September 21, 2007
Jokes of My Father's : Three in a day...none political
Frankly, I'm stunned... three jokes in a day from my dad. All of them at least moderately amusing and none of them political...
I rear ended a car this morning... The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf!! He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"So I said... "Well, which one ARE you then?"
That's how the fight started...
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word he made contact, "Connie....Connie. ."
"Is that you, Joe?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.""Oh, Joe you surely must be in Heaven!"
"Not exactly... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona
As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral directorto hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, with
no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a
cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be
the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I
became lost; and did not stop for directions. I finally
arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew,
who was eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.
I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and
stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the
vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I
would not hold them up for long, but this was the
proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still
eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul.
As I preached the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise!
the Lord," and "Glory!" I preached, and I preached,
like I'd never preached before: from Genesis all the
way to Revelations.
I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked
to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my
coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another,
"I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've
been putting in septic tanks for over twenty years!"
Posted by mcblogger at September 21, 2007 11:03 AM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.mcblogger.com/movabletype/mt-tb.cgi/2468
Comments
Post a comment
Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)
