August 10, 2008

We're close to a deal to retake McBlogger

"Our long national nightmare is over." Gerald Ford, President of the United States
"Dude... they aren't going to cave. I'm offering to buy the damn thing back. " McBlogger to Mayor McSleaze


Just wanted to let y'all know that we couldn't come to an agreement with ACC regarding working conditions. However, they have apparently been doing so poorly with their investment that they are willing to sell the blog back to us. We're currently negotiating the trade and it's complex. Eurodollar futures, credit default swaps and a derivative based on the future price of milk. In 2190. So, if on a bright summer day in 2190 we show up on your doorstep asking for room and board, the trade went the wrong way and we owe more than the US owes China.

Of course, it could go the other way which would mean we will own the blog forevermore and we'll become thousandaires. Which is hella exciting.

You should also know we'll be keeping some of the new talent, mostly because ACC is paying to get rid of them and they'll work for free. People like Rose Petal, Vinnie and Chandra.

In the meantime, here's a little bit of our special, unique and altogether unerringly correct take on current events.

  • House Republicans continue their little stunt. Democrats like Prick Lampson (the cocksucker from CD22) continue to pander about Drill.Everywhere. Meanwhile nothing gets done to actually fix the motherfucking problem. Oh, and dipshit Obama, our fucktard candidate, can't keep his goddamn mouth from pandering almost as much as that senile old bastard. Almost. McCain has earned his own special place in hell... the man is demanding that Congress do something. Meanwhile, he's been an absentee Senator for damn near, what, a year? Fuck you, old man. AND GET OFF MY LAWN.

    While we're on the subject of ABC's dippy little poll, it's worth noting that the only thing the damn poll reveals is that Americans don't know a fucking thing energy policy or sustainability. It also shows that the Democrats are once again pandering to the lowest common denominator in a futile effort to try to deny the Republicans an issue... by playing to their strengths. From a strategy perspective, you can all eat out my asshole while I'm shitting out corn from last night.

    You know, I expect this kinda crap from the Republicans. But you Democrats are smarter and should know better. Instead, like the weak little bitches you are, you're folding up like lawn chairs. To hell with all of you. And especially you, Rep. Noriega. We're done with your ass and your shitty campaign. When y'all get a goddamn clue, run for something else. Until then, don't waste the fucking money if you're not going to run a real fucking campaign.

    Don't get me wrong, Democrats will probably have a big year in Texas anyway. Even Lampson and Noriega will more than likely win because the environment is just so toxic for Republicans... well, it is except for the wildcard energy bullshit that the Democrats refuse to stand firm on and the R's are rather effectively turning on them. However, none of you will win because of talent or skill. You'll be accidentally elected. Which, though not necessarily bad, will make a lot of you look better than you are. And give you a false sense of security.

    As for you staffers, frankly some of you suck balls. Actually, a lot of you suck balls. Some of your people will win but it won't happen because of any special talent you bring to the table.

    I'm tired of sing-song, party line bullshit. If it smells like shit, looks like shit and motherfucking tastes like shit then it's shit. Don't act like I've got to eat what you serve because the shit from the other side is so much worse. Your JOB is not to pander, it's to fucking lead and fuckall if almost every Democrat I support hasn't forgotten that and become about as clueless as the short bus Republicans. Some that is bad staffing and bad consulting. Some of it is bad candidates. However, the reason doesn't matter. What matters is fixing it NOW.

    If this were 1948 and you people were running Truman's campaign, we'd have elected Dewey. That's how bad you're doing and the fact that you'd bother to argue the point with me makes my case.

  • RUSSIA AND GEORGIA ARE AT WAR. While this little conflict has been mostly ignored by everyone, our own Mayor McSleaze has been keeping up with it. Meanwhile, the conventional press has been obsessed with John Edwards and where his dick has been which is interesting since he's never been a big moral crusader unlike Republicans who really love their condemnation of others... and their off the record pussy. And ass.
  • There is also this from the Washington Post...
    This administration will leave office having trashed the place -- and I'm not talking about a few "W's" pried loose from White House computer keyboards by the exiting Clinton crew. I'm referring to the myriad ways in which this administration, dismissive of the role of government, abused the enterprise it was entrusted with overseeing.

    My favorite sentence in the Goodling report sums up the hiring practices in the department's supposedly nonpartisan career ranks: "Tell Brad he can hire one more good American."

    This was the response by Goodling, who served as Justice's liaison with the White House, to a request from Bradley Schlozman, the interim U.S. attorney in Kansas City, Mo., to bring aboard a new prosecutor. "Good American" is Goodling's code for "Republican."

    Every victorious administration enjoys the legitimate spoils of government. The president is entitled to bring in his people -- those who have voted for him, written checks to him and back his policies. Every administration has its Goodlings, inexperienced punks who flaunt their authority as conspicuously as a West Wing badge.

    Most administrations find ways to keep the Goodlings under control and the grown-ups in charge. The trouble with this one is that it is riddled with Goodlings Gone Wild, incapable of or unwilling to distinguish between the proper pursuit of political aims and the responsible administration of government.

    To take one other recent example, the NASA inspector general found last month that press officers in the space agency "reduced, marginalized, or mischaracterized" studies of global warming, toning down politically unwelcome conclusions. A news conference on global warming was postponed, according to a senior scientist, because the "administration does not want any negative environmental news before the [2004] election."

    So what's the deficit got to do with it? The deterioration of the nation's budgetary picture under the reckless stewardship of this administration is the fiscal equivalent of the Goodlingization of the executive branch. President Bush put adherence to Republican theology -- taxes must be cut -- over prudent governing.

    In February 2001, when the new president presented his first budget to Congress, he described the fiscal situation this way: "We have increased our budget at a responsible 4 percent, we have funded our priorities, we have paid down all the available debt, we have prepared for contingencies and we still have money left over."

    That happy situation, he said, justified -- no, necessitated-- a tax cut: "The growing surplus exists because taxes are too high and government is charging more than it needs. The people of America have been overcharged, and on their behalf, I am here asking for a refund."

    The next president will confront a far gloomier situation. The deficit, the administration's budget experts reported Monday, will be $482 billion -- a huge number that is probably a low-ball. Among other things, it assumes only $70 billion for operations in Iraq and Afghanistan.

    HAVE. A. GOODUN.


    Posted by mcblogger at August 10, 2008 04:14 PM

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