September 23, 2007

The Week in Stupid

If any extraterrestrials searching for intelligent life aimed their antennas in our direction last week, chances are they didn't find much of interest radiating from this primitive planet. Consider:

President Bush's assertion that Saddam Hussein killed Nelson Mandela. White House press secretary Dana Perino later explained that The Decider had been briefly distracted by a shiny object and had actually meant to relate an anecdote about the time Dick Cheney killed Bambi.

Then there were spundit Bill O'Reilly's comments after he had lunch at a restaurant in Harlem and discovered that African-Americans were Just. Like. Us.

I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship.

It was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all.

My only regret is that Billo's basis of comparison was the Olive Garden and not Denny's, so I could observe that one difference was that people of all races were actually getting table service... I guess I managed anyway.

But the Outstanding Disachievement Award goes to Sherri Shepherd, a new co-host on "The View", who expressed doubts that the World is round. Actually, I think I can explain this. You may remember a few weeks ago when Miss Teenage Flyover State blamed Americans' poor knowledge of geography on things such as, many Americans don't have maps because they've been sent to places, such as, Iraq and South Africa, such as. Ms Shepherd obviously is one of those Americans lucky enough to have hung on to a map. Sadly, maps are flat and how are we supposed to expect a mere television personality to understand the difference between reality and a representation of reality? LEAVE HER ALONE! You're lucky she's even on your TV!

Could someone please give her a globe before she announces her presidential exploratory committee?

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at September 23, 2007 11:36 AM

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