March 01, 2010

Party Resolutions: Waste of Time or Exercise in Futility?

You say you want a resolution
We-ell you know
We all want to change the world

And what better way to change the world than showing up at your precinct convention Tuesday evening and passing a bunch of resolutions exhorting your party to support this and that? To tell the truth, practically anything else this side of holding up signs in congressional hearings while dressed like a clown, but that won't plenty of earnest party activists from climbing the first step in the great Resolution Process. The next step, of course comes later in March at the County Conventions, when the resolutions passed at the lower level will again be debated and, should they pass muster, be delivered into the hands of the high and mighty State Convention for consideration at the most exalted level. And from here? Well, nothing much.

See, party resolutions are a lot like writing letters to Santa Claus. Except in this case there's no chance the parental units will sneak a peek and discover the unsettling news you'd prefer a set of Ninja throwing stars instead of that lame Easy Bake Oven.

Oh, I hear some ask, can you really be so cynical? After all, didn't Abraham Lincoln say all politics is local? Or was it Joey Bishop? Well, to be honest, this scarcely scratches the surface of my cynicism. But as Pliny the Elder wrote, "Don't hate the playa, hate the game." So in the spirit of unity I again offer the official McBlogger Precinct Resolution:

RESOLUTION

SUPPORTING FREE CHIPS AND SALSA

WHEREAS the cuisine known as "Tex-Mex" is one of the crowning cultural glories of the Great State of Texas, and

WHEREAS the provision of chips and salsa is an essential part of the ambiance of the Tex-Mex restaurant dining experience, encouraging conviviality and promoting the consumption of refreshing beverages, and

WHEREAS there has been a trend at some establishments to charge for chips and salsa, thereby eroding our traditions and promoting a fast-food mentality among patrons;

NOW, THEREFOR BE IT RESOLVED that the State of Texas recognize the inalienable right of access to free chips and salsa for patrons of Tex-Mex restaurants, and that the Texas Legislature be directed to support this right by appropriate legislation.

Adopted by Precinct #__________in Senatorial District # __________of ____________County, Texas, on March 2, 2010.

Precinct Convention Secretary__________________________

Telephone________________________

For your convenience, you can download a PDF here.

Finally, I'd like to point out to the Republicans who read this blog (yes, we know you're out there and, thanks to the just-renewed Patriot Act Comrade Obama has your IP addresses) that there's nothing in the way this resolution is written that would prevent it from being introduced at your precinct conventions. After all, chips and salsa is not a party issue, they're a fundamental right we share as Texans.

So, if you must, have at it.

Abandon the creeping meatball!

¡Hasta la victoria siempre!

¡Salsa o muerte!

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at March 1, 2010 09:23 AM

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The 2010 Texas Democratic Platform is forty-three freaking pages long (that's just a few less than the Bible) but contains not ONE line about our inalienable right to free chips and salsa.... [Read More]

Tracked on July 12, 2010 04:56 PM

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