April 18, 2008

EXCLUSIVE : Dildo claims responsibility for 39%'s plans

Yesterday afternoon I, like everyone else in the state, was stunned to learn that 39% intends to run for re-election in 2010. Stunned because, frankly, it's solid gold comedy. I had to read the email a few times just to make sure it wasn't some kind of prank. Then I got a call from The Dildo.

dildo.jpg McB : Hello?
Dildo : What's up, bitch?
McB : Oh Fuck...
Dildo : That's right...
McB : I thought you were melted in that fire.
Dildo : Not so much, as it turns out. It was a nice try, though.
McB : What the hell do you want?
Dildo : Oh, come on. I know you've seen the news...
McB : About Perry? I just assumed it was some kind of a joke.
Dildo : Well, it is. But not the kind you think. I made him do it.
McB : Forget the how. Why?
Dildo : Because he's a loser. And I thought it would be funny. You don't?
McB : Funny? How so?
Dildo : You have to ask? 61% of this state hates the man. He's a wholly ineffectual Governor whose balls rest in CradDICK's desk. Well, one of them anyway. The other is with the Dew. You Democrats could run Jennifer Gale against him in '10 and win. However, I don't think he'll get through the Republican primary. Even those mouthbreathers won't vote for him. It will be absolutely devastating to his ego. I'll laugh and laugh...
McB : I keep forgetting what a dick you are. So how?
Dildo : You always were kind of a dumbass. What do I have to do? Paint you a picture?
McB : No, I've seen you do more than enough.
Dildo : How's that quitting smoking thing going?
McB : Fuck you. (screaming) I FUCKING HATE YOU!
Dildo : Nice talking to you, cocksucker. Be seeing you soon! GO MOFO IN '10

It's always been assumed that evil stands behind the actions of malevolent people. Now we know for sure that isn't so much behind them as inside them.

Posted by mcblogger at April 18, 2008 09:24 AM

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Comments

Than you for the good laugh this morning. Much funnier than some of the posts on other blogs warning that the vast hard-right social reactionary wing of the Republican Party of Texas could propel Perry to victory in 2010.

Democrats best focus how they will beat KBH if she runs. Bell and Sharp are not mean enough. Not sure about Mayor White.

Mauro or Mattox could both beat Perry. If either one had to run KBH, they would leave enough blood on the floor to help down ballot candidates, even if she wound up winning.

Posted by: McIndependant [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 18, 2008 10:09 AM

You're welcome... As for 2010, I'm holding out a lot of hope for the Democrats. I don't think even Bell would run the same campaign. I think even he would chew the motherfucker up and spit him out.

Posted by: mcblogger [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 18, 2008 12:54 PM

Yay! The dildo is back! And trying to take credit for 39%'s power move on KBH.

But what really startles me is you are trying to stop smoking?!?!

Posted by: boobilicious [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 19, 2008 08:12 AM

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