April 29, 2008
The Rocket and the Rube
GOP darling and all around creep Roger Clemens is about to see his dreams of entry into the Baseball Hall of Fame go up in smoke because of a myriad of legal and personal problems. This time he allegedly had a “relationship” with then 15 year old country singer bubbette Mindy McCready that lasted a decade. Sources close to the Rocket said that he took her to a motel room, but did not have sex. We all know that they were just discussing the intricacies of the split finger fastball.
Clemens has entered the Michael Jackson realm – alleged sex with the underage, alleged drug use, alleged personality disorder, alleged perjurer, and allegedly living in a fantasy world. Like the King of Pop, the Rocket has a battery of lawyers that will keep him out of jail, and failing that, there are rumors that Dubya will pardon Clemens.
If he’s not careful, the ex-Longhorn pitcher’s personal services contract with Houston Astros’ owner Drayton McLane might be so stripped down and with all the legal fees he is incurring, the Rocket might end up living in the Mickey Mouse Mobile Home Park in Kissimmee, Florida trying to break into the Astros bat boy rotation during the Grapefruit League. There’s quite a few karaoke bars in that state. Of course, there is that Tennessee Department of Corrections work release program.
As for Miss Mindy, her next big hit could be, “The Rocket did it to me all the time.”
Posted by Captain Kroc at April 29, 2008 10:07 PM
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Comments
all ya gotta do is throw the ball, hit the ball, run from one little white diamond to the next...1...2...3. intelligence and good judgement are not athletic requirements so can you really blame him for poor decision making, corruption, lying to save his ass or banging a child when since age has nothing to do with his ERA it could not possibly matter in any other way either...
Posted by: lovelie99 ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.mcblogger.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at April 29, 2008 11:16 PM
Is he fat yet? You know, baseball players always get fat and lazy. Except Canseco, but he's juicing so he doesn't count.
IS HE FAT YET?
Posted by: mcblogger at April 30, 2008 09:14 AM
At least his nose hasn't fallen off yet. And if he wears a surgical mask, at least he doesn't go out in public.
Posted by: Mayor McSleaze at May 1, 2008 06:22 PM
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