August 13, 2009

Mah Boo Takes a Load To The Face And Jokes About Huffing

You KNOW that bitch McBlogger is scraping the bottom of the barrell if he's asking the Fruitfly to post. So let's just dive straight into the gutter, shall we?

Back in June, Anderson Cooper co-hosted Live with Regis and Kelly. I guess Reeg was getting his face pulled again or something. Anyhoo... this is a semi-regular gig for Mah Boo and I try to catch him on the show because Kelly is a class-A fruitfly that tends to bring out Andy's inner giggling schoolgirl. After regaling the audience with stories about going to Studio 54 WITH HIS MOM, Andy and Kelly hosted a weird 4th of July cooking segment. It started with Kelly doing the coke shimmy and ended with Andy giving all the gays of the whole wide world some jackoff material.

Here's the clip that made my no-heart area sing. You know when Andy took that load to the face, a million gay angels got their wings.

note: if you don't get the "Mah Boo" reference, you need more internet in your life.

Posted by Fruitfly at 10:09 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 10, 2009

NYC Prep

Ok, so does anyone absolutely HATE this show as much as I do? If so, do they still watch every episode like I do? I must admit, in the opening episode, when they did a teaser about a funeral I was like, HELL YES, ONE OF THESE KIDS DIES!!!! Then, last week it was the poor innocent DOG that passed away. Talk about a letdown. When I said I wanted one of those bitches to suffer, I did NOT mean a female dog, thankyouverymuch!

Oh, and making fun of Texas?!!? REALLY?!? You all think you can judge TEXAS?! You all stay on your overcrowded smelly island and we'll take a landmass bigger than France.

Ok, onto the characters, also known as America's Least Wanted List:

Sebastian: Douchebag, but honestly I like him more than Cole, so Taylor, either date this one or, I don't know, DATE NEITHER!

PC: I think he'll be FAR happier once he comes out of the closet all the way. He has potential to one day be cool.

Jessie: Umm, HORSEFACE. Seriously, does anyone else CRINGE when they see her face. Something is SERIOUSLY deformed about her. Fashion isn't the industry you belong in, you should go into plastic surgery to get some free comps!

Kelli: If this girl were a river, she'd be the Red River, cause there's no freaking water! She's the most shallow person in existance. Ever. Plus, her parents ought to, I don't know, at least LIVE IN THE SAME CITY AS HER! Isn't that child neglect?!?!?

Camille: We arrive at SATAN. Yes, the most EVIL being alive. Period. I almost wish I was a Harvard Alumni just so I could start a facebook group petititioning the school NOT to accept her and threatening to cut off all donations if they do. Ruining her life would give me great pleasure.

Taylor: Wow, a good normal person. Refreshing. GET AWAY FROM THOSE PREP SCHOOL KIDS, THEY ARE EVIL! :)

And yes, I do have too much time on my hands to get so worked up over this show!

Posted by MasterConsultant at 10:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack