June 10, 2006
Here, and Loafing, in Fort Worth
Harry Balczak here, your erstwhile legal correspondent, with an inaugural post. Reporting live from the convention in typical H. Balczak fashion: half-assed, half-witted, and 2 days later than everyone else. Which reminds me, a quick nod to the Hilton, the Worthington, Chili's, Flying Saucer, Billy Miner's and the Pour House for their respective contributions to my wit's diminution. and now, here's the rundown on how ol' Balczak's been hangin' :
3 hours on 35 ends at the Worthington parking lot. Bataan death march. get to lobby. neither kingsize nor nonsmoking room available as reserved. deal w/ that later and press on to convention center. almost accidentally demoted from delegate to alternate. SD14 caucus features Elliott Naishtat's observational comedy, Kirk Watson wistfully recounts convention fistfights of yesteryear, Eddie R riffs in stream-of-consciousness prose. Committee positions up for election and the Vievestress snags a spot on resolutions in what appeared to be an impromptu bid w/ mucho bravado [hey G- what's the ACLU board's beverage of choice, eh?]. Another guy tries impromptu bid for platform committee, citing "draft me" campaign initiated by "the voices." yadda yadda, judicial candidates make a pitch, Maxey gives us a bit of the old Knut Rockne, fiery applause, etc. Enter the Graham Cracker. pitter patter golf clap. pretty much all to cover there.
after that, it's all a blur. rancid foot odor not stopping. not even in shower. grapefruit cocktail not distracting me from profuse foot sweat. splitting headache ensues. coffee takes it up a notch. more grapefruit/vodka/whatever makes the splitting headache feel sharper, but w/ a dreamlike quality. wander around. what's back at the convention center? walk back. OH GOD!! BLOOD!! GORE!!! VIOLENCE !!! MAYHEM!!! THOUSANDS ONLOOKING AND CHEERING THE SLAUGHTER!!!! GOD MAKE THEM STOP, THEY'LL KILL EACH OTHER!!!! IT'S TEARING US ALL APART!!! THIS IS NOT UNITY BUT DIVISION!!!! STOP THE MADNESS!! END THE FIGHTING!!! continue walking past boxing match in town square on to convention center. tiptoe in so as not to disturb the delegation. step in just in time to hear Chairman Nabisco introduce our statewide slate and everyone does the Hands Across America Victory thing and we all proceed out the door. i think the sincerity of my clapping fooled everybody.
on to the debauchery. well, that's another chapter maybe. hell, i'm less than 24 hours behind at this point and it's just not my style to be prompt. until later, this is H. Balczak, hanging around.
Posted by mcblogger at June 10, 2006 11:41 AM
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