March 02, 2007
The wicked mad bitches of the OC
(McBlogger's note : My Sister has been watching this crap so you don't have to. Catch up on all the greta commentary on the Real Housewives of OC here)
I find that I am am only moderately invested in Season 2 of the Real Housewives of the O.C. It has lost some of it's spark. Not that I am not watching the lifestyles of the rich and soulless, it's just not something I care about as much as say 'steak' or 'scotch'.
Vickie
She is the most transparent of them all! Who else loved her meltdown over the minivan when she was going on vacation? It was fucking hysterical! Who did not find the trip to Lake Havasu a little nauseating? Vickie + beer= gross. I get so embarrassed for her. She obviously thinks that she's hot which makes the fact that she is not all the more apparent. Her husband, Donn, is exhausted by her' energy', so she seeks the council of an astrologer. Because that is what all competent, intelligent women do.
Actually, I only use an astrologer for advice on business. Everyone knows that good reliable advice on personal affairs can only be obtained via palm reader. Anyway, it appears that Vickie's stars are behind her particular
type of crazy which thrilled her to no end. And what is up with those damn jersey shirts all of them are sporting? Did you notice Vickie's hot pink number with the huge bedazzled thing between her enormous knockers? That thing was bigger than a baby's head. Is it just me or does Vickie look like a Jim Henson creation? The lady is a fucking Fraggle.
Tammy
She seems so nice and, dare I say, normal. How she ended up with those wacky daughters I haven't quite figured out. The oldest, Megan, kinda looks like the sister in the Twilight Zone movie. You know that segment with Kathleen Quinlan in it? Anyway, she has found her Price Charming in Roman, a pit bull breeder. The
youngest, Lindsey, is a shell of a person who bemoans the bleak life ahead of her without horses. She is a prime example of how homeschooled kids are weird. It does not help that Tammy treats her like she is made of fucking glass. Hell, when the girl had a car accident, Tammy thought it was cute! I just don't get it. I just can't relate. McBlogger and I grew up in an enviroment where we were told that life wasn't fair and to suck it up from the get go. We don't do feelings. Anyway, maybe Tammy will fair better with her son, although I doubt it.
Jeana
And speaking of fucking kids! Jeana seems like a genuinely nice person. They have given her more play so far this season. Don't get me wrong. She is still a brown bird, but I don't mind her as much.That being said, she has committed a crime against humanity for burdening the world with her son Shane. He is such an
argument for abortion. When he constantly referred to Tammy, who was a guest in their home, as 'Tits' I wanted to kick him in the fucking head. What a loser. I actually felt sorry for that vacuous beauty queen he flew in from Canada.
Jeana's other kids seem relatively okay. What gives with that cancer of a husband of hers? I mean nothing says love like constant criticism and negativity. Between her spouse, demon spawn, and mangy dogs, I don't know how Jeana holds it together. I have decided she must be on some mission from God. And NAR.
Lauri
I think we will all remember where we were when Lauri said she was a Republican. I know it was a moment that I will always treasure. It was bittersweet for she revealed that she really has no idea what that means, but she knows she is one. I know a couple of other things that also could define Lauri, but I digress. Lauri has found her
salvation in clueless George. I mean, come on! Have you ever seen a bigger fucking mark? She has managed to put one child in lock up, and is fast on her way to throwing another on the street over cat shit. I am not really invested in it though, because the kids are assholes. I wonder where they get it from? Oh, and I love her pebbles of wisdom about how being wealthy sure as hell beats being poor. What a sage! Call me crazy, but I might have to have that embroidered on a fucking pillow!
Jo
Of Josephine! My little disappointment! The little minx that I have long championed has turned into a narcissistic spoiled twit. Hello, who else agrees that the bitch can't sing? Am I alone here? I mean I almost feel sorry for Slade. The passive aggressive torture she subjects him to is just plain cruel. I know she is pissed that he dated Lauri, but have it out and be done with it. I loathe passive aggressive people. It is such a chicken shit way to be.
I love how when she was leaving, she drew reference to the pink boa AND the discarded license plate from
season one. Why doesn't she just shoot him in the heart with rock salt and dance about pouring lemon juice on him? Oh, and by the way, what the fuck happened to Slade's youngest son? Did they sell him for Jo's studio time? What a fucking waste! Anyway, here's hoping for a brighter future! Jo is out and paying her own way, which (P.S.) is okay with her. I fucking loved it when she said that to Slade. Classic!!!!
Anyway, to be technical, Jo should be kicked off the show. She is no longer a housewife or living in the O.C. Would I miss her? Perhaps. But only if she pulls her head out of her ass, and starts acting like the lovable trollop we all know she can be. What a fucking titbaby.
Posted by barfly at March 2, 2007 12:02 PM
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