April 22, 2009

Pity the bankers...

As many of you know (because I've gone to great lengths to beat you over the head with the knowledge), I have little respect for the managerial class and even less for those in that class who run or work at money center banks. From the investment bankers all the way down to the trading floor, these are a group of people who've always been, in my opinion, far overpayed relative to the intrinsic value they bring to the table.

Seriously, you tell me why I should be paying a 22 year old fresh faced BBA 7 figures to trade with my money? It just never made sense to me, especially now that we know those profits were all illusion (or in the case of AIG's Financial Products division, actual insurance fraud).

Of course, there are some who just can't get used to the new world. Take this wife of a Wall St. CEO whose company received TARP funds. They've seen their nestegg disappear as most of it was in company stock. But, even more shocking, there is no remorse for the shareholders who trusted her husband to take care of their capital. And who are now broke, without the salary her husband still enjoys.

Or these scheming little bitches in this article about the dry-up of bonuses and increased taxation. Here's a jewel from it...

“No offense to Middle America, but if someone went to Columbia or Wharton, [even if] their company is a fumbling, mismanaged bank, why should they all of a sudden be paid the same as the guy down the block who delivers restaurant supplies for Sysco out of a huge, shiny truck?” e-mails an irate Citigroup executive to a colleague.

None taken, DBag. I would like to point out though that the guy who delivers shit for Sysco actually makes money for his company. All you've done is lose money. Without the government, your hard work would have resulted in Citi's bankruptcy. Unarguably, the delivery guy provides far more to GDP than you.

Oh, and on behalf of Citi shareholders around the world, you can go fuck yourself. Thanks for losing their goddamn money, asshole.

Their anger takes many forms: There is rage at Obama for pushing to raise taxes (“The government wants me to be a slave!” says one hedge-fund analyst); rage at the masses who don’t understand that Wall Street’s high salaries fund New York’s budget (“We’re fucked,” says a former Lehman equities analyst, referring to the city); rage at the people who don’t “get” that Wall Street enables much of the rest of the economy to function (“JPMorgan and all these guys should go on strike—see what happens to the country without Wall Street,” says another hedge-funder).

To the hedge fund analyst, speaking in hyperbole makes you look stupid. Now, run along before I ram a copy of Atlas Shrugged up your ass. This country enabled you to succeed and make money. Just like the rest of us, you'll pay your taxes to support it. As for the other hedge-funder, absent the government there wouldn't be a JP Morgan. As for what would happen to the country without Wall Street, as if you're all heading to a gulch somewhere with perpetual motion machines, don't flatter yourselves.

With the advent of real time information services, talent no longer needs to be tied to lower and midtown Manhattan. Nor do we need the folks in Greenwich, CT. In Dallas, LA, Houston, Austin, SF, Portland, Seattle and Chicago there are tons of talented people who are ready to step up to the plate to provide financing to the people of this country. And they work cheaper than you do anyway. From community banks and credit unions to regional and superregional investment houses, we can replace all the supposed talent that got us into this mess. Not to mention, the B-schools nationally are churning out ever higher numbers of BBA's and MBA's.

No, really, you won't be missed. Especially by shareholders who will be infinitely better off without you.

Posted by mcblogger at April 22, 2009 01:03 PM

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