinking to appoint a global warming denier as the highest environmental official in Texas at a time when polling shows Americans support Obama on reducing greenhouse emissions and when the EPA has just confirmed water contaminated with hydraulic fracture fluid. Maybe the question should be: Does Perry think?

    South Texas Chisme wants you to know that Medicare is a PUBLIC heath care option. Ciro, stand up. Henry, wise up.

    Bay Area Houston has video of Republican Pete Olson punking himself punked at his own town hall meeting while trying to use a sick kid for political gain.

    Lightseeker over at TexasKaos insists that we not hold health care reform hostage to solving the Abortion Wars. See this and more in his posting, Abortion Wars, Health care and Private Enterprise.

    Off the Kuff analyzed some policy papers from Houston's leading Mayoral candidates, examining Gene Locke's crimefighting plan, Annise Parker's education plan, and Peter Brown's energy plan.

    WCNews at Eye On Williamson posts about The good news health care reform would bring to TX-31 and Williamson County.

    Setting a date for the eventual US Senate special election is all about the MoFo, according to PDiddie at Brains and Eggs.

    This week, McBlogger asked a very good question... Why do we even care about Joe Lieberman?

    At Texas Vox, Citizen Sarah reports on Houston Mayor and Senate Hopeful Bill White's Energy Security Policy, per his panel at Netroots Nation. Video included.

    Teddy at Left of College Station covers the Chet Edwards town hall on health reform live from the Brazos Center, and then shares his thoughts on the town hall, and why a vocal minority is against health care reform. Left of College Station also covers the week in headlines: remembering Senator Ted Kennedy.

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 03, 2009

    Much Ado About Nothing

    Just how would you explainn the latest round of Baracknophobia to your visiting Martian friends? Why all the tizzy over the President having the audacity to speak to school kids about the importance of getting good grades? About all I can do is recall that the last time a President sat down to read a book to some second-graders three thousand Americans were killed and we ended up in two wars that are long past their win-by dates.

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 06:18 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    Protesting health care reform in MD

    This is retarded (the video)... Note to conservatives, you guys are just fuckall lame. Being cutesy isn't funny. It's really not even cute. And you should have better looking, more talented people doing these things.

    Of course, Maryland isn't the only place for stupid people doing stupid things. There's also Fayette County here in Texas where teabagger activist Chris Boyle is going to be protesting the dedication of a new VA Clinic. Because the health care we give our Veterans is socialized medicine, don't you know. Also because Congressman Doggett, who was integral to getting the clinic built, is going to be there and Boyle hates Lloyd Doggett.

    Hey, protest all you want. Get those poor people teabaggers out. I don't even mind the fact that they'll benefit more from health care reform than I will and that I'll pay for these trashy people. But don't, for the love of God, protest a damn VA clinic.

    Have some respect for the people who work there and the people who need that clinic.

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 02, 2009

    ExxonMobil going after bloggers?

    TX Sharon over at Bluedaze has the deets and this has to be one of the dumbest things ever done by an oil company. The blogger's transgression? Shooting and publicizing video of how XOM 'fixes' a leaky storage tank (with some kind of metal screw). Read more over at Bluedaze!

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:42 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Gettin' Kinky...

    So without any of the pomp and bullshit that surrounded his gimpy run for Governor as an independent in 2006, Kinky announced his intention to run for Governor yesterday to a bunch of reporters who, more than likely, were thinking of ways to kill themselves during the interview.

    Reaction around Texas could best be described as angry and/or bored.

  • First up, Phillip over at BOR who REALLY doesn't like Kinky. I can't really blame him... I think the guy is a dbag, too. I just don't need quite as many words to say so.
  • Kuff analyzes 2006 v 2010 for the kinkster and comes to the conclusion that he'll fall, hard.
  • TXSharon over at BlueDaze just thinks it's all very embarrassing, much like your creepy Uncle Melvin. OMG! Doesn't Kinky totally remind you of Melvin?!?!?
  • For my part, I'll just rehash this piece from 2006 and ask Kinky to fuck off. Or, to use the words of SpaceNerd Will Wheaton, die in a fire.

    Either way.

    Posted by mcblogger at 10:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    September 01, 2009

    Now this will jam me up...

    Council gives prelim approval to banning text messaging while driving. On it's face, this isn't a bad idea... for everyone but me. What I'd also like to see is a ban on cell phone use without a handsfree device. I saw a close call Thursday afternoon on Parmer when someone on the phone swerved into the other lane... and continued despite the fact that the driver in that lane was honking like a mad.

    Come on, He Who Stands Up To Toby... make that happen!

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:05 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    I love you John Coby!

    Coby went to Rep. Olson's little townhall and here is his report. He also shot some video... not long after the video ends, Olson shut down the townhall when he realized his lies weren't selling. Then there's this...

    Visit for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

    Thank you, John!

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack