October 18, 2008

Hi, this is Rose Petal again

I’m so sorry to take forever to say something, but after Mr. McBlogger took back his website, Amalgamated said I had too many occurrences and fired me. I’m not sure what that is, but when I asked them about it, the HR lady called the security guard. Big whoop. He’s some speed freak with bad breath and really smelly feet. I just walked out. What a bunch of lames. Anyway, mama’s got the cancer, so I’ve been taking care of her.

One day, Mr. McBlogger called me. He said I was funny and asked me to come to his house to talk about a job. Well, anytime a guy says I’m funny and wants me to come to his place, they usually end up getting their swerve on, or want to talk about Jesus and then hit on me. So I had my guard up.

When I saw that he was some old gay dude, I felt pretty safe. Except he kept drinking liquor, and the more he drank, the louder and meaner he got. Just like my last two boyfriends and stepdad.

I don’t care if he’s gay. One time I went over to Sam’s dad’s duplex. Her name is Samantha, we just call her that. He had gone with his girlfriend to a casino in Louisiana for the weekend, so we had the place to ourselves. We started drinking and Sam went to her dad’s room and brought back a porno DVD. Most of it was women. I think she then put on somebody named Melissa Ferrick and started to give me a back rub and then hugged my neck. We made out for a little. I think she’s done this before. That’s all we did, because it didn’t do much for me, but if you want to have sex with your own kind, so what.

Anyway, Mr. McBlogger wanted me to write about politics, which I know nothing about, so I asked an old boyfriend who still has benefits, and he said Sarah Palin is a MILF. Who knew he was into old women.

He was going off about this and that, saying Obama was an Arab and hangs out with terrorists. Like I said, I don’t know much about politics, but after listening to Mr. McBlogger about the candidates, I knew my old boyfriend was talking stupid. I asked him why he doesn’t join the Army and go to Iraq if he was so all American. He got all pissy, and lame too. I cut off his benefits, so now he’s all nice and says he going to vote for Obama which I knew he’s lying since he’s not even registered to vote.

So I asked mama who’s always watching TV and reading magazines. She said that she had read that Palin cheated on her husband, and has a pregnant unwed 17 yr old daughter. Mama said she doesn’t care about such things, but said that what she’s seen so far of her was that she was a bitch and not too bright about finding good honest answers for problems.

I’m not sure what mama meant, so she explained, “Look, hon, Palin is that girl in high school who bossed everyone around and convinced you she had these great ideas and always got others to do the work, but then when all was said and done, had messed things up and you had to fix up her mess. She would take credit for the good things, and blame you for the bad. Or, she outright lied. But she’s conniving. I got to give her credit for that. You know those kids who tell on you? I don’t care much for them, but I sort of understand their reasons. But Palin was the kind that would blackmail you by threatening to go to your parents or teacher if you didn’t do something for her.”

I do remember a girl like that, but some people at school said they were going to show her. I don’t know whatever happened to her, but when I asked those people what did they ever do to her, all they kept chanting was “Heathers, Heathers, Heathers.”

That’s all I got right now. I’m looking for a new job. I had been working at Starbuck’s, but that one closed down. Since I got my GED, Granny said she’s got some money tucked away and would help with vocation school

Oh, and just between you and me, I think Mr. McBlogger needs a boyfriend, but he needs to lose some weight. Granny said, “Bless his heart.”

Posted by SCAB at October 18, 2008 09:16 PM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:


Rose, good writing. You're a good break from McBlogger's profane revelations about the economy.

Look forward to your updates...

Posted by: WhosPlayin? [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 18, 2008 11:50 PM

Post a comment

Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)

Remember me?