March 02, 2010

Farouk is on Fiy-ah!

If the "Day without Mexicans is like a day without sunshine" remark was a Nine on the political embarrassment scale, Shami has finally managed to crank it up to Eleven.

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February 24, 2010

Queen of the Birthers Asks UN Help

Orly Taitz, well-known dentist/constitutional scholar, has appealed to the United Nations for protection from death threats, vandalism, false complaints, and forced enrollment in a proper application of cosmetics class. Her attorney says she is being persecuted for her relentless efforts to disprove the citizenship of Comrade Obama.

Ms Taitz requested the Black Helicopters come to her rescue after Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus rejected her plea for political asylum.

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May 18, 2009

2010 Texas Gubernatorial Election

Gov. Rick Perry Does NOT Deserve a 3rd Term

Will Perry Finally Hit the Road?


During the past 7 years of his reign Gov. Perry mercilessly and maliciously has "flim-flammed" the good people of Texas.

Perry is another leader in power with political muscle and clout who abuses and takes advantage of his position and of hardworking Texans. And that's exactly what Perry has done since the first day he took over George Walker Bush's place in the Governor's Mansion when the latter evacuated Texas for Washington D.C.

During the past 7 years Gov. Rick "Special Interest" Perry did NOT lift a finger to help hardworking Texans. In fact, he did a lot to hurt them -- where it REALLY hurts -- in their wallets!

So, you may say, "What did Perry do that was so bad?"

Well, here you go! read further...
.

· Perry promised to help homeowners get relief from high taxes; however, during the past 7 years property taxes have sky-rocketed more than 800 percent for homeowners in some districts

· Perry promised to help Texas homeowners with high insurance costs; however, 4 years ago home insurance premiums doubled overnight due to lax legislation and officials looking the other way and currently Texans pay the highest premiums in the nation

· When home insurance premiums doubled, the governor and [at that time] Texas Insurance Commissioner Jose Montemayor and later current TDI Commission Mike Geeslin promised to force the insurance industry to reimburse homeowners at least 10 percent of the recent 100 percent jump in costs -- has anyone gotten a check back from an insurance company -- except for the industry's campaign contributions to our special interest officials?

· Approximately 4 years ago, the governor put on his 10-gallon white Stetson and "galloped" around Texas pushing legislation to eliminate "frivolous" medical malpractice lawsuits with the promise that doing so would lower medical and health care costs; however, after voters took him for his word and voted for the legislation costs are still high and are continuing to rise

· Four years ago Perry cut important social services, including children's healthcare, to balance the state budget; one year later, he replaced some of the funding for these programs while boasting that he increased health care tax dollars for more Texas children --- Perry's claim was bogus!

· During the first few years of his gubernatorial career Perry resolutely proclaimed that public education was NOT in crisis -- two years later, under severe public pressure, he admitted there was a financing problem and called for two special sessions on public education that went nowhere; part of the reason that nothing was accomplished was Perry's poor leadership

· Perry illogically wanted to finance public education with taxes on "Gentlemen's Clubs" and neither Republicans nor Democrats voted to do so

· Year after year Perry and "his band of merry legislators" have diverted more of the state's responsibility to finance education onto local county governments, who in turn placed the burden onto already struggling homeowners

· Why did Perry promise Texans that deregulating the electric industry would translate into less costly monthly electric bills from a more competitive industry? In reality, currently monthly electric costs for Texans are the highest ever in the state's history

· Perry promised that ALL businesses will pay a FAIR business tax that would replace the antiquated, unfair and loop-holed Business Franchise Tax; however; in truth many small businesses are being targeted unfairly and are overburdened by the new business tax and still these taxes do NOT provide a fair share of revenue to finance public education

· Perry, legislators and appointed officials promoted a Teacher Incentive Plan to focus on getting students to pass the state exam(s) as the measure of success; our children are NOT commodities on an assembly line and such a ludicrous piece-work pay incentive is an insult to teachers and their honorable profession -- furthermore, if the state provided teachers with a more professional and reasonable salary with adequate benefits there would be no economic reason to provide extra perks via an incentive program that won't work for educating our children

· Four years ago, after forcing teachers to accept pay cuts and the loss many of their health and retirement benefits, Perry and officials returned a small share of that money and claimed they increased teacher pay an average of $2,000 per teacher --- another bogus claim by Perry!

· Perry lobbied for deregulating higher education with the promise that it would lower tuition costs; after the legislation was passed by voters, the University of Texas has increased tuition at least 4 times and is considering another increase --- other colleges and universities followed suit and currently tuition continues to increase

· Perry continues to promise Texans "NO NEW TAXES," but continues to push his toll road agenda --- what are toll roads if not new taxes? In addition, Perry maintained the freeze on gasoline taxes and gave TxDOT his approval to spend tax dollars however it needed to push toll roads. TxDOT became a runaway state agency and was provided omnipotent powers by Perry's legislative cohorts. In addition, gas tax revenues still are being diverted to other interests, including higher education institutions and the Department of Public Safety. Gasoline tax revenue must be used to build and maintain our roadways!

Overall, Gov. Rick Perry has been "a VERY bad man" for most Texans and their families. The Governor's wealthy campaign contributors and big business constituents have made higher profits and more money by abusing the pockets of most Texans.

Currently Perry is supporting and approving what he deems "positive" things, e.g., more affordable low income housing, freeing up some tax dollars so low income folks can get homes, creating some jobs here and there, and he even mouthed-off about secession from the U.S. --- although he did a quick turn-around on that public statement.

"So," you may say, "what's wrong with that?"

Well, I'll tell you ----

The former comedienne and actress Mae West once defined a "Fox is a Wolf bringing gifts." This definition may be applied to our governor's self-proclaimed efforts on behalf of the people of Texas.

Remember, 2010 is a reelection year for Gov. Rick Perry. With only 17 months left of his term as governor, he is already feeling the pressure by Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison's efforts to win in the GOP Primary. Perry has nothing to lose and has everything to gain by driving home this "Good Governor" impression in the people's minds just before the election.

The circus magnate P.T. Barnum stated that, "There's a sucker born every minute." And that exactly is what our governor is hoping... that the majority of Texans are suckers.

In November 2010 voters need to make a strong statement to the governor. We know what he has and has not accomplished during his lackluster 7-year reign.

We know all the promises he made to us and how few he has honored.

We know how his poor leadership of the Texas Legislature has hurt hardworking Texans and their families.

But most of all, we are NOT suckers!

We must NOT permit Perry to scam another 4-year term that will cause further harm to future generations of Texans.

It's time to "Make Perry take a Hike!" Sounds like a great bumper-sticker!


***

- by Peter Stern

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December 16, 2008

For Whom The Bell Tolls

Okay Chris, no more campaigns, M'kay?

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December 14, 2008

Shoo!

They're finally throwing stuff at Americans in Baghdad, but it's still not flowers and chocolates...

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September 20, 2008

Top Ten Differences Between Sarah Palin And A Pit Bull

10. The Pit Bull has never tried to get any books banned.
9. The Pit Bull doesn't use its family as political props.
8. No Pit Bull has ever slashed funding for the Special Olympics
7. Pit Bulls are a darn sight smarter
6. The Pit Bull was never associated with a secessionist political movement.
5. Pit Bulls don't hunt from helicopters
4. Pit Bulls lay, Sarah lies
3. If you subpoena a Pit Bull, it shows up to testify
2. The Pit Bull doesn't think sleeping in the garage makes it an expert on transportation.

And the Number One difference between Sarah Palen and a Pit Bull:

One is a bloodthirsty, pitiless killing machine... the other is just a dog.

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September 01, 2008

Breaking: Fox News Reports Hindenburg Has "Bumpy Landing"

Sister Ruth observed that John McCain thought he was picking a running mate, not an entire Lifetime movie.

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April 17, 2008

BREAKING: Blogger Calls For ABC Boycott

Some guy on Kos is torqued about something or other.

In solidarity, the Mighty Netroots will be restricted to a 23-letter alphabet until further notice.

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February 24, 2008

A Message To Ralph What's-His-Name

Slightly higher production values than my "Fuck you, Ralph!"

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February 09, 2008

Bush At CPAC: Democrats Threaten Peace And Prosperity

Yeah, that'll totally ruin the war and recession thing he's got going.

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August 25, 2007

Attention Whores in the News

Living saint Cindy Sheehan joined Party of Slavery member Dennis Kucinich in a march to the Bush compound in Kennebunkport, Maine. "President" Bush, of course, was at his own pigfarm near Crawford, Texas, but the weather is so much nicer in Maine this time of year.

The actual Bush-in-residence at Kennebunkport, former President George Herbert Walker Mifflin Stanley Porter Davis Bush, greeted the peaceniks with a request that they get the hell off of his lawn.

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July 16, 2007

The man without a country

Sister Ruth called a week or so ago to warn against falling asleep with CNN on. Apparently she woke up and there was President Poopyhead blathering away like he does to one of those crowds pre-screened to exclude anyone who might notice that the emperor is not only naked, but speaking gibberish to boot. It got me to wondering about what life is going to be like for Bush after that glorious day that three-quarters of America is longing for, the day he moves out of the White House. The day he no longer lives in the Potemkin village where he is universally loved, when he finally comes within shouting distance of those of us who've endured his reign like an eight-year bout of the stomach flu. Welcome back to the Reality-Based World, George!

Some presidents spend their retirements playing golf. Some continue in public service of one sort or another. America's original tyrant, George III descended into madness, went blind and deaf in his old age. Still nominally King of England, he lived on, unaware as Napoleon Bonaparte conquered most of Europe and lost it as well. What will the future hold for our King George? I like to think he'll end up like Howard Hughes did, holed up in a hotel room somewhere. Wearing Kleenex boxes over his shoes. A fridge full of mayonnaise jars of his own pee.

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July 10, 2007

Look at me! Look at me! Look at meeeeeee!!!!

Someone once said that the key to understanding Republican spokesmodel Ann Coulter was that she suffered from a form of Attention Deficit Disorder: she hates it when no one is paying attention to her. Sad to say, Living Saint Cindy Sheehan seems to have confirmed that she is a fellow afflictee.

You may recall her Memorial Day tantrum, when she first announced ahe was sick of the peace movement and retiring to her home, which escalated into an angry announcement that she was "leaving" the Democratic Party. (Which I think would be akin to me saying I've given up flying to Paris on the Concorde for lunch.) And of course that retirement was followed by making the rounds of liberal and disident radio shows, including Sheehan's revelation that, as a structural engineer, some of the events of 9/11 seemed fishy to her.

As it happened, Cindy's "retirement" lasted only a little longer than Paris Hilton's sojourn in the slammer. In the wake of Popo's personal amnesty for justice obstructor Scooty Libby, Sheehan announced her return to the political arena with an email that revealed (1) she was pissed and (2) she no longer believed in paragraph breaks.

That, however, was the teaser for her big "look at me!" moment, issuing a threat to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that unless impeachment is underway by the time Sheehan's traveling roadshow rolls into Washington on July 23, she would run as an independent against Pelosi in 2008. She amplified her feelings in a diary on Daily Kos:

Well, the cat got out of the bag early as they so often will do. I was going to announce on July 10th (my 50th birthday) before our Journey for Humanity that I would run against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca) if she didn’t put impeachment back on the table before our tour reached DC on July 23rd. Impeachment was never hers to take off the table as it is a Constitutional remedy for BushCo, not an optional smorgasbord choice. However, the story was leaked to the AP and we couldn’t keep the big announcement under wrap

Yeah, well Cindy, when you tell everyone at your big Cindy Sheehan Is Going Away Forever Festival about your plans, it's no surprise that word gets out, since people have cell phones and internets and stuff.

The feedback I have been receiving since then has been about three to one positive and supportive.

Of course, that was before people started commenting on the diary, back when she was talking mostly to people who've mistaken her for Gandhi, or maybe Chauncey the Gardener. But lest she leave anyone unsure where she stands...

The Democrats are the party of slavery and were the party that started every war in the 20th Century except the other Bush debacle. The Federal Reserve, permanent federal (and unconstitutional) income taxes, Japanese Concentration Camps and, not one, but two atom bombs dropped on the innocent citizens of Japan were brought to us via the Democrats.

That's right, Cindy, there's been no realignment in American political parties in the last century and a half. And who could ever forgive Woodrow Wilson for invading Belgium and sinking the Lusitania, Franklin Roosevelt for attacking Poland and bombing Pearl Harbor, or Harry Truman for sending his army south across the 38th Parallel? In fact, the Democrats are so damned evil I'm surprised she dadn't just switch to the GOP.

Of course, Cindy, if you think the income tax is unconstitutional, you might want to take a little break from the black helicopters crowd and read the 16th Amendment sometime. Just sayin'.

I know that some people will read this and accuse me of saying awful things about Cindy, "who has gone through so much." Well, lots of people go through a lot. That doesn't give them license to go batshit insane. And Sheehan needs therapy, not more applause. For your own good, Cindy, and the good of the cause of peace. chill out, get some help, and quit acting like a lunatic.

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