January 31, 2006

At least we can cancel this Commander in Chief

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ABC shows mercy to beleaguered audience, Commander in Chief on hiatus

Those of you who have, like me, watched episodes of the show will no doubt understand the ratings drop that has puzzled executives at ABC. The show, simply put, sucks ass. Nasty, skanky, ain't-been-washed-for-weeks ass.

Here's a partial list of faults:

  • Impossibly simplistic story lines (calling them plots would be far to gracious)

  • Tortured, ridiculous dialog

  • Acting better suited to dinner theater

  • Those kids... those goddamn cutesy kids

  • Trite 'MacKenzie (played unendearingly by Davis) Knows Best' endings
  • Can you tell I've seen a few episodes...

    photo:JEAN CATUFFE / INFGOFF

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:03 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

    January 30, 2006

    Amazing expression of religious tolerance, part 2345

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    SNN: Georgia church supports selective freedom

    Ecknuramus, Ga. - The First Baptist Church of Eknuramus announced today its campaign to extend religious freedom to those "holding right beliefs," Pastor E. K. Bodcrain announced today.

    Check out the rest of the story on Dave Haigler's DemLog

    Posted by mcblogger at 11:25 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    You can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts

    Way, way back during the Great Folkmusic Scare the Chad Mitchell Trio had a hit with a ditty celebrating Bay State ax murderess Lizzie Borden...

    But you can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts
    And then get dressed and go out for a walk
    No, you can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts
    Massachusetts is a far cry from New York

    Oh, such simple, innocent times those! It seems that the law about who may chop up whom is... evolving.

    Dominatrix not guilty in bondage death

    DEDHAM, Mass. - A dominatrix was acquitted of manslaughter Monday in the death of a man who prosecutors say suffered a fatal heart attack while strapped to a replica of a medieval torture device.
    Then she summoned her boyfriend, who chopped up the body of the 275-pound retired telephone company worker before they dumped it behind a restaurant in Augusta, Maine, Nelson said. His remains have never been found.
    Prosecutors said Asher confessed to police, but the alleged confession was not taped, and police investigators who testified said they did not save their notes from the interrogation.
    Asher’s lawyer, Stephanie Page, said there was also no DNA evidence recovered from the bathtub, and without a body there was no real evidence that Lord was even dead.

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 04:20 PM | Comments (1)

    Get me to the liquor store on time

    The official rules for the 2006 State of the Union Drinking Game are available here. Make sure you're well stocked up... it sucks to have to make a run during the middle of the speech while listening to it on the radio. Plus, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

    Looking down the list, this is going to require some world-class drinking and will probably result in a much more massive hangover than the 2003 SOTU Bong Hit Game.

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 01:43 PM | Comments (1)

    January 29, 2006

    OK, so I'm guilty of this...

    Everyone's been bothered in the grocery story by some annoying fuck on their cell. That person is normally me and I could give a shit that you're annoyed by my obnoxious conversation. Still I thought the Cell Citation from KnockKnock Stationers (via CoolHunting) was funny and I'd love to see one even though I have no intention to stop having conversations that might be considered a little off color in the middle of Costco.
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    Posted by mcblogger at 03:38 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    January 28, 2006

    Tired of pesky merchandise sensors?

    If you're one of the millions of shoplifters out there you'll be able to see the value in a simple device, constructed at a low cost, that enables you to fry out the sensors in the items you wish to steal.

    Or, just maybe, someone's TV, radio, cellphone or iPod. Or, even better, RFID's used to track you or your car. The folks over at 22nd Chaos Communications Congress have created just such a device out of a single-use camera with a flash. They call it a portable RFID zapper but it's basically a portable (and reusable) EMP weapon. Imagine the fun to be had from zapping out toll tags...

    Not to say I would do such I thing, it's just an idea. And, as always, we at McBlogger never condone illegal activity, unless it's gay marriage and we're all about that.

    Make sure you check out the Caution section which includes:

  • Soldering irons are known to be unpleasantly hot at the tip.

  • RFID-Zappers don't comply with the FCC-rules.
  • Posted by mcblogger at 02:41 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    January 27, 2006

    Mashing Rosie and Pat

    I got this from a friend recently... I'm fairly certain it old but it's still amusing as hell. Some enterprising soul has mashed up Pat O'Brien's unfortunate voicemail with Rosie O'Donnell from Riding the Bus with my Sister.

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 26, 2006

    Endless deficits and countless excuses

    Remember Bush's promise to cut the deficit? Well, not so much...

    CBO Projects $337 Billion Deficit in 2006

    That's the headline but the news is worse. Though as a percentage of GDP the number is low, taxation is extremely low, longer term spending on Social Security is about to increase dramatically and the global economic environment is very different than the 80's. There are better places for investors to put their money which leaves our Chinese creditors to pick between our spendthrift ass and hookers. I'm thinking they'll soon opt for the hookers.

    What's the deal? Well, Bush would have you believe it's Katrina and the Iraqi occupation which is total crap. It's the tax cuts and the fact that they haven't grown the economy much in five years. The other stuff is big, but completely digestable... if he'd left long term tax policy in place and allowed the Fed to pull the monetary trigger they were already starting to pull in 2001 by dropping rates.

    Posted by mcblogger at 08:20 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    January 25, 2006

    I'll stick to my crystal ball...

    I recently saw an ad on TV for a program called The Key Of David. It touted the show as a program that looks at

    current events through the clear eye of biblical prophecy.

    I didn't feel like waiting for next week's show, so I went to the website and found this on the main page, along with a picture of the head (and upper torso) of the host...

    Each week Gerald Flurry discusses world events in the light of Bible prophecy. For over a decade Gerald Flurry has analyzed today's news from a unique perspective, providing answers to life's most pressing questions.

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    Honestly, I didn't know what was funnier... the fact that this guy has been analyzing 'today's news' for more than a decade or that he's been doing it with an eye on biblical prophecy, a subject that has vexed millions over the last 5,000 years. I did start thinking about life's most pressing questions. More specifically, I started thinking about my life's most pressing questions

    1) What's to be made of Yogurt Burst Cheerios? It's gross, right?
    2) When WILL I win the lottery?
    3) Is it the MSG that makes Ranch so yummy?
    4) Will I ever be a little girl again? Even if I'm a boy now?
    5) What REALLY happened to that puppy I had in fourth grade that mother claimed just decided to 'run away'?


    Mr. Flurry has no answers to these questions (or, at least, he's decided not to answer the request I sent out to him VIA MY MIND... come on, if he's a prophet then he should have responded DAYS ago).

    Then I found this on him and decided to make another drink.

    Posted by mcblogger at 08:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 24, 2006

    Fuck! I thought you were an auto mechanic!

    So President Bush was in Kansas. As with any speaking event, he said some boneheaded things. For him, it's much the same as breathing, purely a function of the autonomic nervous system. For some of the funnier bits check out INPT.

    For something a bit more serious, namely busting up Bush's argument defending his illegal wiretaps like a shitty pinata, check out David Corn. If anyone can slice and dice his way through the Excusemaker in Chief's bullshit, it's Corn. Here's a quote I thought was really amusing for purely personal reasons:

    I'm not a lawyer, but I can tell you what it means.

    Oh, DO go on, Mr. President. Please. I need the laugh which inevitably follows when someone starts a statement with 'I'm not a lawyer, but...'

    He does go on, unfortunately. He goes on to make it quite clear that he isn't an attorney and that he doesn't understand the very decision that may help remove him from office.


    Posted by mcblogger at 10:10 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 23, 2006

    Firing is Job 1

    Ford announced today it would be laying off between 25,000 and 30,000 people over the next few years. Actually, they're thinking through 2012. So much for that 'booming economy' Bush was talking about. I guess that kind of makes him a liar. A liar with a bad haircut and retard's sense of humor.

    One qoute from the press conference made me laugh...
    bill ford

    "...we need to build cars that the American people want..."

    I can tell you what the American people want without even digging into marketing demographics... they want a Toyota, Honda, Mercedes or BMW. Until you guys dig head out of ass and start designing cars people want, you're going to continue to lose business. I have little sympathy for a company that blames it's problems on it's workers and that's what the layoff is all about.

    Beating up on manufacturing personnel is the real 'job 1' at Ford.

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 22, 2006

    Gammage picks up support in South Texas

    On a campaign swing through South Texas, Justice Bob Gammage picked up support from a broad cross section of residents. The LMT has great piece on it. Here are some of my favorite parts:

    Gammage, who left public office in 1995, said he felt the need to return when George W. Bush was named president by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2000.

    "That was highly inappropriate and has never happened in history," Gammage said. "That got my attention, and then I started focusing on the state."

    Not one to bullshit around, Bob has a very strong opinion on current Governor, Rick Perry:

    "Perry is a weak governor with a failed record," he said. "He is too weak and too dependent on the wealthy, powerful and ruthless special interests that both he and (Rep. Tom) DeLay work for."

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:19 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    January 21, 2006

    Still under investigation and still talking smack

    Buttertroll came out from under the President's skirt long enough to lay out the Republican game plan for 2006. Rove, seen here while on vacation with family
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    laid out an agressive strategy that would focus not on the manifold weaknesses of the Republican party, but instead on how pretty (and distracting) shiny things are. Oh, and 'national security', like that means shit to the crew that leaked Plame's identity.

    Wanna know what DNC Chair Dean had to say?

    "Karl Rove only has a White House job and a security clearance because President Bush has refused to keep his promise to fire anyone involved in revealing the identity of an undercover CIA operative," Dean said in a statement.

    Anyone still think Dean as DNC Chair was a bad idea? Didn't think so...

    Posted by mcblogger at 11:00 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

    January 20, 2006

    Four Kings:Not as bad as Joey but pretty fucking close

    I'm trying to give NBC the benefit of the doubt but it's hard as hell. I made the decision to start watching on Thursday's again after they rid the schedule of the odious Joey, a show which defied enjoyment almost as much as a healthy Jewish grandmother.

    four kings.jpg

    Tonight I watched their new mid season shitstorm, Four Kings. It could suck worse, I suppose, but I was unable to think of exactly how that would be possible. The thing that kept going through my mind was "A million monkeys with a million crayons..."

    Avoid this show. It's bad. Watch anything else... even NOAA weather radar.

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 19, 2006

    Osama show cancelled, Kerry and we're heading for a recession, part 200

  • The ever tedious Osama was back in the news today. He threatened more attacks and offered a truce, but no terms and would say nothing about what he'd give up. Bitch sounds like one of my exes.

    The amusing thing about it... no one gave a fucking damn. No one. The stock market kept going up and people went about their lives. What could this possibly mean? No one's scared of him. Or al Qaida. Or willing to accept a bunch of shit from Bush for protection.

  • Kerry's panties are in a twist over an article in GQ... A) no one reads GQ. B) no cares about Kerry. Notice this is cross posted under poop tells vomit it stinks?
  • Bush fucked up by not letting all members of the intelligence committee updated about the illegal wiretaps. In both houses of the Congress. Oh, and the taps were illegal.
  • The TIC report came out yesterday and in a word, ugly. Foreign capital inflows to the US continue to prop us up (Federal debt plus Current (mixed in with Trade) account deficit requires us to borrow almost $1 Trillion/year). Disturbingly, an increasing amount of money is going to hedgies in the Caribbean. You remember them... the Asian Currency Crises of 1997-1998? And now they're loading into dollars. Hedgies like to pump and dumb. Look for $2 to the Euro.
  • Posted by mcblogger at 10:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    Best Buddies Forever!

    Just in case you forgot
    Bush and Tom Delay are BFF's!
    bush and tom delay1.jpgbush and tom delay3.jpgbush and tom delay5.jpgbush_delay2.jpgbush_delay4.jpg

    Just didn't want anyone to forget!


    Posted by mcblogger at 12:51 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

    January 18, 2006

    Fallout from Gore's speech : Scotty strikes, everyone laughs...

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    White House Spokespuppy Scotty McClellan responded to former VP Al Gore's statement that the President broke Federal law by authorizing illegal wiretaps in a not so funny way by yet again suggesting

    Gore does not understand the threat facing America from terrorists overseas.

    That's right, Scotty. The only person who understands the threat is the dry drunk in the Oval. Yeah.

    Scotty, being dumb even for a fucktard, doesn't realize that everyone understands the threat, they just aren't willing to give up their freedoms to make it a little easier for his boss to do his fucking job. The question I wanted to hear from the WHPC was

    If you're saying Bush can't do the job without breaking the law then shouldn't he resign now?

    Of course, Scotty was unwilling to leave well enough alone and suggested that President Clinton had violated the law in 1993. What Scotty was too soused to realize was that the LAW WAS AMENDED IN 1995 WITH CLINTON'S SUPPORT. Scotty was accusing Clinton of breaking a law two years BEFORE it existed. Cool, huh?

    In case you wanna see a really funny take on Scotty, check out welovescottmcclellan.com. Very nice!

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    January 17, 2006

    Dumb and Dumberer

    Which is really more stupid? Mayor Roy Nagin saying "New Orleans has always been a chocolate city" {Mmmmmm chocolate, although I remember it smelling like sewage and vomit) or Chris Matthews and TWO other white talking heads yammering about how shocked they are?

    We report, you decide.

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 07:02 PM

    Dude! Where the fuck have you BEEN?

    Al_Gore_Main.jpg

    I have to admit I never really liked Al Gore. I voted for Nader because I live in Texas, Bush was going to win anyway and I wanted to make sure the Greens polled well (I know, beat the crap outta me now... I'm a former Republican, too. Ready to incincerate me?).

    However, if I'd seen the guy who gave this speech instead of the sleep inducing bore who went on and on about the SS lockbox (WE GET IT, HERMANO!)I would've voted for him and worked my ass off to narrow the vote in Texas as much as possible.

    The President and I agree on one thing. The threat from terrorism is all too real. There is simply no question that we continue to face new challenges in the wake of the attack on September 11th and that we must be ever-vigilant in protecting our citizens from harm.

    Where we disagree is that we have to break the law or sacrifice our system of government to protect Americans from terrorism. In fact, doing so makes us weaker and more vulnerable.

    Nicely done, Mr. Vice-President. Very nicely done.

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 16, 2006

    ShellyTime : Whining about George Clooney, Walter Cronkite and NYT

    I check Shelly's site every once in a while to see what's up her ass today. Normally, it's something pretty dumb and today was no exception. I honestly expected her to have a problem with Al Gore's speech but instead she chose to focus on the following:

  • Walter Cronkite made the critical error of saying Iraq was a mistake and that we should leave now so the country can stabilize (basically, our troops are providing a rallying point for the insurgents and once that's removed the civilian populace will turn against them en masse... not exactly a new idea and one that makes a hell of lot more sense than invading Iraq did). So, Shelly predictably loses it and decides to cross post from some other R crazy. Oh and she uses the word moonbat. I prefer fucktard. The proper usage is 'Shelly Malkin is a fucktard'.
  • George Clooney told a joke at the Golden Globes. It was funny... to people with a sense of humor, a group which evidently DOESN'T include Shelly and the crew of Political Teen.
  • Shelly wants to beat up on the NYT for getting conned into publishing that photo of the bombing site in Pakistan that featured a bomb which WASN'T one of the ones used in the attack. She forgets that we, you know, fucked up on the attack but why bother Shelly with details when she can attack the NYT for 'staging' the news? Kinda cool how she can only see demons at the NYT. I see a photographer who didn't know better. Of course, that's why I'm normal and Shelly is, well... Shelly. She also doesn't mention the Times already retracted the photo.
  • There is hope for talentless skanks everywhere and Shelly is living proof that every 'working girl' can make good shilling for the right wing!

    Posted by mcblogger at 11:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Blunt vs. Boehner : Douche Battle Royale

    Blunt said today he 'has the votes to be majority leader'. Boehner says 'we'll see'. I didn't realize douche was comprised of self important arrogance but apparently it is.

    Then there is this from a guy in Dallas...

    Blunt says he has the votes to win.

    I hope so. I’m for Blunt, too. I like to see the Republicans step in it, particularly when it serves a public purpose and not merely a partisan one. Unless the Republicans get their olfactory sense repaired before their Party caucuses in February, they are going accomplish this smelly deed all by themselves, meaning they won’t even be able to blame Bill Clinton.

    Oh yeah, I'm for Blunt, too. More bad hair and horrendous plastic surgery on the R side of the aisle? Bring it on!

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 15, 2006

    There's at least one D running for Governor in Texas...

    Those of you who, like me, find themselves in Texas and involved in Democratic politics (I hear your snide, snarky laughter bitches) are already aware that there are D's running for Governor (which I will misname as smurfs):

    Boring Smurf
    Teachy Smurf - I gotta admit, I like this guy!
    Intelligent Design Smurf

    Now there finally looks like a candidate who can win. Yeah, I'm biased... I'm working for him (volunteer only! I still have SOME integrity so piss off). However, if anyone has a shot and will actually run as a DEMOCRAT it's going to be Bob Gammage.

    Posted by mcblogger at 11:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    January 13, 2006

    The revenge of the 'chop

    lambchop kills.jpg
    Check out more at SA...

    Posted by mcblogger at 08:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 12, 2006

    Fucking Crybaby...

    crybaby.jpg

    OK, so I know I'm a bit behind. Yesterday, in a very clearly staged event, Sammy Alito's wife broke into tears and had to leave the hearing room. Why do I say it was staged? Because it was a Republican questioning him AND THEY HAD RECENTLY REHEARSED THE ENTIRE EXCHANGE WITH HER IN THE ROOM.

    Fuck you and your tears, Martha-Ann. Why? Because you're completely avoiding any semblence of integrity and going for a cheap emotional response. Screw a bunch of shame, you're just a sad, fat cow.

    And that suit was AWFUL. Where did you get it? Stein Mart? Keep in mind things are there because no one wanted them.

    Posted by mcblogger at 08:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 09, 2006

    Fatass : We're going to get rid of the 'Hos!!!

    Fucking hell, y'all! Fatass Hastert has lost his mind! He's going to put thousands in the DC area out of work simply to 'clean up' Congress. Of course, it's been dirty for years and a major industry has developed during that time to provide many, many 'happy endings' as well as an exotic variety of alternative media .

    It's every Congressperson's right to kickbacks, booze and whores! We have to stand up and do something or all these people will have to stand on line for unemployment. I can't think of ANYTHING less dignified.

    hookers.jpe

    OK, so I lied. The big question is, did Fatass clean his glasses and discover that lobbyists operate in an ethically gray area JUST THIS WEEKEND? It's not like he hasn't been in Congress for decades.

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 08, 2006

    So I'm bored and watching Restuarant Makeover...

    Well, I was watching it earlier today and decided to pick up and actually finish posting what is obviously a 'FILLER' post. However, this show was pretty amazing (not really) and restaurant looked great afterward (if you're blind). Here's the synopsis of the show:

    Restaurant Makeover
    Episode MR0109 - Silk Road Cafe
    Silk Road Cafe owner Tom grew up cooking for his eleven brothers and sisters. Years later he opened a restaurant inspired by his travels - The Silk Road Cafe. However, as five years past, the restaurant is in need of an update.

    The thing that really impressed me was the attention to detail, like showing the chef how to slice the stalky part of a cabbage leaf off to use it as a wrap. A close second was wiping off the dust bunnies and airborn grease from the ceiling. ech.

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 06, 2006

    Why listen to facts when I have a speech based on bullshit?

    Treasury Secretary John Snow at the US CoC yesterday said the US was the 'economic envy of the world'. Maybe it's because our interest rates are pretty much the highest of industrialized nations. Then we get this not so good job report which reinforces the case that the tax cuts haven't really done shit for the economic fortunes of the vast majority of Americans.

    For those keeping score, the economy has to produce 180k jobs per month just to keep up with the growth in the workforce, more to actually bring down unemployment and cover immigration. 2005 has been decent with us JUST covering this number but, of course, it doesn't do much for those who've been hit hardest by Bush's jobless recovery.

    Posted by mcblogger at 01:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Patty goes off his meds...

    Former Republican Presidential candidate and televangelist Marion 'Patty' Robertson told his 14 viewers yesterday that Israeli PM Ariel Sharron's (who is obviously very old) stroke was God's way of 'smiting' him for dividing the Holy Land and giving some of it to the subhuman Palestinians according to Velma Lynn Ratsinger, one of the 14 700 Club viewers, from Des Moines, IA. Robertson, pictured below with former boy toy Brad Stine
    BradStine-PatRobertsonCBNChristmasParty2003edited.JPG
    went on to say that sometime next year would be the rapture and that God had already told him he would spend eternity in a bowl of warm pastry cream.

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 05, 2006

    When bad writers get blowjobs...

    They end up writing stuff like this...

    As excited as a freed colt, Austin-born Carole Keeton Strayhorn declared herself an independent candidate for governor this week. Her Tuesday stop here in shimmering sunlight with a reflecting pool and the towering San Jacinto Monument in the background must have looked pretty on TV.

    Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 06:49 AM | Comments (2)

    More movie news...

    From American Idle...
    kickbackmtn.jpg

    Posted by mcblogger at 12:37 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

    January 04, 2006

    Now in theaters : Jack the Flipper

    Bringing horror to Republicans across the land comes a story of a uberlobbyist turned snitch who's mouth leads to their ruin. Here's the graphic for the poster...
    Abramoff.jpg
    and the synopsis from the WaPo.

    I've only seen bits and pieces but I think it's four stars out of five. I NEVER give perfect scores so no bitching.

    Posted by mcblogger at 10:19 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

    Dave, tell us how your really feel...

    oreilly_letterman.jpg

    David had Billy on his show last night and proceeded to use him much like children use a pinata. See it here...the clip is a little long but well worth it.

    Posted by mcblogger at 08:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 03, 2006

    Russia v. Ukraine:Let's get ready to yawn!

    Here's the skinny on the natural gas cut off and it's not entirely the Orange Revolution. All Russia is doing is demanding a market price for the gas. Russia has been subsidizing the sale of nat gas to Ukraine for years at about a quarter of market prices.

    Regardless, the spigot is back on temporarily, mostly because of the Europeans complaining about their supplies.

    I don't blame the Russians. Seriously, I think they went a bit to far hiking up to market in one step but they should be not be subsidizing the heating bills of Ukrainians. Granted, it's peevish as hell on their part to link this to Ukrainian politics. However, they should be able to get a market price for selling their energy. It's not like it's going to last forever...

    Posted by mcblogger at 09:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    January 02, 2006

    Remember that recession...

    yeah, looks like it's going to start a little early...

    Last week the 2 year Treasury yeild went higher than the yeild on the 10 year bond, offically inverting the curve.

    One of the big factors keeping our rates from rapid escalation is almost non-existent interest rates in Europe and Japan. As those economies accelerate, those rates are going to go up, forcing us higher. Combine that with this...(scroll to Casey Wian's report) and you have the makings of that recession I wrote about a few weeks ago.

    Happy New Year!

    Posted by mcblogger at 11:46 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack