July 27, 2006
Boys Banding Up Behind Bass
With the stunning announcement of N'Sync's Lance Bass's blatent and latent homosexuality, fellow bandmates have had to be careful in their press statements so as to not ensure the wrath of the Gay Mafia (head up of course by Elton John).
Sadly, Justin Timberlake (whose surname is Apache for Hard Wood Near Water) fell into the trap of unfortunate 'official statements'.
"Lance is one of my great friends," Timberlake said in a statement issued by publicist, Ken Sunshine. "I support him and wish him all the happiness in the world."
An otherwise safe statement was screwed up by the fact that his publicist's name is Ken Sunshine. Now that's just gay.
Bandmate Joey Fatone had this to say.
Joey Fatone from N’Sync also has kind words for Bass: "He took years to really think about how he was going to tell everyone. I back him up 100 percent."
We bet you back him up Joey. At least we know who's a bottom now. We just didn't know that you walked in on Lance once.
Fatone was the first 'NSYNC bandmate Bass told about being gay, after Fatone walked in on Bass and a male date at his house in Orlando, Florida. Fatone's response at the time? "Dude, I don't care," Bass recalled him saying. Chris Kirkpatrick found out last summer and JC Chasez three months ago.
But all jokes aside (which puts every boy band in existance off the table), what really gets to me most is the human element to this story. It reminds us that even fake people are real people.
Telling his bandmates has been easy, but telling his family was another matter. His sister became pale and started crying when he told her, while his mother "broke down." "The worst part about it was my mom found out not from me," Bass said. "She found out on the Internet, and that's what just killed me. ... It destroyed her for a little bit." His father, in the meantime, was concerned about diseases, telling Lance that "It's much easier for gay people to get AIDS," and "Statistics show that these relationships don't last. You know it's not going to last." "I was like, 'Dad, wow!' "
Posted by spamburgler at July 27, 2006 08:09 PM
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Comments
"Dude, I don't care"
Right. Joey, you may be all I don't care NOW, but when you catch him jerking off to a picture of you, you'll feel much differently. You'll feel like asking him for a blowjob.
That is how it starts.
Posted by: mcblogger at July 27, 2006 10:25 PM
He's probably just another st8 guy lookin for some nsa bj with Lance so long as he's discreet.
Posted by: spamburgler at July 27, 2006 10:46 PM
Plus, who would jo to Joey Fatone...
Posted by: spamburgler at July 27, 2006 10:48 PM
Oh, you and I both know someone who's geeky enough for that.
Posted by: mcblogger at July 27, 2006 11:25 PM
Who? your looover?
Posted by: spamburgler at July 27, 2006 11:35 PM
huh. Hadn't even thought of him, but I suppose him as well.
Posted by: mcblogger at July 27, 2006 11:47 PM
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