September 11, 2008

Barfly Reviews... Date My Ex : Jo and Slade

I am so excited to be able to present Barfly Reviews... in which my beloved and usually inebriated sib will review some of the garbage she watches. And I, usually, am secretly watching as well though I'll never admit to it. Well, maybe I'll admit to Gossip Girl.

What? It's a good show!

date-my-ex02.jpgMcBlogger has wanted me to post something about this truly horrible show for some time. Honestly, I didn't want to watch a single episode. I mean it basically combines two things that I really loathe: dating shows and Slade Smiley. Even worse, Slade Smiley in crinkle scarves! Urgh! Seriously, what was that about?

Anyway, I managed to make it through season 1 which is a dubious achievement at best. It proved to be so incredibly vapid, I honestly believe that I could have posted this without watching a fucking episode. First, the male contestants. One might be tempted to feel sorry for the idiots if they weren't such a blatantly boring, fame seeking bunch of sycophants. Some of them make my exes look good and McBlogger knows exactly how low on the evolutionary chain that puts them! Jo managed to weed out an asshole and three other guys that were just paler versions of each other. After she kicked out the troublemaker who dared to challenge Slade, any detectable novelty went out the door with him.

Yet the others remained to compete for the prize that is....Jo? Yeah, I guess Jo is okay. Okay compared to the vacuous slabs of flesh that populate the O.C. Am I alone in thinking her cute blonde friend is far more interesting? And that her brunette friend is far more beautiful? Oh and please, don't tell me it's because of her musical talent. 'You Can't Control Me' was like a cat vomiting while some bad cover band played in the background! You may absolutely love mediocre manufactured pop poop, but I doubt you'll find my sharing this a kindness.

Yet, inevitably, Slade threw his cheesy fucking cap back into the ring in the incredibly obvious big zinger of the season. There are coma victims that saw that coming. Why? Because while Jo & Slade may deign to share camera time with the others, at the end of the day it's really ALL ABOUT THEM! SURPRISE! At least Bravo kept it brief, and Jo shattered the last remnants of Slade's pride with a mercenary glee. Slade seemed to be happy with the camera time though.

So, Jo then decided to leave town with crew for San Diego. She came to the conclusion that on picking a new man, she should start fresh. I can totally see where she was coming from can't you? I mean, it would be kinda tacky to pick out her new boyfriend right in front of her old boyfriend! Which leads me to wonder why the fuck she couldn't have figured that out when the BravoProgrammingBrainTrust came 'a-calling!

So, it came down to a chipper fucker that- I shit you not- built her a bear and Printed V-Neck T-Shirt Guy. I have to call him that because there is absolutely nothing remotely interesting to say about the guy. Apparently even Jo could sense that sad fact, and she gave him the boot. Build-A-Bear must have captured Jo's heart! Yep, the business development manager, Lucas, can get ready for some serious body glitter in his future. I just hope he has some ear plugs.

Posted by barfly at September 11, 2008 08:59 AM

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