October 31, 2006
Happy Halloween, Bitches
Happy Halloween, kids (and McBlogger-ites)! I love it! This year I am going to be a bumblebee! Can you dig it? I love it so much I think I will wear my costume to ballroom dance class. Yes, that's right, I'm taking ballroom dance lessons. It is a lot harder than you think. My partner is really good, and picks up the steps right away. I am not so fortunate. 
Mr. Happy Feet just moves along like that spry little Joey Lawrence, and I plod along after him like a brain damaged Clydesdale. I think he is trying to sabotage me. He likes to give me a shove when I go to twirl just to hear me squeal. I chalk his behavior up to the fact that he is an actor. He says it might help him land a future performance in a play if he knows how to do these dances. I guess I can see that. I don't see it helping me any. I don't think anyone is going to buy a house because I can tango.
Anyway, finding something interesting to write about has been more difficult that sitting through an entire episode of 'Breaking Bonaduce'. Have things been kinda boring, or is it just me? Here are the few things that gave me pause.
Madonna
I really don't care if she adopts that baby or not. I really don't get what the big stink is about. After Brad and Angelina this kind of thing is just old hat. Something did occur to me as I was looking at a pictureof Madonna. She is starting to resemble the dried apple head I made in kindergarten for Halloween. If you had a childhood, you know what I'm talking about. 
Britney & new baby
It seems the little tyke is not named Sutton Pierce. I was actually glad to read this. I know I'm weird, but I never liked that name. Sutton rhymes with mutton. Babies as meat is so Jonathan Swift. Anyway, it seems they have named the baby Jayden James, which is totally gay. I even know what part of the float he is going to be on (the bantamweight at the front of the float, dancing with his arms in the air). However, I strike it up to his influence that Britney is starting to dress better.
Mary Kate and Nicole
Come the fuck on! I know this is an overtired subject, but it has seriously gone on for too fucking long! Seriously, look at her. I could pick her up and stir my scotch with her. Now Nicole Richie is in a treatment facility for nutrition. It is delaying the taping of another season of 'The Simple Life'. Get it together baby girl! Those average joes aren't going to annoy themselves! Irritation is the one thing you do really well. Get to it!
NBC & The CW
The Weinstein Company has accused NBC and the CW of banning ads for the Dixie Chick's documentary 'Shut up and Sing'. I sincerely hope that is not the case. I might expect such behavior from NBC, but CW, say it isn't so! How can the home of 'Veronica Mars' be so foolish? Pull your shit together and grow a pair! It's not like you can't use the money or that you're too classy to run this.
Bratz
I was in Toys "R" Us last week looking for a birthday gift for my 5 year old cousin. I thought it would be fun, but it proved exceedingly difficult. Every toy seemed too retro or too tacky. Do little girls still play with Cabbage Patch dolls? Anyway, I checked out a phenomenon that I had heard about on 'The Soup'. BRATZ! Now I have been told that I tend to be somewhat old fashioned, but this is incredibly fucked up! Are we training a nation of little girls to be scantily clad baby prostitutes? Kumi. Yasmin. Jade. Roxxi. Sasha. That is not a list of cartoon characters. That is roll call at a brothel. I checked out a talking Bratz doll. The box was designed to allow you to press the button to try it out and instructed you to ask the doll a question. I asked, "Oh omnipotent Yasmin, should I purchase a wildly inappropriate doll for a young impressionable child that might possibly lead her to desire a future in the sex trade?" The doll's answer was "Hard to say." I went with my gut and decided against it. She is going to have to make do with watching that slutty crap on TV. I'm glad I'm aware of it though. If my cousin starts talking like a bobble headed valley girl I will know where to place the blame.
Anyway, everyone deserves a good fright on Halloween...Now, I love, love, love Dolly Parton so I am not going to rip into her. Although the photo does make me a little concerned for Dakota Fanning. No, now that I think about her performance in 'War of the Worlds', the little wench deserves whatever she gets. I hate her and her retard dolphin scream.
Posted by barfly at October 31, 2006 02:00 AM
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Comments
Bratz.
What? How could you not love dolls named after something that is whiny and selfish, with huge collagen-injected lips and that express a "passion for fashion" marketed with a boilerplate "girl power" theme from Madison ave?
Sigh.
My girls love them.
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I haven't gotten much done , but it's not important. Not much on my mind lately. Today was a total loss, but so it goes.
My life's been generally bland today. I just don't have anything to say recently. I guess it doesn't bother me. Basically nothing seems worth doing, but I don't care.
My mind is like a fog, not that it matters. I just don't have much to say these days. That's how it is. I haven't been up to anything recently.
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