« Thanks, Justice Stevens. No. Really. Thanks a lot. | Main | The endless construction on Cesar Chavez »

April 29, 2008

You thought your parents were embarrassing

Read this and tell you have it bad. Here's an excerpt...

My father is a porn addict. I've known for a while now, but now that I'm older he seems to be pretty comfortable telling me about how much he absolutely loves boobs, and what kind of sites he likes to look at. Almost every movie we watch together has naked women in it.

I'm his daughter.

This one sounds like one of Barfly's dates...

So I was in a play, and part of my costume included very tight pants. Tight enough that one could get a sense of the approximate shape of parts of my anatomy.

I come home after the show, my mom leaves the room. My dad watches her leave, turns to me and says, "The girls better be after you after that show." I ask what he means, and he says, "You've got your old man beat. I'm impressed," and he nods down.

It takes me a second to realize what he's talking about. I stammer off a thank you and pretend to be really, really interested in whatever is on the TV.

Later that night, my dad heads up to bed. My mom waits until she hears the bedroom door closed, and tells me it was a very good performance. She then adds that the pants were noticeably tight on me. A brief pause. I have time to hope that there is nothing else to this conversation.

"You know, you're funny and handsome, but after this girls should be ALL over you."

My thoughts: Dear lord. Dear lord.

"I think I heard some of the girls sitting behind me, they were impressed. Are you embarrassed by this, honey? Don't be! It's part of life, and you're blessed."

I was paralyzed by embarrassment, and excused myself to go to the bathroom.

Posted by mcblogger at April 29, 2008 11:29 AM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.mcblogger.com/movabletype/mt-tb.cgi/3350

Comments

Post a comment