August 08, 2006
Update - Ask A ... Dildo that may (or may not) have been up Rick Perry's ass
After far too long from our hearts and minds (and other regions best left unmentioned), the Dildo returns to answer those questions some of y'all were so kind to email. Some of you may be wondering where the Dildo has been... which leads us right into the first question.
What's the deepest, darkest place you've ever been? RW, Austin
RW: Given what I am, and where I may or may not have been, isn't the answer really self-evident?
If you have been up Governor Perry's ass, can you tell us what else is up
there? I mean, we've all heard the expression, "a bug up one's ass." And, we
know Rick Perry has some kind of wierd bug up his ass for Bob Perry and
James Leinninger, shitty homes and school vouchers. So, what's the deal? Are
the two Perry's and Leinninger engaging in ass play in the Mansion in
exchange for loyalty and cash? Is the money Rick Perry receives from these
men more "hush money" than campaign contributions? Does Anita get to watch?
Does Dewhurst show up and put makeup on everyone, since we all know he wears
makeup (though he is not rumored to be gay)? Do they snort lines off of
Elizabeth Ames Jones' breasts while playing with the First Dildo? Have you
ever seen Martha Wong in fishnets with a large whip? Actually, that's a lot
of questions, but you can see how they're all related.Signed,
Inquiring Minds Want 2 Know
IMW2K : Leininger and Dos Perry's are some kinky mofo's. And yes, I have seen Martha in fishnets. All I'll say about that is a friend of mine who was part of a boot in 'Nam saw some brutal shit and my Martha Wong story actually made him throw up. There aren't many things that are truly disturbing in the world today, but that seeing those thighs definitely shook me to my non-vibrating core.
So, Rich, does the Statesman naturally suck or do you have to work
hard to produce such a shitty paper?
Hand to God I'm not now, nor have I ever been Rich Oppel. What I do is completely different from rimming. By the way, Rich needs a tongue scraper. Badly. Just sayin' is all.
Dear Rick Perry's Dildo That May or May Not Have Been Up His Ass,Tell me how it feels when Bob Perry is using you on Rick. Or, is it
that Rick uses it on Bob and that's why the donations are so, uh,
enormous? Do they call each other Perry during their dildo playtime
and do they think that's cute? Does their silliness over their name-
share thing make you go all limp?
Actually, yes, it does make me go a little limp... as if I've been placed near a blow torch. While I can only say that I may or may not have been up Governor Perry's ass, I can say that I have never been up Bob Perry's ass. There are some depths to which even I will not sink.
OK here's one:Is it crowded in there right now? what with all those local officials from the Valley and their noses?
Harry Balczak
Harry : Not at all. They were actually being fellated by the Ricky. What, you actually thought they could be bought with a few million dollars? How naive... they were bought with a few million AND one of Tricky Ricky's world class hummers.
Posted by mcblogger at August 8, 2006 01:11 AM
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Comments
I have a question for your, err, 'guest':
"Aren't you actually a lava lamp that overheated, then was squeezed and hand-tossed into your current shape?"
Oh yes, one more thing: DO NOT denigrate the good name of 'Perry' any more in this sordid affair.
Posted by: PDiddie at August 8, 2006 07:13 AM
PDiddie - Huh. I never even thought about that.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by: mcblogger at August 8, 2006 10:42 AM
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