December 29, 2007

The Rise of Fascism (New Orleans Style)

This video pretty much speaks for itself. Frankly, I don't give a damn about the reason...there is no reason to lock citizens out of a city council meeting.

Lets just say, if this were to happen in Austin, I would probably end up in jail for disturbing the peace, although were things to get this bad in Austin, there really wouldn't be much peace!

You can read the full story from truthout.org here.

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September 15, 2007

Crazy Old Man Syndrome

Time reports on the waning days of Senator John "Sparky" McCain's campaign:

At a crowded rally at a VFW hall in Hudson, NH last night, McCain -- again -- used the MoveOn "Betray Us" ad as a emotional crowd-pleaser. It was a boisterous event, so when I thought I heard McCain call for MoveOn to be "thrown out" -- and then be drowned out by applause, I first went to the campaign and asked what the candidate said. They were at a loss as well, but said it seemed highly unlikely that he'd call for something so harsh. ("It goes against everything he believes in.") Today, a colleague from CBS News with better equipment played a tape from the rally. McCain did, indeed, let his passions run ahead of the First Amendment. The tape is clear. He said:

"It's disgraceful, it's got to be retracted and condemned by the Democrats and MoveOn.org ought to be thrown out of this country, my friends."

Later examination of the tape using sophisticated CSI Miami style audio analysis equipment revealed however that the 113-year old McCain had merely called for MoveOn.org to be thrown off his lawn.

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August 05, 2007

Once Again, The Homeland Secured

Civil liberties took a beating over the weekend but at least Congress finally gets to take its summer vacation. The departing lawmakers showed they have no hard feelings towards Il Dunce despite all his criticism of them and granted Generalissimo Alberto Gonzalez ever-more expanded powers to wiretap without going through any messy formalities like pretending to pay lip service to quaint Eighteenth Century notions like Rule of Law.

Although billed as part of the War on Terror, some experts question the effectiveness of the measure. Most Al Qaida cells are believed to have stopped using telephones and now communicate with one another through coded messages included in the news crawl on Fox News.

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May 31, 2007

Great Moments in Assholery

You know, you couldn't get me to go back to high school for a million dollars. Or ten million dollars. Okay, maybe a zillion dollars. But not if I'd have to deal with Prinicpal Dicknose, as reported in today's Slag.

A handful of Dripping Springs High School seniors will be called back into the principal's office for cheering and bouncing beach balls above their heads during their graduation ceremony Friday at the Shoreline Center in Austin.

Their behavior, said Principal Greg Jung, was unacceptable.

Jung held on to diplomas for the entire 200-student graduating class for two days while district staff reviewed video of the ceremony in an effort to identify the pranksters. Jung said he expected to release diplomas for students not involved today or Friday.

Once the offenders have been identified, Jung said, he will meet with the students and their parents this month to "let them help me determine how to resolve the situation." Jung hopes the students can come up with a way to make things right, perhaps through a community service project.

Hey, Hitlerito, why don't you call the draft board and have them all shipped to Vietnam? That'll show the little bastards, yah fucking fascist asswipe!

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May 23, 2007

Let's do something original, just like those other guys

I remember reading a few months back that Fox "News", noting the success of Comedy Central's Daily Show and Colbert Report, was launching its own "fake news" show. Yeah, there's a whole meta thing happening there when a parody of a news organization launches its own parady, but I'm not going there because the big news is that I actually saw a few minutes of it a few nights ago. And how was it? Well... since apparently they're forbidden to poke fun at Dear Leader or the Leaderettes there's not a lot of comedy material left to work with.

Michael Moore... he's FAT! And crazy muslims! Who put the bee in their turban? Uh, did we mention that Michael Moore is fat?

Even the laugh track was phoning it in.

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May 05, 2007

Fraidy cats

Via MSM

Wal-Mart labels Boerne nuns a security threat

The corporate giant reportedly labeled the nuns a security threat after they raised questions about Wal-Mart's business practices.

Sister Susan Mika is part of the Benedectine Sisters, which is part of the Interfaith Center on Corporate Responsibility. The center has been questioning Wal-Mart's business practices for years.

"We've been raising questions with them for about 17 years, so it's not like they don't know it," Sister Mika said.

Now, the sisters find themselves on Wal-Mart's security threat list. Sister Mika said the group has been wrongly labeled.

If WalMart is worried about nuns, clowns must scare them absolutely shitless.

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October 08, 2006

Hacky sack: threat or menace

Hacky sack can be kind od annoying, the sort of thing that we used to deal with by telling the players to "beat it" and perhaps suggesting they seek gainful employment. But then, 9/11 changed everything.

Ford said he and a buddy were lobbing a Hacky Sac back and forth in the fountain area outside the Boulder County Courthouse when Officer Colin Stephens approached.

Stephens asked for the footbag and requested the pair come sit by him, Ford said. The teens did as they were told, but asked if the officer had the authority to take their sack, according to Ford.

"He said it's evidence in a crime," Ford said. "He said you can't Hacky Sac on the mall."

Stephens, who couldn't be reached for comment Wednesday, escorted Ford to the Pearl Street police annex and issued him a $250 ticket for "releasing projectiles on the mall," according to Ford. He explained that the footbag is a projectile because it flies through the air.

I guess that's what happens when cops don't have any unsolved cases to keep them busy.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 08:22 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 05, 2006

Who is looking out for you?

Don't you just hate it when you're suckered into reading some supposedly "banned book"? You expect to be titillated by its salacious content but it turns out to be just another boring cautionary tale? One about a totalitarian dystopia where individuality and dissident thoughts are verboten? At least some Virginia students will be spared that disappointment thanks to Harrisonburg Schools Superintendent Donald "Macaca" Ford, who banned the local high school's display of banned books.

The high school library display, Ford said, seemed to entice students into reading the books because they are on a list.

"We are not going to send a message to kids encouraging them to read ‘banned’ books. Our message should be to read books, a wide variety of books.

"But I don’t think we should tease kids into reading a book by trying to say, ‘there might be something juicy or controversial in this book. Therefore, it would be a good one for you to sneak home and read."’

And just what sort of books will the Blue Streaks not be tricked into reading thanks to Ford's courageous action?

High School Principal Irene Reynolds recalled that the titles included "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," by Mark Twain; "Fahrenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury; "The Diary of Ann Frank," and "The Bible."

Does the Nobel Committee award a prize for irony? I'd like to make a nomination.

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