May 13, 2008

JUST like a football game...

Making fun of Chris Matthews and Tim Russert is surprisingly easy. However, some manage to screw it up. Much like McBlogger with his Chris Matthews impersonation which is analogous to a bad blow job. You had high hopes at the beginning, maybe you were even anxious with anticipation. But then, well... there were teeth and in the end you find yourself just praying it will be over soon.

What? Too graphic? Sorry about that...

These people have created the best satire of MTP and Hardball I've ever seen. Here's an excerpt:

Chris: Let’s bring on Tim Russert here. Tim, don’t you think this election is just like a great FOOTBALL GAME?

Tim: You said it. A real barnburner, Chris.

Howard: Jesus.

Tim: You know, it reminds me a lot of when my dad, BIG RUSS, and I watched Bills games together. Just one of those real back-and-forth games. You had Jim Kelly, the great, All-pro quarterback. And you had Thurman Thomas, the wonderful running back. Those were real competitions. And that’s what we have here. A REAL competition. With Barack Obama, whose this sort of great, unpolished talent. Very much like Vince Young, the quarterback down in Tennessee.

Chris: I agree. I think he’s just like Vince Young, right down to the gay throwing motion. This REALLY is astounding. I’ve always said politics is just like football, and it’s showing here.

Tim: Actually Chris, you have deviated from that platform on occasion. I have a quote here that YOU gave to MSNBC just two months earlier where you said, quote: “I think this election is just like a GREAT HEAVYWEIGHT BOXING MATCH,” unquote. So you said boxing match back then, and now you’re saying football. How do you reconcile those two positions?

Chris: HA! That’s amazing, Tim! God, you’re just like a GREAT TENNIS PLAYER! Always volleying back and forth with all kinds of moves. It’s amazing! Let’s bring on Senator Clinton here for a moment. Senator Clinton, don’t you think you’re just like BILL BELICHICK? Always scheming, sort of seeking out that winning edge any way you can find it? In fact, don’t you and your husband combine to represent Belichick perfectly, with your knack for evil plotting and your husband’s penchant for hot cougar tail?

Seriously, you'll want to read the whole thing.

Posted by hbalczak at May 13, 2008 09:33 AM

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Let’s get ready to rumble. I know that’s boxing, but it reminds me of the wrestler Dusty Rhodes, who started in 1968 and continued to wrestle at 60. He called himself the American Dream and his signature move was the “Atomic Elbow”. Later changed to the Bionic Elbow. When I was a kid, I saw him up close and noticed his forehead was covered with scar tissue. My buddy who was a wrestling fanatic told me that Rhodes would cut himself with a razor so when another wrestler hit him, he would start to bleed. That’s old school.

You don’t see that from those pretty boys on the WWF. Pussies

Anyway, as I was saying, during Monday Night Football’s heyday, Dandy Don Meredith would say when a player limbed off the field, “He’s got a hitch in his giddy-up.”

You don’t hear those pretty boys on ESPN saying that. Pussies

Anyway, as I was saying…

Posted by: Captain Kroc [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 13, 2008 10:06 PM

There was a jackass my father was friends with when I was a kid named Don Meredith. One time, while at Texas Stadium, I noticed his name up on the wall and asked my father when Mr. Meredith played for the Cowboys.

My father laughed and laughed and laughed. That was the day I learned that sometimes two people can have the same name.

Posted by: mcblogger [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 14, 2008 08:31 PM

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