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April 01, 2007

Confession Time: I'm Republican and Straight...

Last night, around 12:01, I realized that it was time for me to finally come clean with y'all. I'm totally a Republican who loves pussy. Seriously, y'all, I had sex with some random girl last night and loved it. Then, in the afterglow, we talked about how great President Bush was and how much we admired

  • Tom DeLay

  • Dennis Hastert

  • Pat Robertson

  • Tom Craddick

  • Rick Perry... even though we have issues with the TTC

    • We're getting married next week and moving to Virginia (it's for lovers) so that we can be closer to the epicenter of the Republican Revolution. I will be taking a job with Grover Norquist's Americans for Fax Reform and Mindy (that's the girls name) is already pregnant with our first child (what can I say...) and will be staying home to raise the baby (and those that will follow) while I shall venture forth into the world to provide for them. Because that's the way it should be... A Daddy who goes to work, a Mommy that stays home and tends the house (with the help of our loyal housekeeper, Mayebeth) and raises the kids.

    Anyone know of a good megachurch in Northern Virginia? Actually, nevermind... you godless Democrats wouldn't know a good megachurch if you ran into it with your Prius. I'll ask my new b-fri Ann Coulter to recommend a place. I'm sure she knows them all.

    Posted by mcblogger at April 1, 2007 09:30 AM

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    Comments

    Praise, Jesus. Coming right at the start of Holy Week, too.
    Now I have someone to drink Bud with, talk about the NBA draft, and look at Britney's cooter. See what you miss being gay. About time you came out of the tool shed.

    Posted by: Captain Kroc [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 1, 2007 12:41 PM

    Halleluha! Praise Jesus! You have been cured.

    It is so easy being a republican. Love Jesus. Have sex and lie about it.

    Posted by: johncoby [TypeKey Profile Page] at April 1, 2007 01:19 PM

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