October 13, 2008

Shit announces merger talks with Vomit

Remember way back in February, 2007 when we reported the about rumor a merger between GM and Chrysler? Well, it appears that the talks have since moved forward with all the deliberate speed of an accelerating Chevette.

via The 'berg

Combining GM, the biggest U.S. automaker, with No. 3 Chrysler would cement GM's global sales lead over Toyota Motor Corp. The money-losing Detroit companies are under pressure to boost cash as the credit crisis dries up loans for dealers and buyers, helping send U.S. auto sales to their lowest since 1991.

``It would be a classic consolidation,'' John Casesa, a partner at consulting firm Casesa Shapiro Group in New York, said today in an interview. ``The incentive would be to reduce cost by reducing overhead,''

Oh.My. Casesa must have been at the bar this AM where the Bloomberg reporter who filed the story was enjoying breakfast (one egg, one english muffin and one eye opener consisting of equal parts bourbon, vodka, clamato and a quarter teaspoon of habernero chile). First off, I guess you could call this 'a classic consolidation' if you consider such success stories as Sony/Columbia and Federated/Allied 'classic consolidations'. And if you redefine 'classic consolidation' to mean 'peerless clusterfuck'.

This is a super bad idea. You need to liquidate both the companies, guarantee the pensions of the workers and make sure that an acquirer doesn't fire them. Change the management, change the design teams and voila, you'll get a great company.

The government would have to be involved in something like this, but that doesn't scare me. What terrifies me is allowing the managerial incompetence in place now to continue and drag down both companies. And their workers.

Posted by mcblogger at October 13, 2008 07:40 AM

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