December 24, 2007

Profiles in Dumb : Cornyn The Author (part 1 in a series)

It's no secret that we at McBlogger don't have a lot of love for Junior John Cornyn. However, what may surprise you are the reasons we don't love him. Frankly, we think he's pretty lame. Sure, we could spend hours writing about how he hates the kids by voting against SCHIP, refuses to acknowledge the reality of illegal immigration and has basically spent his entire term in Congress not fighting FOR the people of Texas but instead actively working against them by being little more than a rubber stamp for President Bush.

We could do that but we're not. In point of fact, we've already gone through most of that (just google 'Cornyn' on the sidebar). What really gets us is just how embarrassingly lame he is. Like that time we took him to a drinks party being thrown by some great friends of mine. He spent the entire party drinking Natty Light (he brought his own) and asking people to pull his finger. Frankly, I'm surprised my friends even talk to me.

Let's not even get into that time I fixed him up with his scorching hot chick I knew from work. She still won't return my calls.

Of course, this is all just a bunch of buffoonish behavior from someone who is seriously socially retarded. It's kind of excusable. However, his lame ass, feel good editorials are another matter entirely. The first one I noticed was this one about Blue Bell Ice Cream. Like all Texans, I love me some ice cream. I also have a lot of respect for the folks in Brenham who have turned what was a small, regional brand into a nationally known and respected ice cream. My only bone of contention with them is that they never make enough lemon. Seriously, it would kill you to make some more for the Randall's on Mesa here in Austin?

Cornyn doesn't have a problem with having enough ice cream because he likes the omnipresent Pecan Pralines and Cream. At this point you're probably wondering, "Who gives a fuck what kind of ice cream Junior John likes?". If so, you're not alone. Basically, our esteemed Senator, who some of you elected to work for us in Washington on serious issues, is taking time to write about Blue Bell Ice Cream. If that doesn't piss you off, maybe this will. Texas, even though we've had a Congressional delegation in the majority for most of the last 10+ years, is always getting shortchanged on federal highway funds. We send more to Washington than we get back.

Things are so bad that TXDOT is even reneging on their bloody agreement with CAMPO (Congrats, Kirk!) because they may not even have the funds to build toll roads. So, in short, we'll have no roads built and the bottlenecks we have now all over the state won't be fixed. Because federal highway dollars are drying up. And we have Junior John to thank for that.

While Cornyn writes about how great Blue Bell is, our infrastructure is getting older and far less capable of accommodating the ever growing numbers of Texans that he supposedly serves. But that doesn't bother Cornyn.

Maybe the next time you're stuck in traffic getting more annoyed with each passing minute at the endless field of lit brake lights in front you, you can think about how much Cornyn likes Blue Bell. In fact, think also about replacing him next November with Rick Noriega. He's the kind of Texan that actually gets things done.

Cornyn's too busy eating yet another bowl of Pralines and Cream to get anything accomplished. Other than writing about how much loves the little creamery in Brenham.

Posted by mcblogger at December 24, 2007 08:30 AM

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