April 26, 2007

True Stories of the Salon

I got my hair cut yesterday. I've been going to the same place for years, mostly because the lady that cuts my hair does a swell job, gives me a massage and is absolutely hysterical. Not just a little funny, a whole walking talking bag 'o crazy funny. That check I write every three weeks is soooo worth it for her stories.

No, she's not insane, she's just a marvelous storyteller of the first rank. Every single time I look at the little card I carry in my wallet and see that my appointment is coming up, I get a little happy. Because I know I'm going to get some damn funny stuff (and candy... she's all the time about the candy). Today's story was just wonderful, so funny in fact that I'm choosing to share it with you people. Even though you've done nothing for me recently. It's because I'm a giver. It's my crime.

Before I tell you the story, I have to give you a little background... Stylist and I hate one of her co-workers. I don't mean a little bit hate, I mean a lot hate because the woman is a bitch. She's constantly interrupting Stylist with one of her dumb stories and Stylist tries to act like she cares, but I know her. She's secretly hoping that bitchface will burst into flames (she's told me as much on several occasions. Normally, something like that coming from someone who has some VERY sharp scissors VERY close to my brain would be alarming. You just have to know Stylist). 'nuff said? OK, I'll move on...

Stylist, in very hushed tones, told me that earlier in the day, bitchface had a pedi that happened to be some older man. Apparently, when she was done, old man had a problem getting his shoes back on. And no shoe horn could be found. So, bitchface decided to let him use Stylist's SPOON. The spoon she brought to work for soup. For cereal. For stirring tasty things into coffee and tea. And bitchface picked it up and said "Use this" to some guy trying to put his shoes back on.

I was appalled but died laughing nonetheless. I asked her what she did with the spoon. She replied

"I threw it away. I don't want that spoon anymore."

I LOVE the lady that cuts my hair!!!

Posted by mcblogger at April 26, 2007 09:15 AM

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