February 26, 2010

Carpetbaggers and NARCs Oh My

While the bloodletting in the Democratic primary this year hasn't gone much beyond treating Jan Patterson like a rented mule, the same isn't true on the GOP side. Getting the most attention of course is the Perry/Hutchison/Medina cage match for governor, but the ballot also includes a rather nasty race in HD 47. In Southwest Travis County Paul Workman and Holly Turner are duking it out to see which of them gets the chance to lose to Valinda Bolton this November.

Now I'll admit that for a while I really didn't pay much attention to this contest. In fact, when Holly Turner's 4x8's first started popping up, I thought they were advertising a new realtor, or maybe a cosmetologist, to judge from the vivid shade of lipstick on display. But then the mailers started landing.

Once again, I wasn't paying too much attention. After all, my voting history shows a pretty consistent turnout as a D, but I figured as long as the Republicans wanted to throw their money away they were welcome to do it. But as i carried them on the short journey from the mailbox to the recycling bin I did notice that both candidates seemed to be more concerned with sending some kind of message to Washington than they were about any Texas issues. Typical of these was this one from Turner, all wound up about her kid growing up in a land crushed by debt.


image descriptionNow I've blown up the box of terrifying financial numbers from the corner of that mailer so we can all cower in fear at the evil legacy-to-be of Comrade Obama and the Dummycrat Congress. (And if you can't trust the Heritage Foundation's take on this, who can you trust?} Next I'll pose a little civics-related question to the candidate: How much influence does a member of the Texas House have over the federal deficit or the national debt? Oooh, that would be zero.

Things got more interesting when Workman quit talking about how important Voter ID was and blasted Turner's residency status:


(Quick sidebar: how do we immediately know this is a republican mailer? That's right, both babies are white.)


Workman's contention is that Turner has lived for some time in Fort Worth and rented an apartment here for the sole purpose of running for office. Turner, however, claims on her website to be just a regular ol' local gal:

Holly was raised in the Hill Country and she shares our values: less government, lower taxes, and more individual freedom.

Now, it has been stated elsewhere (like that first mailer I posted) that "Holly Turner grew up 38 miles from here in Seguin, Texas." Umm, Holly, last time I was in Seguin, it struck me as being pretty flat. And in fact it looks like it was left off the list of places in the Hill Country.

(Poor thing. Not too clear on federalism, shaky on geography. I'm starting to understand that lipstick.)

But wait, there's more.

She believes that more people need to be taking care of themselves, not relying on the government. And that government needs to serve the people – not the other way around.

So government should serve the people, but people shouldn't expect anything from the government. Logic? Fugeddaboutit!

Yes, in case you're wondering, Holly Turner is a Tea Partier, at least if we can infer anything from the Meetup Groups she's joined. (Remember Meetup.com, the social networking juggernaut that propelled Howard Dean into the White House?) Well, bless her heart.

In case voters didn't get Workman's point, he sent out another blast a few days later touting his attack website www.hollydoesnotlivehere.com where he rolls out the C-Word...


Well, which C-Word were you expecting?

CARPETBAGGERS, if you'll remember from history class, were the Northerners who came down to the South around the end of the American Civil War. Their sole purpose was to hoodwink the Southerners — to take advantage, impose their ways and force themselves into political power.

If you've done any reading since history class about Reconstruction, you might have come across the interesting fact that one other thing those hoodwinking carpetbaggers did, as part of taking advantage, imposing their ways and forcing themselves into political power, was help found the Texas Republican Party... whose nomination Mr. Workman now seeks.

The latest to hit my mailbox has come not from Holly Turner per se, but rather on her behalf...


(We know this will be trustworthy because would a bald eagle lie?)

image descriptionThat's right, folks, Paul Workman is NOT (cue creepy music) A Real Conservative because in the past he has donated to "ultra left wing liberals" like Dawnna Dukes and Pete Laney. No wonder the tea party-inspired Conservatives In Action PAC of Terrell, Texas has the vapors.

(Just a damn minute... Terrell? More carpetbaggers? Bubba, lemme git ma shotgun!)

Will there be more salvos in this mail bombardment? Still a few to go before Election Day. Kepp 'em coming, folks, keep 'em coming.


image descriptionPlease Mister Postman look and see

If there's a mailer on the truck for me

What should come today but a rejoinder from Holly Turner, repeating the same shocking accusations as her Terrell carpetbagger amigos.Workman funds the campaigns of Travis County's most liberal Democrats!

image descriptionTravis County liberals like... Kirk Watson... Mina Brees... Dawnna Dukes... Pete Laney... John Sharp... Patrick Rose... Uhhh Holly? Pete Laney? Patrick Rose? They're not from Travis County. And honestly, they're not all that liberal. Geography, civics, logic: Holly's trifecta of Fail.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at February 26, 2010 03:49 PM

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Tracked on March 7, 2010 02:20 PM


The mailers in this race have entertained me greatly. If I were voting in the Republican primary this time, I would be voting for Workman since it appears he is a supporter of liberal Democrats. Except for the Patterson beatings, there has been very little infighting between Democratic candidates. The expected all out blood letting in the Pct 4 Commissioner's race has not happened.

Posted by: McIndependant [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 1, 2010 09:51 AM

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